#smallwritings

[ultrabrutal]

I am dirt; He holds my hand and I am ice; I am a cold imposter that holds too many emotions He sneaks his hand to my inner thighs And I start to melt; I gasp in shock, too hard to breathe, too hard to expect his swift moves He moves my hair out of his way and starts kissing my cheek and neck And I am a ball of joy; I am heavily breathing and I am pleasurably collapsing and all I manage to let out is a breathless whisper of his name I want to give in; I want to face him and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him But he has already found his new destination He slips his hand into the only sheet of clothes parting between my skin and his and squeezes my derriere And I am a sea; And he is the shore; And I keep crawling back to him, I keep losing control and let him have his way with me And he parts himself away and leaves me as if I was a flower and he was the sun that sends out its rays to flirt with the flower's leaves and the leaves naively keep approaching the sun rays; deceived by the temporary proximity of the sun rays that was his hands and the flower's leaves were my exposed body parts And we forget that the sun is the source of sun rays And the flower is the source of leaves And we forgot that the flower's home was the earth And we forgot that the sun's home was its own galaxy And we are left wondering will one of them compromise for the other ? Then we remember we are only humans; we have the whole universe in us We are the seas, dirt, ice, flowers, sun, moon and every natural occurrence possible We have their traits; and I know I will compromise and He will understand and I will always be the sea and he will be the shore I will be ice and he will easily make me melt between his hands I will be the flower and he will be the sun We'll always be the contrasts but somehow someone can't live without the other.

[ultrabrutal]

I have always visualized us marveling at picturesque paintings in fancy places; and shaping-playing with smoke of cheap cigarettes when we are broke but little did I know I was your second choice. You would come and put me high up in the sky and suddenly disappear like thin air Leaving me with my mind and thoughts I would question my appearance and everything about me even my existence I was so blind I didn't see you fading away It was like I was your five-minute-break cigarette; you would easily put me out after lightening me up every time I was the sun lightening up your days but you were in love with nights and galaxies and stars and I am so sorry but I desperately hate you.

[ultrabrutal]

I suppressed a bitter wry laugh when I glanced in the mirror; winged eyeliner, a fiery red lipstick and the most delicate outfit I have But then another laugh escaped my lips; Is this how I'll mock everybody, including myself ? Is this how I'll deceive everyone ? By my glowing loud laugh and my carless outgoing self ? Is this how I'll pretend that you didn't crush my lungs with the weight if your words, that I didn't let you cling to my bones like the smoke of the cigarettes you always had on you ? Is this how I ignore the dark grey clouds overhead in my room, that is so full of your smile and just the bad version of you I loved ? And is it how I forget your sparks, that instead of lightening our way, they burned us down ? You were the piece of art I so desperately wanted to finish but suddenly I woke up and it was gone and sometimes I find the leftover paint I used in the piece and then I can't ignore the ache in my soul, the stingy tears, the memories of you that creep at the corner of my mind and the overwhelming emotion that I can't contain, the unbearable raging anger no one can fathom But in fact this is how I will make me hate you, this is how I will survive without causing any harm.

[ultrabrutal]

You’ll never quite understand why does she wake up in the middle of the night to passionately dip her brush in her own mixed colors “I like to mix my own colors” she always told me And starts to speak her mind and soul by letting the brush lead her way through the painting “I start holding the brush only to awake to see what I was doing” And if you look closer at the her paintings you’ll find her signature is like no other “A part of me” she signs by a familiar baby-blue color you’ll find between her fingernails and strands of hair