ignore the two generic smurfs after smurfette they're just there bc the formatting sucks :/
also i couldn't find a finance smurf but he belongs in the "burn in smurf hell'' category <3
also i have time to kill so. list below the cut!
1. Clumsy - sweetheart. doesn't have a mean bone in their body. very autistic.
2. Lazy - i don't know how to explain lazy being an unintentional allegory for people with invisible disabilities that are considered a burden and. lazy under capitalism. but he has a big heart and cares about his friends even when they're less than considerate towards him (seriously, WHAT was the slumber party episode? were they like, intentionally trying to torture him?)
3. Jokey - "Oh, the folly of a clown, masking his loneliness with a joke!" <- person who definitely doesn't have any internal issues :). Also can we just appreciate the fact that he has ONE main prank and everybody still falls for it. (not to mention that the prank is. giving people bombs)
4. Timid - he BABY
5. Scaredy - he baby 2
6. Smurfette - specifically lost village smurfette cuz that was where she peaked. you go girl give us an identity crisis and journey of self-discovery only to find the answer was with you all along!
7. Greedy - comics/ 2021 specifically, because him and chef being distinct characters is funny as hell. he's so cute i would totally give him a muffin if he asked.
8. Harmony - he sucks so bad at what he's supposed to be best at! and i think that's so interesting and criminally underexplored! and every time he gets the other smurfs to like his music it ends badly :(.
9. Painter - dramatic ass bitch (affectionate). why was he the only french person in belgium.
10. Doctor - i assume that one's doctor at least. it is now. anyways he's funny as hell, like harmony he's also...bad at his passion. he doesn't have a reason to be a quack, he's just. Like That.
11. Reporter - I like his voice.
12. Poet - there is NO need to speak in couplets all the time, he's so extra.
13. Tailor - "*terrible Kip King impression* EVERYBODY STOP COMPLAINING OR I'LL SCREAM." He's really nice, he made Smurfette that dress in one episode even though he was busy, and he made Tracker a fur coat out of the scraps he gave him and Vanity a scarf with his face hand-embroidered on it just because? AND more importantly, he's very blunt. i like that :)
14. Hefty - no no you didn't see my love for strong muscular guys that are kind and caring and totally whipped for that one girl. ok he's not maws level but like. if you can put "she's so high" by tal bachman in a ship playlist then you've got a valid m/f ship
15. Grouchy - let him say hate again oh god please i will tear my ears out if i have to hear "me, I don't like x" again. fuckin WEAK. also the grammar i wanna curl up on the floor and cry.
16. Farmer - remember when all the smurfs only wore white pants so to distinguish farmer from the others he would just be randomly carrying a hoe for no reason. also his accent is SO silly in the new cartoon i love it.
17. Vanity - just...watch this.
18. Brainy - i'm sorry for putting him so low brainy fans can you ever forgive me /hj. with all fairness i do think he's an interesting character! he's just...interesting in a way that doesn't really appeal to me specifically.
19. Handy - i feel like he would build a doomsday device if he got bored one afternoon and honestly? i respect that.
20. Papa Smurf - sometimes he's a good father figure. sometimes he's a terrible "father figure". it depends on the medium. and the direction of the wind.
21. King (pretentious) Smurf - made a whole authoritarian regime in like. two days. what the hell man.
