&.* what was she doing here? the question echoed monumentally loud within her head but quickly gained an answer that painted itself on rosy lips, grimacing. she was trying. for those that deemed to give a crap about her. trying. but she didn’t really want to. she wanted to run away, to throw her promises down the drain. had she promised? or just “claimed”? the clinical walls that surrounded her nailed the lid closed on the coffin. she needed to leave. her fingers fidgeted, pushing back cuticles and clearing dirt from underneath nails. she needed a hit. something to get her past sympathetic eyes that met her brown orbs. that knew what she knew. that she wasn’t going in. one potato, two potato. the face drew her a step closer, and for just a moment she thought she’d do it. each step closer had her one step further from the room. just enough to see the chairs all aligned in a circle, the snacks untouched, the faces already seated chattering amongst themselves. everything that was expected, that rhiannon expected... that she’d prepared for. ‘hi i’m rhia and i don’t really need to be here.” danced on bated breath. one. two. she counted silently willing legs to progress, and they did. so far that she met the threshold of the vacant gymnasium, before spinning and sprinting back out the poster-clad doors previously entered. no. no. no. she was fine. perfect even. she was happy. healthy. and in the end wasn’t that all that counted? in a neighbourhood unknown, she paced city streets before finding a quaint cafe. a quick coffee order later, had rhiannon in the bathroom cutting white lines on a cosmetic screen and inhaling quickly. one. two. immediately, like matter over mind, her jitters left her. the last fifteen minutes a quick blur and a hilarious story that she’d tell herself in ten years. ‘that one time she was peer pressured to fix what was never broken’. she was fine. flushing the toilet although never used, the red head brushed an arm over her nose, clearing any evidence of her true bathroom activities. a mirror check later and she found refuge in a quiet nook of the cafe, her caramel latte brought out swiftly and her thoughts left to immerse themselves in the latest hits softly echoing in the small space.
