#sniper babies

[a-lil-perspective]

*baby Keida toddles along, tentatively*

Crosshair: *to Delana* Look, hon.

Crosshair: The baby’s taking her first—

Baby Keida: *runs up and strangles Asher*

Crosshair: …Life.

[a-lil-perspective]

One of the sniper babies.

[a-lil-perspective]

Crosshair taking lil miss Keida out grocery shopping

Crosshair: *holding Kiki’s hand whilst they stroll along*

Keidala: *sudden epiphany* *gasps* I WANT A BLASTER WITH A SILENCER.

Crosshair: Alright. If it’s on sale.

[a-lil-perspective]

Crosshair and miss Keida eating out at a diner

Waitress: Police and kids five and under eat free! :)

*Crosshair, discreetly nudging his 6-year-old*

Keida: I’m a police.

[a-lil-perspective]

Sniper babies according to Delana:

Delana: First child (Asher): Love. Sweet kisses. Sticky hugs. Laughter. Cuteness. Joy. More hugs. Adventure. Mini-me. Mini-Crosshair. Crosshair’s smile. Silly dancing. Dressing up. Snuggle bunny. Drawing bunnies. Mac and Cheese. Blue’s Clues. Drawings for the fridge. Paper ships. I'll have one more of these, please.

Delana: Second child (Keidala): Rabid monkey climbing walls. Opening cabinets. Undoubtedly preparing for world domination. Escape artist. Crosshair’s scowl. Chess snobbism. Running. Running faster. Green marker self-tattoos. Hugs are for the weak. Ripping leaves off plants and showering them on the cat. Murder on the brain. Screaming.

[a-lil-perspective]

Keidala assertively telling her teacher, “You know, I just don’t think my learning needs are being met here.”

It’s day three of kindergarten.

[a-lil-perspective]

Keida and her papa Cross. XD

[a-lil-perspective]

Other Parents vs Crosshair

I told you sniper baby shenanigans.

• Seeing your child pointing a gun

Other Parents: Oh my God, put that down, PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW, where did you even get that—!!??

vs

Crosshair: *not even glancing up from his paper* Keida, don’t shoot your brothers, it’s nine in the morning.