Ok, ok, ok, I have made an eerie discovery recently and must share the brainworms.
So, I was pondering a genderbent mdzs au, as one does, and I started thinking about how genderswapped Xuanli would work, as Jzx would probably marry into the Jiang Sect, and I had A Realization.
They would be uncannily similar to Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan.
Cause think about it! Genderbent Jyl would be very similar to Jfm, what with their gentleness and overall kindness (at least at first glance; I have issues with Jfm, and I firmly believe Jyl can and will turn into a passive-aggressive bitch to anyone who belittles or bullies her brothers), and Jyl's sibling-like relationship with Wwx, who is not her (his) biological family, would probably mirror Jfm's perceived relationship with Cangse Sanren.
That, paired with Jzx's prickliness towards Jyl, which would definitely come across more Madam Yu-Like genderswapped, as well as feelings of being trapped, mirroring Yzy's own, would, I think, be almost an exact reflection of Jfm & Yzy's relationship.
I honestly think the only thing that would save them from becoming the Jiang Parents is a combination of Wwx's adamant insistence that Jyl isn't in love with her ("How dare you!? Shige's engaged! What kind of man do you think he is, huh!?") and Jzx's social anxiety, which (as far as we know) wasn't present in Madam Yu, who I don't think ever really liked Jfm.
There's also the difference in Jfm and Jyl's flavors of gentleness. Jfm's gentleness, I think, is a lot more superficial and political, while Jyl is genuinely warm and kind, and really does care for Jzx, and once Jzx starts to believe that Jyl isn't in love with Wwx and gets to know him, I think they'd still have a very happy marriage.
Wow, that got long and analytic, sorry lol, just wanted to infect your brain with the worms that have grown in mine!
(Also send help, I'm being dragged on a family camping trip 😭)
NEVER APOLOGISE!!! I love these thoughts so much and am eating them, tearing them apart with my teeth for extra flavour. Fem Jin Zixuan would feel so out of place in Lotus Pier and would feel so trapped in a marriage that she didn't get to choose (even if she is in love with Jiang Yanli, we see in canon how Jin Zixuan reacts to something he didn't get to choose), and that would definitely translate into her being perceived as a bitch because misogyny.
HOWEVER, I do think that the first instance Jin Zixuan even insinuates that Wei Wuxian n Jiang Yanli have something going on, she gets like bodily slammed by Wei Wuxian. After that bitch fight, she's still a bit suspicious, but then starts overhearing the 'Lan-er-jiejie is so cool! So pretty, so refined!! So elegant! No man is worthy of her gaze!!!' After that, she's like 'Oh em gee, I thought Nie Huaisang was joking when she talked about gay people.' Because, if Jin Zixuan is in Lotus Pier a lot, she's going to be hearing about Lan Wangji. A lot. Ain't nobody in Lotus Pier thinks that Wei Wuxian's straight after the Cloud Recesses lecture.
Anyway, thinking more about xuanli, there is so much potential there. Jiang Yanli seeing the parallels between his relationship with Jin Zixuan and his parents' relationship, and desperately wanting to avoid it but not knowing how to. Jin Zixuan appearing cold and snide when actually she's just anxious and doesn't know how to socialise with people not trying to stab her in the back at all times. The tentative but hesitant beginnings of affection between them, when they're alone and when there's nobody meddling from the outside. So gentle, so sweet, like a proper slow burn...Jiang Yanli isn't going to rush Jin Zixuan because he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable or scare her off, and Jin Zixuan needs to figure out how to act around nice hot guys.
Anyway, you're so right, you're so real, you're so everything. Lyn this is why we're married and in love because you bring me things like this. Perfect.