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I don’t make personal posts anymore, but this is the only place I can share this and KNOW that some of you will fully understand the level of absolute horror I am currently experiencing...

I got an email from livejournal today about changes to their T&Cs and thought “Huh weird, does livejournal even still exist??? If it does I definitely don’t have an account anymore.... Unless I do???”

I went to the site and guess what tumblr???? Not only do I indeed still have a livejournal account but it is FULL of Supernatural fanfics (mostly unfinished) that I wrote way back in 2012 and somehow managed to forget EVERYTHING about.

I’ve spent the last 3 hours reading them. I may now need therapy. My brain clearly forgot about those fics and that account for my own protection and now that I’ve re-discovered them I am suffering true psychic damage.

#supernatural #spn #2012 #tumblr #livejournal #about me #destiel #sam/cas #like the writing quality isn't too bad #but the content #so much cringing #I genuinely don't know whether to laugh or cry #2nd hand embarrassed by the actions of my past self #some of them are really long so I clearly spent a LOT of time on them

Actual footage of me re-reading some of my first fics:

#did I even know how to grammar?#the cheesiness was off the charts #so much cringing #bless my readers #the author life #it gets better

I realized I’d never posted the updated version. Old version here.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #DAI #ameneth lavellan #I ought to keep working on the armor but given I haven't touched it since july that is PROBABLY not happening #this one's a high enough resolution to print though and I might actually do that #I'm really proud of it #sometimes I draw things #the old one is making the rounds again and honestly every time I see it in my notes I kind of cringe #and go 'but that is the OLD and NOT GOOD version with TOO MUCH TALKING IN THE DESCRIPTION'#and then remember I never posted this one #it will not get as many notes because the other one escaped but I will FEEL better with this one in the world as well #I mean the old one isn't... entirely terrible #I just almost invariably come back to look at old art and cringe because I can see the flaws #which is good! it means my ability to see things I have screwed up is improving and therefore my art can improve #it just also entails a lot of cringing #so much cringing

rereading fanfic you wrote is a mix of “wow, I wrote that?” and “wow, I wrote THAT??”

#between astonishment and #cringing #so much CRINGING

That post-interview mental replay of stupid things you said during the interview feel

#ms4 #life of a medical student #residency #interviews #medblr #studyblr #interview season #so much cringing #obgyn #please hire me

How many hours are in one day for Carli Lloyd that she is able to: 1) train 10X more than any other athlete. 2) tell everyone on the planet how much more she trains than any other athlete. 3) find any tweet that is vaguely negative. 4) respond to the negativity by reply, blocking, or the lamest hater memes ever created. 5) spend at least 6 hours in a circle jerk with Galanis.

Tell me that isn’t at least a 27 hour day. She has some black magic time management thing happening.

#and she watched fucking golf?#maybe Galanis is a mad scientist and was able to clone her years ago #uswnt #so much cringing #brian gets 20 minutes a month

When you get so involved in catching up on the Discourse and drama that's going on you don't even realize it's already 4:30 and you have WORK AT11 GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP 🙃

#personal #tbd #went on an enormous blocking spree tho #SO MUCH CRINGING #on both sides #I just can't anymore #just gonna write #and stay in my FUCKING LANE

tried watching a video about why ASMR is so popular, naively thinking it wouldn't be almost entirely ASMR because it was a BBC News report and now I need to go rip off my skin, crawl inside my own ribcage, and cease to exist

#GOD IT'S AWFUL #I WAS EXPECTING /SOME/ ASMR BUT NOT LIKE 80% OF A NEWS REPORT #SO MUCH CRINGING #and gagging but fuck I hate asmr so much #please if we ever meet in person do not --I repeat do NOT-- ever try to whisper in my ear I will punch you so fast #also don't whisper to/near/around me but like a whisper in the ear is a surefire way to get yourself a broken nose

#so much cringing

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