Mar 5, 2019
Someone: *Hands me any form of money.*
Me: What's this for?
Someone: You've earned it!
Me: No I haven't.
Someone: Why not?
Me: I haven't done enough to earn it.
Someone: Oh. Well, when will you have earned it?
Me: When I'm dead.
#robbie rants#delete later?#dunno really#to be honest... it's almost been too happy#like hitei (a few personal friends will know it-) hasn't done nothing for a while and idk the last time it was true that-#-its happened one night or a random vent was true/crying/the whole shabang not just a small thing-#so... it feels weird?#Being... not anxious? Not hating myself? don't get me wrong I'm still a lot and working deeply on it#But I haven't had a panic attack in... weeks. maybe months- maybe since 2019 started- idk-#its weird but it's also a good thing but I'm not jumping for joy-#Do I miss it???#I don't know what I feel???#It.. just feels weird not having been in that state of mind for a while...#I want to cry/part of me is telling me to but the rest has become a bit better saying nah#idunnoman#someoneexplainthe101ofhumanfeelingsandwhytheysuckandmakenosense?