#social contracts

[etakeh]

[this-is-not-a-slow-burn]

HOLDING BOUNDARIES WITHOUT GUILT

credits in image

[handsingraphite]

.

I know I should stay off certain fan takes but they bleed into timeline even momentarily, Twitter enables this a lot of the time.

But if I see another conspiracy theory about Mile and/or Apo mistreatment because BOC have favorites, I am going to scream.

The fans have reached a point where it's just intentionally reading malice into every move, and that is the most exhausting mindset to be in. How difficult is to not assume, to not keep track of what's happening with other people you say you don't care about, and to not just be covetous of what the other side gets.

Repeatedly: we do not know behind the scenes what goes on. There is a level of transparency that can be demanded, but not everything, because contracts with advertisers and other members of the creative industry still have confidentiality clauses built into them. Not to mention that event work guidelines will differ all the time.

This is specifically in reference to the perceived oppression of Apo and his popularity because he didn't get a flight send-off but BBB did, but no one knows or has been able to confirm if (a) his official FC requested, (b) Apo preferred to keep flight details private until last minute (which is not at all implausible as he has expressed discomfort with stalking/wanting to keep his "off work" time private), and (c) as BOC has tweeted there appear to be confidential details being kept re: his work schedule and it's likely some sort of other extra work he's doing beyond the released event schedule, that they'll want to keep under wraps until the opportune time to publish it. On (c) this is a normal thing that happens! Projects may fall through hence details aren't released until finalized and sometimes that's right before the actual release of whatever it is!

Not to mention there's a real indication here as well that BBB's event contract includes their preparation process which is likely why BOC approved the flight send-off. Largely for the optics as it's going to be filmed.

Or the fact where people alleged the release of Mile's WanDay was orchestrated to specifically make Mile and Apo "fight" on the hashtag charts or whatever, since it was filmed around August, but. This is wild to me how people don't realize it takes time to edit footage, and they were in the thick of preparing for KPWT Phase 1 which is probably why they're only releasing longer footage now (the Mafia Kindergarten eps are 15mins long at most, quicker to churn out), and they may have had it queued in even before Apo's event schedule was confirmed. But it's insane to assume they chose this date to "war" with Apo's schedule or hashtag trending.

Which also makes me uncomfortable how much policing goes into what the fans have to be doing to "be a fan." Like. Fans are allowed to not trend hashtags, or choose to consume content at a later time, or maybe even choose what activity to keep up with at a certain time. Why are people fighting over "how to be a fan" and calling each other fake for only committing to trend for one person or whatever. It's unrealistic. People have varying attention spans and interests, let them be. Let them have their fan experience as they want it. Hashtag trending is one aspect and should be a fun thing to do, not something weaponized at this point.

Like. I am not a company stan and I do not want to be one, but assuming malice right out of the gate is so wild when you could just. Wait for more details, or clarify things. Anything but jumping straight into "must defend" mode when no one is being attacked. Coveting and comparing is not something I expected to see in a fandom for actors, who all will get very different opportunities anyway according to their branding and preferences.

And I know BOC also instigated a lot of this as well with their past unprofessionalism but they have recently actually been taking steps in the right direction. They're becoming more transparent, responding more quickly (they postponed Mile's WanDay vlog as soon as the fan feedback rolled in), and accommodating fan requests where applicable. It is definitely not perfect, but I'm uncomfortable with the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" gut reactions people are continuing to have.

Look, I'm not saying they don't deserve criticism. But maybe recognize we don't know all the details behind the scenes, and there is a good reason for that (contracts! confidentiality clauses!). Also work to remove yourself from a cycle of assuming the worst because it can literally fuck up your reactions so much that you get mad over the seemingly innocuous, harmless things.

Remember, the KP cast are very much social media aware. They see everything happening in real time (👀 Mile), don't put them between a rock (BOC, the company they will work with indefinitely and have personal stakes in) and a hard place (their fans, whom they're all so grateful for and are trying their damnedest to please).

TL;DR Life is 100x better when you wait and seek out more information rather than assuming malice at every turn.

[king-minyard]

as a reminder, when you leave your house, you're agreeing to a social contract to respect the people around you. this means:

you won't start a fight out of nowhere, and they won't start shit with you for no reason ("punch nazis" falls under this; nazis are actively promoting hate and so it is a provoked and deserved attack).

you won't expose your private life to strangers, and they won't do that to you (for example: streaking, telling others very personal details, or initiating intimate conversation without consent).

you won't be rude to them, and they won't be rude to you (for example: talking to someone in a queue is fine if you know them, but if you're blocking the way, getting loud, or holding up the line because of it, it's rude to everyone else).

there's a few other things, but the gist is: don't be an asshole to everyone else. I don't care if your friends think you're funny.

this also applies to using your phone in public.

if your phone is making loud noises and you aren't wearing headphones, you're being rude.

if you need to make a phone call, do it outside or away from others - that's your personal life, and we don't want to hear it.

if you are holding up a queue or blocking people's way because of it, you're being rude.

[mcmxciv-ahsiad]

am i the only person that thinks it’s inherently wild to give up ur name for a person? if u absolutely must alter indentities when u get married both parties should just add the other’s name?

[enetarch]

Integrity

Integrity is the social contract you hold with others on what you will do and how you will conduct yourself when no one is watching.

[liskantope]

Failure modes of determinist goggles

Failure modes of determinist goggles

[Content note: more free will / responsibility stuff, because apparently I never get sick of it.  Contains some qualifications on points I made last time which hopefully won’t be taken as defenses of what I criticized before.] Now it’s the other side’s turn. My last post was a diatribe of sorts against the societal values that I’m afraid free-will-leaning outlook on life will lead to (see…

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[cryoverkiltmilk]

Me: *asks somehow how they are, not because I care, but out of social convention*

Them: Fine, thanks. *doesn't ask back*

Me: ...