RE: the post I just reblogged about how bullies will single out victims for having neurdivergent traits but will rarely if ever come right out and say "I bullied you because you're neurdivergent", they'll just say it's because you were too weird and eccentric (no matter how harmless that weirdness and eccentricity is)
I don't want to derail a post specifically about being neurdivergent, so I'm going to go ahead and make this its own post. But, I have been having a lot of thoughts lately on how the same thing can be said of being a survivor of abuse makes you vulnerable to more bullying and abuse.
I've lurked in subreddits for bullying victims to talk about their experiences, and there's almost always comments saying things to the victims like "bullies probably always sniff you out because you're quiet and withdrawn and act afraid of other people" "bullies sniff you out because when they raise their voice to you or say something mean you flinch and freeze up instead of standing up for yourself" "bullies sniff you out because they can tell from your body language that you have low self esteem and low self worth so they take that as you being an easy target"
Gee, I wonder what sort of life experience could make someone withdrawn, afraid of other people, flinching and freezing when someone is mean or raises their voice at them, and also lowers this person's self esteem and self worth 🤔🤔🤔
Just like in the last post I reblogged where they said it's unlikely for a bully to come right out and say "I picked this victim because they're autistic", instead they'd say "it's because this person is weird and eccentric", if you were to ask a bully who is targeting a survivor of domestic violence why they picked that target it's unlikely they'd come right out and say "I'm bullying them for being a victim of domestic violence", they would deny that much and probably don't even realize (or care) that their victim is a survivor of abuse. But that doesn't change the fact that they were drawn to this particular target because of traits the victim acquired as a result of enduring abuse.
And sure, especially with therapy you can rebuild your self esteem after abuse, and learn to control your trauma responses better so you're not walking around with a target on your back all day for bullies to come and get you. However, that can take years of healing, probably needing the help of a professional to get that far. Call me a crazy radical or whatever but if someone has already endured abuse they don't deserve to endure years more of bullying until they've healed enough, especially when bullying is likely to stunt or even stop the healing process altogether.
