Reasons.
Never had anyone to help defend me against society. And from that I forced myself to hide my true personality and to avoid what makes me truly happy. Which is being my ole' naturale feminine self. Growing up in a school community where I was bullied from second grade until graduation and never having officials or teachers so much as care can take and make a LARGE impact on a persons mental state and frankly their personality. From this happening to me the world has become full of one type of person in my mental: cynical, judgmental people and people who only want to see me fail at this game called life. Even my family is seen in this way. As of now I don't know how to grow or evolve into a world where I can trust people or just not think of the world at large as a negative place filled with billions of negative people. Now I don't put this blog out in hopes of getting responses of people willing to support or defend me, because my mental state is depleted and the reversal of the damage done isn't very possible in my opinion. Just thanks for reading and listening it feels good not to bottle up everything I think/feel all the time.