Series Summary: A community based in a small town south of Jackson call upon Tommy to warn him of rogue raiders. But when Joel stumbles upon you, a beacon in the cestpool, his protective side sparks, along with a friendship, and now, he will do anything to get you out of there.
Summary: Tommy and Joel head back to Kostroma to somber news and you’re offered out by Nikandr.
Warnings: NonCon relationships. Forced pregnancies. Dark themes. Reader is a forced marriage. Readers described as curvy, scar on her cheek. Talk of being infertile. TW: Talk of death from childbirth. Reader nurses. Alcohol consumption. Misunderstandings. We think Joel is a knob for the tiniest bit. Soft!Joel. Jackson!Joel. Usual clicker/infected violence. Gun use. Death by mercy. Talk of reader being collared/offered for free use/making good out of a bad situation.
The afternoon sun of Jackson was a hot one. Every man and his mother were out helping with the fences-a small herd of runners broke through the west wall, destroying a few buildings and killing a two residents.
Joel wiped his brows then took a swig of his flask. “We can’t over work everyone Tommy, they’ll get fuckin heatstroke.” Tommy gestured for the flask. “Yeah you’re right-foundation and ground work are what’s important and that’s done, we’ll carry on tomorrow.” He hands back the drink, and whistles for everyone’s attention. “Listen up! We’re done for the day. Check in your hours with Trish over there and take the rest of the day off.” There were a few little cheers and ‘thank god’s’ as everyone went in different directions-Tommy pats Joel on the back. “Come on brother. We’ve earned a drink.”
And of course The Bison was packed. “There-,” Tommy points at a table near the back. “You go sit, I’ll get the drinks.” Three drinks later.. “oh-heard from Nik earlier, he was on one of his routine patrols and thought he’d check up on us while he was in range.” It perked up Joel a little-it’s been a month since the visit meeting Nik-since meeting you. He hated that there was no word only when someone felt like it. He kinda hoped for another stress call.
“They said they’ve had no sighting or anything peculiar. Nothing to write home about.” Joel played with his glass, “that’s good s’pose” not taking his eyes from it.
Tommy smirked at his brother, at his somber mood. “Gotta go back there in a couple of days. Some trading. Usually guns, ammo.” Tommy hesitated, making his brother wait, “—wanna come with me? I’m sure a certain someone would be pleased to see you again.” He nudged Joel donning a big smirk. “—talking about Nik of course.” Joel let out a huff of a laugh.
“Ah Joel I know you like her but she’s—ya know?”
“Nah it’s not like that-she’s funny, made being there bearable.” Tommy downs his drink. “It’s okay to say ya like her but ya gotta get it through your head—she’s a lost cause.”
“Ah knock it off, I’ve already told you-.” Tommy nabs his brothers gaze, “yeah ya have-but I know you too fuckin well. I know the lengths you’ve gone through for others. But she can’t be saved-not unless you want a fuckin war—or you could offer something for her time.” The last part was a joke, Tommy huffed out. “Nah I shouldn’t say that-shes a good woman.” You were, a decent one. A woman who chooses peace when she has the excuse of violence to tear the world apart.
When Joel turned up at Tommys place he heard shouting and little Benji crying, he hurried up the porch and let himself in.
“—you’re being ridiculous, Tommy-I can handle myself.” Maria stood tall-so confident in front of Tommy, they both see Joel enter the room. “Joel tell her what the place is like—the prison-tell her what it’s like.”
Joel knows ALL too well to get involved in a couples argument but if she’s thinking of going there.. “Maria no-you can’t go there. No way.”
She gets all huffy, adjusting Benji on her hip, “why, because I’m a woman?” The brothers both say yes and she just rolls her eyes. “Unbelievable.”
Joel took a step further into the room. “Maria, the place isn’t like Jackson. It’s harsh there. I mean, did you hear about the fuckin brains we had for breakfast-he just got shot, right next to a pregnant woman. You shouldn’t go. And besides, there’s no way you’d keep your gob shut. You’d get killed before we even got into the place.”
She laughed because he’s not wrong. Maria has a tendency to step in whether folks wanted her to or not, say what’s on her mind and will do anything to fix a problem-stubbornly ruthless. “Yeah alright damn it but, I really wanna meet her-Lav-see how she and the others live ya know. He’s trying to knock them up but do they have good health care?” Joel and Tommy both laugh at her adorable worries. “Nik loves them to death my love, so they’re taken care of.” Tommy assured her as he ran a hand down benjis back. “I promise, one day you’ll get to meet Lav, Lil and Daisy. Maybe rub off on them a little, huh?” He nudged her arm. “Show’em how to be tough and strong.” Maria smiles shyly as she adjusted Benji, “okay okay.”
So a few days later, Tommy and Joel packed up all the supplies and a ton of women’s products courtesy of Maria and headed out. The air was still, quiet.
As they approached, the smell and smoke of the place lingered by, but it was too quiet. When they got nearer to the guards check in, the men around were talking in hushed tones-even the dogs were quiet. One of the guards recognised Tommy and greeted him with a soft smile, total contrast to his size and usual presence. “Hey Tommy. Just dismount for me and head straight through yeah. No loud talking, and keep ya horses under control.” Tommys nods and ushered the group to follow him.
As they walked past the tents and other raiders, they were all somber, Joel nudged Tommy, “wonder what’s going on?” Tommy shrugs.
The place was still a mess but the courtyard looked purposely cleaned up, Joel noticed as he neared to entrance that the hanging bodies were gone replaced with flower garlands that dangled loose in the wind. The entrance doors opened with a small click and Big Billy appeared. “Hey Tommy-Joel—,” his usual larger than life demeanour was gone, instead there stood a timid giant. “-cmon in.” Tommy pulled on his arm, “hey Bill what’s going on? We don’t need to leave our guns and stuff behind?” Bill waved it off, “nah not this time, come in.”
As they head through the foyer they hear low singing coming from the lounge, Baby of mine. Little one when you play. Pay no heed to what they say. Let your eyes sparkle and shine. Never a tear. Baby of mine. You’re standing there facing the fireplace, no shirt and bra-less, nursing a small baby, swaying left to right. You stop singing when you hear Bill announce that Tommy and Joel were here, you didn’t turn around-just gave a little wave over the shoulder as you carried on singing.
Bill does a small cough to get the guys attention, “come on let’s head up.” Joel looks over his shoulder trying to get a quick glimpse of you as he heads up the stairs, he does and your face is just-sad. Tommy asks low if they should head back home, Bill quickly reassures him that they’re wanted here, “it’s business as usual, my man.” He takes them into Nikandrs office, he offers drinks all around. The windows and mirrors are covered up with sheets, there’s one candle lit in the room, Bill parks his bum on Niks desk, switching a lamp on. “Here’s the thing guys. You saw the baby right? Well-Lily passed away.. giving birth. Too much blood too fuckin fast.” Joel’s stomach dropped as did Tommys. He spoke first. “I-I dont even know what the fuck to say. Fuck, Lily—when?” Bill stood up from the desk and walks over patting Tommys back gently.
“I know, man. Still can’t believe it. Er it was—ten days ago. She said her stomach was hurting her but no one paid attention cause it’s-pregnancy ya know. But Lav looked after her as much as she could, then the waters broke, we kept watch then there was just blood everywhere-basically, she passed out from blood loss and died in her sleep. I guess that’s fuckin something.” The man was on the verge of crying. “Anyway, Nik will be along soon to talk business just have patience-he’s a wreck.” And speak of the devil, Nik came through the double doors, blood shot eyes, his clothes disheveled. “Ah boys, welcome-forgive my look, been a bad time here yes?” He nods to Bill who gives him a small nod back. “They’re caught up, Boss.”
“Good O.” He heads over to the desk and slouches into the chair. “So guys. Let’s talk trading.”
The meeting went on for over an hour, Nik excused himself a few times he always looked like he was on the verge of crying. As they wrapped it up, “So fellas—you stay the night yes-was fun last time. Apart from Peter but mud under the bridge.” Tommy stood and walked over placing his glass down with a soft thud, “water under the bridge Nik and yeah—we loved to stay. But we’re gonna help out okay?” Nik stood up and hugged Tommy, “you’re a good man, ma boy. Okay—so same deal, bunker room, dining room for supper. Walk where you please I’ll be sure to tell the men ahead-so no trouble.”
After the guys settled they went for a wander round but was told to be on alert, there was still a traitor living here and with what’s happened-someone may take advantage of the vulnerability of the place. They headed round to the south side of the prison, sitting on a bench in a garden, large men checking in every so often. The next thing they hear is a soft voice calling them, “you guys here?” Your head pops around a corner and against your chest is the new baby girl. You’re all sunshine as you cradle her head, moving torward to them. “Hey guys-sorry I didn’t say hi properly was er-busy.” They both look to the little dark haired beauty. “Someone’s a greedy-guts, aren’t they?” You talk to the baby, her eyes are wide open.
“Guys-this Imogen—Imogen, this is Tommy and Joel-give’em a gargle to say hello—nothin… so rude.” Tommy takes a few steps towards you, “well howdy Little Lady. I’m Tommy, the handsome brother.” He leans over the baby and hugs you gently, “I’m so sorry about Lil.” He pulls away careful not to touch the baby, “still can’t believe it.”
You adjust her, carefully cradling her small head, “I know. It happened just-so fast. She wasn’t in pain at the end, thank god, said her body felt numb and that she was tired then—.” You took a pause to fight back the tears, “even this one’s fuckin screaming couldn’t wake her up—could it, baby girl?-no.” You gave a huff which could pass off as a laugh. “Wanna hold her?” Tommy was right in there, baby fever kicking in. “Gimme gimme.” You carefully pass over the baby, he cradles her head then rests her tiny body along his forearm. She’s a dot. “Oh my god she looks so tiny in your arms.” He sways the baby back and forth, “God you’re gorgeous-aw baby girl when you’re older, we will tell you all about your mama-she was a lovely woman. Absolutely stunning.”
“Oh Tommy will you knock it off.” Tears have rolled down your cheeks before you could try and cover them up. After the small laughs settle, Joel comes closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder “how ya doin, darlin?” You give a small smile, “yeah been better. I’m just so fucking tired—.”
Tommy interrupts, clearly not paying attention, “So Imogen, huh? Where’s that name come from.” You run your hand over the baby’s tiny head, “it was Lil’s name—her real name. Just felt right to name her after her mommy” Tommy does a slow understanding nod, “pretty name for a pretty little girl, huh little one? Imogen.” He says to get it familiar on his tongue. Joel declined a hold of the baby-you didn’t question it, and Tommy was clearly not ready to hand her over just yet anyway.
You walk back to the prison, swaying the baby a little, “so, foods nearly ready—the guys prepared it this time so I can only apologise in advance,” you laugh out, “they tried their best.” As you all step up to the double doors, Niks there waiting. “Ah there she is- bundle of joy. Papa wants her,” He’s reaching for the baby as you step closer, passing her over blatantly avoiding his gaze. “How she been, buttercup?”
“Fine.” You say flatly. You make sure he has her securely in his arms then you stormed off to the kitchen not looking back. Nik sighs defeatedly, summoning the brothers inside. “Oh baba girly. God I want to eat you up nom nom nom. She a beauty or what fellas?” They both nod. “It a good job she look like her mama and not this old fool, huh babygirl?” Nik says to the baby, laughing to Joel and Tommy, then his face slowly drops. “Did, Misery guts in there tell you what happened to Lil? She hate me now, but I-I am a fool as I just admit. What does a fool like me know huh?” His words tremble and his eyes start to fill up. “Ah fuck papa is silly huh babagirl? I take you to siblings yes-they miss you.” Tommy almost forgot about Lily’s two other children-one of them was just a toddler. Nik rubs away his tears and straightens himself up. “You guys go through, I take Imogen to Daisy and little ones.”
The brothers walk through and you’re at the head of the table surrounded by a bunch of guards telling them a funny story. “—and the chicken pooped in her lap.” The volume from them was overbearing-they could wake the dead. “Fuckin hell, Lav.” One of them wiped away a few tears pinching at his stomach. It wasn’t that funny but they’re all in need of a laugh, so-. Tommy shouts over, “what’s so funny?” The other guys spread out-some disappearing to the kitchen, others for duty-murmuring as they go.
“I was just tellin them a story about a time my friend travelled across India and a chicken got a bit er-horny around her. I mean she was like 20 and gorgeous so could you blame it?—come, sit.” Tommy walked his way over to the table to sit by you, Joel trailed behind, wondering where to side, until you patted the chair next to you. “Park here, Cowboy.” He dips his head to hide the soft pink working its way to his cheeks.
Tommy draws your attention away, “so-you okay? You and him a’right?” You sigh, “well.. I fuckin hate his guts right now, so no—the night Lil died.. I told him that she was in pain but he told me it’s just the pregnancy-pain is normal and you’re being ridiculous. But she was—my god, the screams out of her.. it wasn’t normal, I told him I needed to have like-a proper look but we were on lockdown.. he was just-so stubborn, wouldn’t let me get help.” You carried on, playing with the hem of your shirt. “I know it was important to make sure the baby was okay but he wouldn’t let me focus on Lil, so she just died. So yeah, fuck him”
“Ah, sweetheart I don’t know what to say-Nik can be an ass.. don’t tell him I said that but—I dont know what to say.” You shrug your shoulders, “nothing to say—just gotta get over it I suppose, what else can I do? Anyway cmon, let’s cheer up. How’s Maria-tell me what’s been happening in Jackson?”
“Got a few knocked up horses.” Joel started. “Due soon.” You laugh out and Tommy interrupts, “Anyway-yeah Maria’s good. She really wants to meet yer. She wanted to come here-.” You grab his arm, “oh god no Tommy, she can’t come here. Don’t ever let her.” He reassured that she’s not allowed-not in the controlling sense just, for safety. “I had Joel to back me up—god imagine her here.” They both laugh. “Well from what I’ve heard, yeah she’d be trouble here” you laugh out.
The fire crackles low, steady, filling the room with that warm, dry heat that makes your eyes a little heavy and your shoulders loosen without you noticing. Candlelight flickers across the table, you sit between them, elbows resting on the table, turning over what’s supposed to be a baked potato. “I know they tried their best but Jesus—” you laugh, suddenly pulling something from your mouth and holding it up between your fingers. “This is a baked potato. How is there a bone in there?” Tommy leans over, squinting at it before letting out a short laugh. “Ain’t no way.. oh my god that’s an actual fuckin bone.” You place it on the edge of your plate, “god, ya think they’re trying to kill me?” The three of you laugh and you carry on eating, suspiciously checking over every bite.
The three of you fall into that easy rhythm-talking over each other, picking at the food, trading stories like you’ve done it a hundred times before. Tommy’s halfway through telling you about a patrol mishap involving a broken fence and a very angry goat when you snort into your cup, nearly spilling it. “I’m serious!” he insists, pointing his fork at you. “Thing had it out for me.”
“Maybe it didn’t like the look of ya?” you shoot back. Joel huffs a quiet laugh into his plate.“Unbelievable,” Tommy mutters, but he’s grinning too. It shifts after that-quieter, softer. The fire settles, the candles burn lower. Conversation slows into something more thoughtful. Joel leans back in his chair, eyes on you in that steady way of his, “what were you like at school?” he asks, voice rough but gentle. You blink at him, a little surprised. “That’s random.”
“Humour me. Bet you were a nerd”
You smile, leaning back slightly. “Aaand what if I was? I wasn’t nerdy nerd just smart and a smart ass. And I was loud-not like obnoxious loud just.. always talking. Always laughing.” Tommy nods like he can picture it. Joel just watches. “You have some wild fashion phase or somethin” he adds after a second. You laugh softly, “Oh, definitely. One phase of only wearing orange, one phase I dressed like a goth but then as I got older, I thought I was very cool.. band tees, ripped jeans, big boots I couldn’t walk in properly I looked awesome.” Before either of them can respond, the door creaks open.
A woman steps inside, looking sheepish. “Hey—sorry.. Daisy needs you upstairs.” .. “Now?”
“She asked for you, the baby’s not latching.” You sigh lightly but push your chair back. “Duty calls, I guess. Sorry guys.” Tommy gives you a small salute with his fork, “give the kids a hug from me.” Joel doesn’t say much-just gives you a short nod, eyes lingering a second longer than necessary. And then you’re gone, the door shutting behind you with a soft thud, letting a draft of cold air sweep briefly through the room before the fire swallows it again.
Silence settles in your place.
Tommy watches him for a moment, something knowing in his expression, but he doesn’t push. “I can imagine her all like that in high school. Bet her school picture was gorgeous.” Joel takes the last bite of his food, “yeah I bet she really was a nerd though.” Tommy exhales and glances toward the door. “What d’you reckon.. give it another hour before callin it a night?” Joel shrugs slightly. “Maybe.” The door opens again before anything else can be said, Nik steps in—tall in the way that makes the room shift just slightly. Tommy straightens a bit. Joel’s gaze lifts, giving Nik a small nod. “Fellas..” he looks between them, then further into the room like he expects to see someone else. “.. she just stepped out,” Tommy says, casual. He nods once, the fire crackles on.
The conversation went from trading business to how many women they’ve fucked. “My tolly-tally? Is thirty-seven. Was a very popular man in my twenties—before world went to shit. At one time- I had four girls on the go. Never found out about each other. I was such a dog.” In this sense, Nik was superior to Joel and Tommy. “Erm, I’ve slept with five women.” Tommy admitted. Nik does a small nod, “you don’t seem like a fucker-like a—player, more like a lover.. and what about you Joel?” Nik leans back in the chair and takes a sip of his drink. “Handsome man like you. Bet there was pussy just lining up for you, huh? Even at Jackson too?”
Quickly kinda changing the subject. “I had a partner before Jackson, we were together for years.” Nik nods slowly, “I hear ya brother. Before Lil, before Lav—I had a woman, Rose. Love of my life. Met her during this shitshow and after she died-so did my heart but I found those beautiful women and they er spark up my life.” He takes another sip of his drink, “maybe while you here—you wet er your whistle? That the words? Ha, well brother, many women here.” Tommy feels like Nik is going to aim the offer at him so he stands, “just gonna go the bathroom.” They watch him leave, then Nik turns his gaze to Joel.
“You know, my Buttercup—she’s very popular with the men” he pauses as Joel stills taking a swig of his drink. “Oh yes-I know it’s not er-nice to offer her out but it all pays in the end. One time years back-,” he covers his mouth, trying to stifle his laugh, “a bunch of guys came by-met them once, but they had a new guy with them, young-a virgin. Told him to have a walk around the place…pick out a woman ya know and who do you think he picked?” Joel just shrugged but he clearly knew who. “My buttercup! Of all the fuckin women we have here. Oh I found it so funny.” Joel didn’t hear any joke but gave him a little laugh anyway.
“So anyway she fuck him and he came so quick she say-barely got his dick in her, and just boop, came faster than lightning.” He roared out. “Well anyway, after him I think-men like her, they may give me a good trade for her time. What they do with her is up to them.”
Joel frowned and leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. “Why you tellin me all this, Nik?” Nik was looking down but his eyes dart up when Joel spoke. “Cmon brother, I’m not a fool-she talks about you a lot-and Tommy but he’s got a wife, and you? Well you always eye fuck her, brother-,” he grabs Joel’s arm in a reassuring way as Joel goes to protest, “it okay. I don’t love it but she a flower, she beautiful. And look at the fuckin world we live in huh? If a donkey and a bear can fuck, why can’t two strangers who like each other a little too much, huh?” He slaps Joel’s back-Joel had no fucking idea what that meant. “I leave you to think about it and she-could use a break.” He arched a brow with a little smirk and left the room.
The concrete steps are cold even through your jeans, the night settling in thick around you with prison looming behind you-quiet for once with just the wind slipping through with the low murmur of distant voices. You take a drag of your joint, watching the smoke curl up into the dark, the doors creaks open behind you.
Slow, familiar footsteps. “You plannin on sittin out here all night?” You don’t turn straight away, just tilt your head a little. “Depends who’s askin.” That earns a soft huff, Joel steps down beside you, easing himself onto the step with a quiet grunt. He glances at the joint between your fingers.
“Want some?” You dared him. He hesitates-just for a second, like he’s weighing out his options. Then a small, almost reluctant smile tugs at his mouth, “Ah.. hell. Why not?” He takes it, bringing it to his lips-two slow pulls. You watch intensely with a small smile. On the second, his face tightens just a fraction—he turns his head, coughing once, rough but controlled then he cleared his throat, handing it back like nothing happened. “Been awhile,” he says.
You hum softly, taking it back, letting the silence settle for a moment then Joel nudges your shoulder a little, “I’m sorry about Lil,” he says, voice quieter now. “Sorry I didn’t say it earlier.” You nod, eyes fixed ahead, “thanks.. yeah, she was a lovely woman.” You take another drag, slower this time. “She was here before me, ya know? Yeah—Nik had his first wife, Rose, then Lil.. then me. And now Daisy.” Your voice trails just slightly before you push on. “I couldn’t give him kids but Nik said he liked me. Said he wanted me around so..” You shrug one shoulder. “She was still his number one, despite what people say about me.”
Joel doesn’t interrupt, he just sits there beside you, solid and quiet, like he knows that’s what you need. You exhale, smoke drifting between you both, “Where’s Tommy?” Joel leans back on his hands, stretching his legs out with a soft sigh-more relaxed than annoyed, for once. “He’s playin cards with some of the guys upstairs,” he says. “Just left him to it.”
The wind moves through again, softer this time. Somewhere in the distance, someone laughs—but it fades quick, like folks remember. The raiders are still on a silent lockdown, out of respect for Lily.
Joel glances at you from the corner of his eye. Doesn’t say anything else. Just bumps your shoulder again, lighter this time. “What’s going on in that head of yours huh, buttercup?” He mimics Niks accent on the nickname making you shudder. “Eww don’t call me that-ugh.” You both laugh out. But he nudges you again, “but no-cmon wanna talk about anything?”
“No. Not really, I mean I’m sad obviously but I dunno, I havent really had the chance to mourn her properly, ya know that big sob that tears from the soul—been looking after the little one since she—.”
“—ugh I just need a vacation to a beach somewhere—have a lie down, not needed for anything or by anyone. Maybe have a few cute boys around to perv at—the usual vacation stuff.”
“Sure—if ya into that sorta stuff.” He didnt look up, just stared at his feet.
“Okay, well maybe not boys but—some good old fashioned, rugged men. The ones who grunt everytime they move—more along those lines?”
“Didn’t your dad always say you can trust older men?”
“…touché… okay well how about you? What would your dream vacay be?” You rest your chin on your palm-elbow at your knee, waiting. You were genuinely interested-what type of vacay man was Joel Miller?
“Well, Sun for sure-any excuse to wear my speedos—joke. But yeah a beach, beers and pretty young women fanning me down with those big leaves.”
You scrunch your face, clearly unsatisfied with his answer, “Pretty young women fanning you?..ew”
“See-see. That’s how I felt when you mentioned those cute boys.”
You shrug one shoulder, “well if that’s what you’re into. Lotta young things chasing after you in Jackson?” Joel smirked, he wanted to lighten the mood with a tease. “Well now that ya mention it, there is a young lady waiting for me back home.”
You involuntarily raised an eye brow, “oh?” It was small, like a little tone of disappointment. Joel noticed, but carried on. “Oh yeah, her names Chrissy, she’s smart-about twenty-seven.. real pretty. Blonde, tall”
“Oh right” is all you can say, like a final declaration. “Well—if that’s your, sorta thing-I’m happy for ya. Maybe she can punch out a few kids for ya, huh?” Your tone was clipped, Joel looked around like, where did the teasing go as you stood abruptly, wiping dirt off your ass and before he could tell you it was a joke, you stood above him with your tired eyes, “sorry just leave ya like this but I need to go get some sleep-I’ll see ya around, Joel.” He didn’t like the way you said his name, like he was an asshole who you couldn’t get away from fast enough. Then it dawned on Joel-you were fuckin jealous-he wasn’t smug about it but yeah, you were jealous. Didn’t help that he talked about a model woman chasing after him. “Shit.”
Morning came and Joel hadn’t seen your usual busy self around. Tommy was hungover to hell. “My god, those guys can drink.” They were met by Daisy when they first came downstairs. She was average height, a little on the slim side-jet black hair. The last time Joel was here, Nik wasn’t pleased with her wifely performance. He raped her essentially and complained that she cried all the way through it. But it seems she’s adjusted to Niks ways, his obedient little wife. Wife number two, now. And it seems that she’s been given her vocal privileges. “Hello guys, follow me to the dining room. Niks sorry he couldn’t be here but he’s got-work to do. If you need anything just give me a holler.” she left the brothers to it, they had all the food to themselves-seconds if they wanted.
It was mid afternoon when they finally met up with Nik. “Sorry fellas about this morning, had some lovey time with Lavender then went on a small patrol.” The brothers didn’t need to be told the details-Joel didn’t. “Fair enough.” Tommy said quickly, moving past the awkwardness. “Anything unusual or all ok?”
“All good my chap. I also tell Jackson by radio that you stay another night, really feel that you’re not getting your visits worth and I been so MIA, not a good host am i? So you stay!” It wasn’t up for discussion but the brothers thought, free food, free booze-why not. “And also, we go on a run—a mall, buried under all sorts. We couldnt go in-did not have the man power but we ride out-a few hours then come back. What you say, Miller brothers?” 
Nik mounted his horse in the courtyard, Joel and Tommy follow suit as do the other five guards coming along. “It’s over an hour away and it good weather yes? So it be easy peasy.” They all gear themselves ready, the five other men trot ahead getting the all clear at the guard post, Niks looking around, Tommy and Joel don’t know whether to stay or go. “You okay, Nik?”
He looks back to the brothers, “yes just waiting- ah here they are.” You and Daisy step through the double doors, daisys clutching the baby to her chest and you’re holding one of Lilys other children, steadying Daisy down the steps. “Ah four of my five favourite petals.” He leans down as far as he can to give you all a kiss on the cheek. He was hesitant with you but you allowed it, also telling him to be careful. He cradled the baby’s little head, “goodbye my petal, daddy come back soon—maybe with gifts huh?” He smirks at you and Daisy hoping to get brownie points. “Well he better, hadn’t he babas?” Daisy muttered, he huffs and leans back up. “Look after each other okay and Lav—sleep.” You give him a small nod as you walk over to Tommy and Joel-“hey guys, have a safe run huh—oh this is Dahlia, say hi Doll.” She gives a sheepishly little wave to the brothers and then shoves her face into your chest, peeping out every so often. “This is one of Lilys little babas-she turned two a month ago—a fucking handful.” You whisper the last part but not low enough as Dahlia snaps her head up. “Aaaaw you said a naughty word, Buttercup-I’m tellin.” You cover her mouth quickly-gently, “hey you, what did i tell you about ratting people out?” She playfully swats away your hand giggling loud, “ok ok I shush.” You roll your eyes trying to control this little Tasmanian devil. Tommy and Joel laugh from above on their horses.
“Wow. Got your work cut out with this huh”
You look up to Joel who’s watching the wriggly toddler. “Yeah no shit.” You joke back. “Nearly pulled my back earlier-little madam aren’t ya?—Well I’ve gotta get this one down for a nap so you guys take care, and I’ll see yas later.” You wrestled with the little mite as you walked away, Nik trotting up next to them. “I don’t know what demon that kid come from but Jesus-never still. Anyway-one brothers, let’s ride.”
After they passed all the rusted tanks, piled up cars-it became a really luminous place, away from the smoke, smell of decay. They stop for a piss break. “I told you fellas not to drink before we ride off but you know better, right? Pah!”
Nik swung down from his horse, pulling it along before tying it to a nearby tree. He stretched out his limbs, joints cracking one after another letting out a low groan. “Fuckin hell.. I’m gonna break a bone one day. Old bones, huh, fellas?” They knew that feeling all too well-aging, how everything stiffened, how the body didn’t quite move like it used to. Nik wandered over and dropped into a makeshift seat beside them-a setup of old chairs and salvaged car cushions scattered around. “So, brothers,” he began, settling in, “we hang out tonight, yes? You and me. Few drinks, talk about life.. love. Be a good night. Me and Tommy can talk-about the future of our communities, maybe.” Tommy glanced at him, then at Joel. “And Joel, yeah?”Nik took a slow sip from his flask. “Yeah, sure.. Joel’ll be there too.” He paused, then smirked. “Or maybe not, huh?” He shot Joel a knowing look as he screwed the lid back on his flask, pushed himself up and walked off.
“Will you guys hurry up and piss already-or are you all fuckin’?” he called out, laughing loudly. The brothers shook their heads, laughing along, but Joel could already feel Tommy’s eyes on him. He knew exactly what was coming.
“So—what the hell was that about?”
Joel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Nik was the kind of man who’d blurt it out anyway-probably turn it into a joke while he was at it. “He.. kinda suggested I spend a night-with Lavender.”
Tommy’s brows shot up. “And why would he suggest that?” Joel shrugged, uneasy. “Don’t know.”
“That kind of offer don’t just come outta nowhere,” Tommy pressed. “Did he catch you two doin somethin?” Joel shot him a look. “What? No. When the fuck would we have had time to—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “That’s beside the point. You told me she’s spoken for, so that’s that.” Tommy didn’t look convinced. “Bullshit. He’s probably seen the way you look at her, calling her those darlins. I get it, but you three haven’t even been around each other that much. And in that short time, he’s picked up on it?” he scoffed. “Come on, Joel.”
Tommy stood, huffing under his breath. “You’re not actually gonna do it, are ya? Like-pay for her time?!”
“Course I’m not,” Joel snapped back, “and it was his fuckin idea.” He jerked his thumb toward Nikandr, who’s now gathering the other men. “Anyway..” Joel muttered, quieter now. “I wouldnt have to sleep with her. She doesn’t always have to fuck every guy who buys her time.”
“And that makes it any better? Fuck off.” He runs a hand through his hair, “so what did you offer? How much she worth?” Joel didn’t understand what the big deal was, he wasnt going to do anything but Tommy was so riled up he was clenching his fists, so Joel let him finish. “She’s been nothing but fuckin nice to us—like beyond fuckin nice to us and you little her down to a fuckin payment. I expect it from him,” he looks over to Nik, who signals the brothers over, “but from you. Fuckin joke.” He takes the reins of his horse, pulling it along and walks over to Nik and the other men. Joel stands, knees cracking, back aching. He leaves Tommy to it, let him cool down cause once again the little Miller has made something outta nothing.
Tommy kept his distance from Joel the whole way, only closing in once the abandoned mall loomed up outta the dead streets—glass blown out, doors hanging, the place picked over a hundred times over. Nik spoke the second they stepped inside, his voice carried easy in the hollow space. “Tommy, my boy—you go with Trav and Buck, sweep the east side. Erik, you got Troy and Alec—west. The rest of us will push straight through.” He glanced at Joel, a crooked smile pulling at his mouth. “Need the big guns up front, yes?” He knocked his shoulder into Joels.
“Guys, an hour,” Nik went on. “Grab what you can and if it goes bad—radio. And.. no sticky fingers.” A couple of the men chuckled, but it didn’t land soft, nobody here was dumb enough to think he was joking.
They split up quick, boots crunching over glass, voices dropping low as each group went off into the dark. Up ahead, Nik and Bill started talking—low. Prison talk-Security. Who’s slipping, who ain’t-the same shit, different day. Joel hung back, rifle up but loose in his grip, eyes moving-corners, shadows. Always something waiting if you got careless. Footsteps slowed beside him. “So.. I’ve heard about you.”
Caleb, a young man-cocky. Joel didn’t look at him straight away, just flicked his eyes over. “Yeah?”
“Bill says you used to run with raiders. Back when all this kicked off.” Joel’s jaw ticked a little. “Weren’t no raider—hunter.”
The man snorted, like that didn’t mean much different. “Sure, Pops. Whatever you say.” Joel didn’t rise to it. Just watched him walk ahead, walking beside Nik and Bill like he belonged there. He didn’t have to prove shit to that guy. His grip tightened on his gun and walked slower-still watching the shadows.
The little light that slipped through the broken skylights, came in thin, the rest sat thick with shadow. Joel slowed at the entrance of a corridor, lifting a hand, Nik nearly walked into him. “What is it, Miller?” Joel didn’t answer straight away, his eyes studied the floor-dust, smeared tracks. Not clean, ragged and uneven.. And recent.
He crouched, fingers brushing the ground. “Something’s been through here,” he muttered low. Bill shifted, already tense. “How many ya reckon?” Joel shook his head once. “Don’t know.”
Then.. A sound, low and wet, followed by a sharp, broken click that echoed down the corridor. Everyone stilled. Another click answered it-Closer.
Nik’s voice dropped. “.. Infected.” Joel was already moving, bringing his rifle up slow. “Yeah.” A shape came from the far end of the hall-then another. Figures pulled from the dark, twitching, jerking—runners, and fuckin fast and behind them, something worse stepped into the light, its head split open, fungus spread wide. A Clicker.
Joel’s voice came low, sharp. “Back up, quiet—”
Too late-one of the runners let out a strangled screech and bolted, everything broke at once.
Gunfire was loud through the corridor. A runner dropped mid-run, but the others didn’t slow-just came at them harder. Joel fired once, twice—clean shots but there were closing the distance too fast. “Spread out!” Bill yelled out.
The clicker shrieked-high and rushed forward with terrifying speed. Joel moved on instinct, bolting to the side just as a runner jump at him. It slammed into a counter instead, Joel turned, put a round through its skull, then ran—
The clicker was already on them.
“Down!” Joel shouted, grabbing Nik and dragging him back. The monster smashed into the pillar where he’d been standing a second before. Nik stumbled, cursing. “Jesus—!”
Another runner wrestled Caleb knocking him hard to the ground. He shouted to Joel, struggling as it clawed at him. Joel aimed his gun but the creature was overbearing the man. He let out a yell, then a shot rang out, dropping the runner clean.
Joel’s head snapped toward it. Then, a whistle.
For a split second, everything blurred into noise—gunfire, snarls, the sharp, echoing clicks bouncing off the walls—
Tommys boots pounded from the far end of the corridor. “Joel!” Tommy and his group came in fast from the east side, rifles up, eyes wide as they took in the chaos. “Infected!” Trav shouted, like it weren’t already obvious.
“Yeah, no shit!” Bill snapped back, firing again.
Tommy didn’t slow. He raised his rifle and dropped a runner mid-sprint, then swung toward the clicker just as it turned, drawn by the fresh noise—Tommy caught it with a quick shot, barely missing a beat.
Then everything just went still, for a second, nobody moved. Then the last runner let out a broken cry and rushed—straight into Buck’s line of fire. Then it was just the ringing aftermath of gunfire and the sound of breathing—too loud in the empty space. Joel kept his rifle up a moment longer, listening for another click buried in the dark.
Nothing came. “Clear?” Tommy asked, voice lower now. Bill exhaled. “Yeah looks clear.” Nik let out a shaky laugh, wiping sweat from his brow. “I think I would of preferred the idea of raiders.”
“Yeah,” Trav muttered. Joel finally lowered his weapon, but his eyes didn’t stop moving. Tommy stepped closer, looking him over. “You good?” Joel gave a short nod. “Yeah fine.” Tommy glanced at the bodies, blood, the mess of it—then back to Joel. “Good job, big brother.” Joel shrugged.
The group started pulling themselves back together—checking gear, muttering, dragging bodies out of the way. Joel adjusted his grip on the rifle, already looking ahead into the dark again. “Hour ain’t up,” he said. “We keep moving, or we leave empty.” Nik hesitated—then nodded, looking impressed. “Yes. We move on. As you were, fellas.” Tommy lingered a second longer before stepping in beside Joel this time. They didn’t find much. A few cans—dented but sealed. Some cloth, clothes, batteries, a half-busted toolkit Nik insisted was still worth taking back. It wasn’t enough to make the trip feel worth it, but enough that nobody complained out loud.
By the time they regrouped near the entrance, the light outside had shifted—duller, colder. Late afternoon bearing over them. “Load up,” Nik said. “We head back-make it back by nightfall.” No one argued.
The walk out was quieter than the way in. No chatter now. Just boots over broken ground. Every shadow felt like it might move if you looked too long, once they were a good distance from the mall, the tension eased—but not much.
“Quick stop,” Bill muttered. “Piss, stretch, eat—whatever you need to do.”
Men split off without talking, Joel moved off to the side, keeping his rifle close. Habit. Nik made the call to camp a few hours—rest before pushing through until the evening came. Didn’t take much to set up, few took turns keeping watch, Nik started a small, controlled fire tucked low where it wouldn’t throw too much light. Packs dropped-it should’ve felt like relief.
It didn’t. Something was up and Joel noticed it before anyone said a word. Caleb.
He was sitting a little off from the others, back against a crumbling wall. Head slouched, breathing wrong. Not tired but off. Joel’s eyes narrowed slightly.
“Hey,” someone called. “You good?” Caleb didn’t answer right away. Then he looked up, something in his face had shifted-skin pale, eyes unfocused like he was looking past them instead of at them.“..I’m fine,” he said, but it came out rough and shaky.
Joel was already moving, “lemme see,” he said. Caleb tensed immediately. “I said I’m—” Joel grabbed his arm, rough and pulled back the sleeve. And there it was. The bite. Angry, wet and already darkening at the edges-exactly like the one that ended Tess’ life. For a second, nobody spoke, then the shit hit the fan.
“Shit—”
“He’s bit—!”
“Back up—back the fuck up!”
Guns came up fast, Caleb scrambled, panic flashing across his face now. “No, no, listen—”
“Get away from him!” Trav barked, stepping forward. Joel didn’t move. His grip tightened just slightly before he let go, stepping back on his own terms. His jaw worked, eyes fixed on the wound like he could undo it just by looking hard enough.
Too slow. He’d been too slow.
Nik stepped in then, voice cutting sharp through the noise. “Enough!” It snapped the group still, then Nik crouched in front of Caleb, steady, controlled, waiting for the answer to his unspoken question. Caleb swallowed hard, eyes flicking between the guns pointed at him. “Mall,” he said rough. “That runner—when it took me down-and he didn’t act fast enough.” Caleb’s breathing hitched, as he looked to Joel then back at Nik—he really looked at him now, fear sitting plain in his eyes.
“I don’t wanna turn,” he said. “Please.” Silence settled heavy, But nobody lowered their weapon. One of the men shifted, tightening his grip. “I’ll do it—”
“I said enough,” Nik cut in again, quieter this time. Caleb’s voice broke. “Just.. don’t let me turn into one of those things.”
Joel still hadn’t said a word. His gaze stayed on Caleb, something dark behind his eyes. Guilt sat there, buried deep but solid. He knew the moment. Knew exactly when it had happened, and he’d missed it.
Nik stood slowly. “Move,” he said. “Now.” A few of the men stared at him. “You serious—?” Nik didn’t look back. “I said move.” That was it. They packed up fast, faster than before. Nobody wanted to stay—not with that hanging over them.
Caleb didn’t fight, he didn’t run, he just sat there as they gathered their things, breathing uneven, eyes distant like he was already halfway gone. Joel was the last to turn away, for a second, it looked like he might say something. He didn’t. They started moving again, quiet. Tighter than before. No one talking. They’d barely made it past the edge of the buildings when—a single gunshot cracked through the air behind them.
Nobody stopped. A few seconds later, Nik stepped out from behind one of the crumbling walls, pistol already lowering as he slid it back into his holster, he caught up with the group without a word. Joel glanced at him once, Nik didn’t meet his eye.
The ride back to the prison was dead silent, just the sound of hooves and the weight of what happened following them the way home. When they near the first bunch of guards-they become at ease when they saw it was Nik and the group, one stretches his neck to look among them, “where’s Cal?”
“Dead.” Nik said it stern and final as he goes past.
He hands over his reins to one of his men, doesn’t say a word-just walks up the steps the prison and goes in. You’re standing in the living room, holding Dahlia-the little bitch won’t go to sleep. “Nik-hey. How was it?” He walks over, cradles the toddlers head and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “We lost Caleb—fuckin infected. Joel didn’t act fast enough and Caleb? Well—.”
You weren’t particularly fond of Caleb, but to Nik, he was like a little brother. “Whoa whoa—hush honey-,” you try and soothe a fidgety babygirl. “—what you mean he didn’t act fast enough?”
“Cal—got attacked, Joel didn’t shoot fast enough and the rest is—I killed him myself, he didn’t want to turn. I feel awful.” He looks over to you, still trying to contain the beautiful little mite. “Here, pass her.”
“Hey babagirl, why so restless huh?” She sits comfortably on his hip and plays with one of the buttons on his jacket. “I want Mama”
Your heart sank, and from the look of Niks face-his did too. “Ah my little petal, mama not here anymore-remember? She—up in the clouds with her mama and God and all those angels.”
It doesn’t matter how much you distract kids from the sadness of what’s happened-they always feel that loss of safety. Lilys kids love you and Daisy but it’s never going to be the same. “The others are right behind me. I don’t know what mood they’re in—there any food for them?”
“Yeah, enough. I’ll go er reheat it all.” Nik takes your hand before you step away. “Did you sleep? Did you rest at all?” He rolls his eyes as your face says it all. “There was stuff to do-and no one does it right. So I’ll rest and sleep later, okay?”
Nik huffs out of his nose, obviously annoyed you went against his wishes. “You want to be collared, huh?” He adjusts the child on his hip, lowering his voice. “—if that what it takes for you to be fuckin still for five minutes, I’ll do it—I don’t care how pissed off you will be. I own you, Buttercup. What I say-goes.” Of course you don’t want to be fucking collared. It’s torture. Just you, in a cramped room, literally collared to the wall. You have to stand the whole time in there, no food or water for three days. You can cry, yell, scream the place down but no one will come to help you. You hate how that’s always his go to with you. You’re a stubborn one.
He pinches the bridge of his nose, huffing again. “Sorry, Buttercup.. but you need to rest. I won’t collar you, forget I say it. You’re the best one, my brave one. I need you to be strong for me.” He cups your chin, making you look at him. “I need you to be available for someone later.” You pinch your brows, ready to ask. “You don’t need to know details. Just be in your room at nine, okay, buttercup?” You hold the hand that resting on your chin, slowly pulling it away-locking hands with him.
“Okay.”
Tommy, Joel and the rest of the men scattered when they entered the courtyard. Some went into the prison, some went to talk to other guards. Joel and Tommy went inside and headed up to the bunker room. Waiting for them on the other spare beds-spread out, were mountains of guns, ammo-fucking grenades, and on top was a note from you. From Nik, for your time on the run. Lavender x
They didn’t get anything from the actual run, so this made up for it they thought. They went from bed to bed-inspecting the guns, counting the bullets, Niks been very generous. “Don’t know how the hell we’re suppose to get this lot back to Jackson.” He laughed, “Jesus-look at it all.” As he goes to pick up a grenade, there’s a few knocks on the door. “Hey Millers. Okay to come in?” Your voice sounded low against the wood. Tommy walks over, opening the door. “Hey, Sweetheart. Come in.” His smile is always so welcoming, it’s so infectious. “Just coming to see how you guys are. Heard all about-what happened.. If it makes you feel any better, Joel—Caleb was an absolute prick.” You raise a brow with question. It did help a little as his mouth twitched to the side. Good.
“So whadda you guys think of your payday?” You smile at them. “Tried to pick the good stuff for you but they’ll notice eventually and it ain’t worth the punishment, sorry guys.” It’s a joke sure, but it’s true you would get punished. “The grenades are dodgy I will say. Was gonna sneak a rocket launcher for you but it’s Bills favourite so—.” You just give a shrug.
“Yeah it’s er—a lot.” Tommy says, nudging your arm. “A little too much—I feel like there’s a catch here.” You play with the trigger of one of the guns, not looking at the brothers. Tommy steps closer, “what? Is there a catch?” He whispers like someone’s listening outside. “Weeeelllll, Nik does want to a word with both of you. I don’t know what about before you ask. He just said to go and join him on the balcony for drinks and cigars. I’ve gotta take you there whenever you’re ready.”
Tommy agrees, “yeah, could go for a drink. Gonna jump in the shower first. Tell him I’ll be there.” He closes the door behind him, leaving you and Joel standing there awkwardly. You look Joel over slowly, your voice dropping. “You alright?” you ask, tiredness heavy in your eyes. He feels a flicker of guilt for laying this on you.
“I wasn’t fuckin’ fast enough—I couldn’t get a shot.”
“Well, which is it?” He frowns, brows pinching together. “What d’you mean?”
“Were you too slow, or couldn’t you get a clean shot? There’s a difference.”
“There ain’t.”
“No—there is. If you couldn’t get a good shot, then he was shit outta luck. But if you were slow, then…” You shrug lightly. “So which was it?” Joel might be getting older, but he’s still fast—still sharp. Caleb had just been in the damn way. “.. still,” he mutters, quieter now, “I feel bad.” You give his arm a small nudge, “well I’m sure a few drinks will help. Niks broke out the good stuff—he’ll be tipsy by the time you guys get there, I’ll come back in fifteen—give you time to do whatever-men do to get ready-I don’t know.” You both laugh then awkwardly then stand there. “Well-yeah I need to leave in order for you to change so—yeah. Fifteen minutes okay?” You turn on your heel and leave, awkwardly. Turning your gaze away as Joel starts to unbutton his shirt. “Yeah-so—yeah.”… you illiterate fool.
You weren’t wrong about Nik, he was gone by the time you escorted the brothers to the balcony. He had some smidge of awareness but his accent was thick. “My bruderrrrs! Come-sit-drunk with me.” Tommy heads to the seat next to Nik, red suede-looks like a throne. Joel takes the one near the edge of the balcony but doesn’t sit at first. “So Nik, here’s your cargo—delivered safe and sound, job done.” You take a pause to ask, “ So am I still?—”
He tirelessly stood up and swayed over to you, knocking into everything, you brace yourself for his breath and yes-as he hugs you he smells like he’s drenched in whiskey. “My buttercup, thank you for bringin them to me and yes you’re still needed at nine. Wear what you like, do what comes natural.” You pull away to look at him, he’s got the slanted smirk, “same deal-all night, okay buttercup?”
What were you gonna do? Say no to him? “Um-okay.”
“You have ooo—over an hour to get yourself ready.” He gives your ass a smack, and sends you on your way. He laughs as he walks over back to his chair, still walking like Bambi. “That woman, I swear, just too good for me-too damn good for this stinkin world.”
Tommy swirls his drink around, the ice clanking to the side, “ya know my missus, Maria, really wants to meet her-and Daisy. Even wanted to come here.” Nik darted his attention to you. “Are you crazy? I’d love it if she did come-but Jesus Christ-no.” Wait until Tommy gets back to Jackson and he tells Maria, hey even the leader of the place doesn’t think it’s a good idea.
“Maybe one day she and Daisy go to Jackson.. one day.”
For a brief window, Nik had been pouring drink after drink into Tommy until the man finally crashed out, slumped in his chair. Now, drunk himself, Nik staggered over to the balcony, looming far too close over Joel—close enough that Joel had to tilt his head back just to look at him. The man had no sense of personal space. “Joel.. my brother…” Nik slurred, squinting down at his watch like it might steady him. “I—look after Thomas, yeah? Give him some sugar when he wakes. Perk him up a notch.” He waved a loose hand. “You-you go to, er… Lavender.”
Joel’s eyes narrowed, glaring up at him as Nik swayed, barely able to keep his lids open. “I let you have time with her,” Nik went on, words tangling together. “She—good fuck, but—but—” He held up his hands quickly as Joel stiffened, ready to snap. “You don’t have to. If I’m honest, Joel.. she need rest. If I book her out, she can’t help no one—orders are orders and rules are rules. Daisy—even me—we cant interrupt. Always been the way.”
Joel just shook his head, disbelief written plain across his face, like the whole thing had to be some kind of bad joke. “Joel..brother…” Nik’s voice softened, almost pleading. “If you want to, you can-shes yours. If you don’t.. at least you’ll help her stay put, yeah? Make her rest.” He gave a crooked grin. “Besides, you two talk so much boring stuff, you’ll send her asleep anyway.” He barked out a laugh, loud and sudden, making Tommy twitch and mumble in his sleep.
Joel stared at Nik like he’d lost his mind entirely.
“Why you getting so worked up, brother?” Nik added with a careless shrug. “You can spend the night talking…or spend it between her legs. Up to you. All innocent.” Joel stands making Nik step back a few steps. “How can you talk about her like that? She’s your wife.” … “who you want to fuck. You either gay or blind if you didn’t. She understands this is the way of her life here. Gotta earn your keep, yes?”
Nik turned to head inside. “She’ll be ready in her room for nine. If you’re still here, I bring food up for us. If you’re gone—” he smirked, “—I’ll tell Tommy you went for a walk.” With that, he slipped beneath the netted drapes hanging over the doorway and disappeared inside, leaving Joel alone on the balcony—with a passed-out Tommy and a decision weighing heavy on his shoulders. He sat back down, running his hands through his hair, sighing heavy.
When Nik returned, he carried a tray of all types of food—mashed potato, chicken legs-wings. Even all sorts of fruits. Tommy has just woken up, rubbing his temples, “what the hell was in that drink, Nik?” He just laughed as he placed the tray down. “Ah you’ll be fine, brother. Just have some food and water and you be right as a clam.” Tommy rolled his eyes, not bothering to correct Nik and his stupid phrase. “Hey, where’s Joel at?” Nik took a long pause, biting into an apple—big smirk on his face. “Went for a walk.”
Joel stood in front of your door—light grey, with a lavender flower painted neatly across the wood. He lingered there for a few seconds, though it felt longer.
“I’ll explain straight off—no sex. I’m not here for that,” he muttered under his breath, already rehearsing. “Nik said it was to help you rest. I’m here to help you relax-not relax.. settle. Mellow out.” He exhaled, jaw tightening. “I can take the couch, if you’ve got one. We can just talk. Or you can sleep—hell, I won’t bother you at all if that’s what you want..but I gotta be here”
The words kept coming, tripping over each other in his head, before he could talk himself out of it, Joel lifted his hand and knocked. Once, twice—light at first. Nothing.
He waited, then knocked again, firmer this time. Still nothing. His stomach dropped, nerves twisting tight. After a beat, he reached for the handle and with a soft click, he opened the door with ease and stepped inside. You were on the bed, facing away—lying on your stomach, feet swaying in the air, chin resting on your palm as you flipped through a book or magazine he couldn’t quite make out. You haven’t heard him come in.
He gave an awkward cough, saying your name, and only then did he catch the faint sound of music drifting from your headphones. A soft laugh escaped him, but it quickly faded. The moment you realise it was him you have to entertain—not some other guy, you might look at him differently. Maybe with disgust. Maybe you’d think less of him.
Joel had never seen this much of you before. Usually, you stuck to jeans and shirts, maybe a sweater thrown over the top but this was different. Your shorts were—short, revealing the soft curves of your body, the gentle dips of your hips. They stood in contrast to the huge sweater you were wearing, the fabric swallowing you whole, making you look smaller-almost like you were drowning in it.
He stood still. He could just turn around—leave. No one was forcing him to stay. No gun to his head. But his feet wouldn’t move.
And that’s when Joel turned, reaching back to close the door behind him. It clicked softly into place, sealing the room off from the rest of the world. Outside, the low hum of voices and distant movement carried on, unaware-unbothered.
Inside, whatever passed between you and him—was yours alone.
Unseen and unspoken by anyone else.
@umadirectioner @saralovesjoelmiller
