Ok so I’ve noticed this common dynamic in the steddie fandom where someone, like Steve uses Love as an excuse to not take care of himself.
Example A
“I love the kids so much that I’m willing to give up all of my personal time, and mental well being to make sure they are safe and happy.”
But I raise you
“I love them so much that they are almost the only reason why I take care of myself, even if that means putting boundaries between us so that I can be my better self.”
Which is why I wrote a small Drabble underneath the see all :)
Steve huffs as he just wants to curl back up into a ball, in the middle of the bed and stay in Eddie’s arms for the rest of the day. He wants to close his eyes and just sleep all of his worries away, he wants to fall into that soft ache in his bones that tell him to do nothing. Or that buzz in the back of his brain that’s been there for years now, telling him to roll back over and give up. But what he wants is not important. What was important, was they way he rolls himself over mustering all the energy he had just to look at Eddie Munson’s face.
Mouth slightly open, drool dribbling out into a small puddle on the pillow. His own curls sticking to the pillow above and in the damp spot. Steve can’t explain it. How he feels like Eddie is his sun and Steve is a simple sunflower. Sucking in all of the others energy for his nutrients and well being.
Smiling softly Steve traces the others face, letting his body prepare for flight as he moves getting out of bed. Using Eddie’s face as his driving force into showering. Reminding himself that today was going to be good, as Eddie was going to be in it. He uses the other to force himself to put his shoes on and go for a light jog. Not enough to sweat. Reminding himself that if it turns into a bad day that Eddie will be standing right there to brighten the grey with his smile. Then as he’s making breakfast, forcing himself to drink water even though he was fine. He reminds himself that this was all for Eddie.
How was he supposed to love him if he wasn’t physically or mentally okay? If he wasn’t willing to stop fighting to hard to the point he physically couldn’t move, or if he wasn’t willing to fight hard enough when his brain pulled tricks then how was he supposed to love Eddie as authentically as possible.
And as those dark grey thoughts simmer into his brain, like always Eddie’s there. Arms wrapping around his waist and popping his head in his favorite spot of his shoulder.
“Love you,”
And just like that everything was worth it, and Steve was right back on track.
