Some Thoughts on Exploration
We added this comment when we reposted a meme about a couple looking at another guy's larger endowment and each thinking about her experiencing someone different (larger) but afraid to tell each other. The point of the meme is to go ahead and share with each other what you are thinking and fantasizing about. We put enough thought into our response that we decided it is worth its own post from us. Even if we are the only ones reading it, it is good to be able to look back at where we are today:
Our first conversation wasn't exactly as overt as this, but it felt as impactful, given our conservative backgrounds. We would never have been hanging out nude with her arms around another guy :). But it did start at a French beach and there were a few nude people, and we both noticed the other noticing and started joking with each other about two guys near us who we nicknamed Grand et Petit.
This Tumblr has been a great way for us to share with each other what excites us. The open honesty has been the best part, but we have also found ways to pursue some fantasies within the boundaries we are comfortable with. We can both be very open knowing that just because we say or post something that is intriguing or arousing doesn't mean we are committed to doing it. It gives us a lot to gently explore, though, which has been really wonderful. Once or twice we've gone a little further or faster than intended, but we've been able to pull back before going too far. For us it is important to maintain trust and communication and to not force the other (unless we have agreed to be forced in a dare or forfeits game or some light BDSM with safe word, of course)...
We have really enjoyed truth/dare and strip poker and other games, and our current exploring on our relatively tame frontier is same-room sex (or at least sexual activity), when we aren't "forced to" by a game forfeit. There are so many variations of this and so many interesting ways to try to meet people who are willing, but it is weirdly harder for us to explore this than it is to play a game and seemingly be spontaneously "forced" to do something. Partly because in a game you can set explicit boundaries in advance. Without the structure of a game, this gets complicated. Our particular rule at the moment is that it has to be someone we meet naturally and develop a friendship with and trust. Which makes the whole couples seduction so fascinating...
There is actually, I think, some parallel with how to broach interests to spouse (fearing consequences of letting desires be known) and how to broach things with another couple. We have found a little booze and a half-joking "Let's play Truth or Dare" (with a lot of uncertainty about what it may involve) is much easier to get started than getting into same-room sex scenarios without the pretext of a game to get things loosened up...