Contrary to popular belief, Lucius wasn’t stupid. Anxious, introverted, unconventional, maybe, but not stupid. He was also intensely committed to his own survival. It was why he’d mastered Occlumency at a young age, why he spent countless hours practicing defensive spells to combat dark magic and dark creatures.
But the patronus charm was something he’d never been able to master. It thrived on happiness, on positive memories, and in his whole life Lucius had never made one of those. At least, not one strong enough to fuel the charm. Apparently the memory had to be happier than “My father died, hooray!”
His stance shifted again and he stretched out his wand arm, rolling his neck and working through the ache beginning to set in his shoulder. He’d been in the garden for almost an hour now, trying and failing for the fifth time that month.
He closed his eyes again, and he summoned an image of Narcissa in her wedding gown. That day he’d been so filled with anxiety he wound up running away after the vows were done, and having a panic-attack in the garden, but now he could look back on it not with fear but fondness. He hadn’t understood then what a blessing it was, she was.
But the memory of their wedding wasn’t enough, and produced only a thin sheen of silver mist, which quickly evaporated in the noonday sun.
Focus, Lucius. He had to get this right. He was a coward through and through but where Narcissa was concerned he knew he had to be strong. Strong enough to keep her out of Death Eater business, away from the Dark Lord, away from the whole bloody war. And if anything ever happened, if the Dark Lord failed, he needed to be sure he could protect them in a different world. That he could face all of the creatures whose side he was supposed to share.
That was all that mattered to him; preserving himself, preserving his family.
This time he brought to mind Narcissa at the ceilidh. She’d been shining, of course she had; it was her birthday, and she was pregnant, and she was wearing the tiara he’d bought her as a present, and when she drew him against her to dance her eyes had shone with fondness. She was the best thing in his life, the best thing. He knew what happiness felt like because of her.
The feeling swelled in his chest, warmth and light and certainty.
“Expecto Patronum.”
It felt different this time. The feeling overwhelmed, rising like a tide until it burst from his wand in a cloud of silver that took-
That took form?
When Lucius opened his eyes he wasn’t looking at a silver shield but a glowing silver peacock, its fan tail unfurled, nearly identical to the dozen or so that had roamed around the garden since he was a child.
A shocked laugh burst from his throat, bubbling up like liquid sunshine, foreign and beautiful. The peacock danced around him, incandescent, happiness incarnate, all the light of Narcissa’s love shining from its eyes.
“I did it,” he breathed, staring at the creature with awe. “I-I did it? Narcissa!”
Last he’d checked she was sunbathing on the terrace- she’d be able to hear him from here, yes? He hadn’t wanted to go too far, he just hadn’t wanted an audience for his continued failures.
“Narcissa, I did it!” he cried, racing back toward the terrace, the peacock slipping through the air next to him. He couldn’t wait to show her.
