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Book shikamaru (having his second anxiety attack of the day): Okay. here's the plan. we sneak in. we steal rich people clothes. we walk around like assholes in this tiny village where all the rich people are probably recognizable by face. It's the perfect diguise. Anime Shikamaru: Ughh, okay, here, I went through the trouble of getting us registered as traveling coal vendors. shut up Soku I don't CARE that grey washes you out.
Did you know there's 7 cat-masked Konoha Anbu Kunoichi?
Yugao Uzuki (left), Gazeru (middle), Hinoto (right), Komachi (mid left), Soku (mid middle), Kagura (mid right), Unnamed Root Cat (bottom)
Shikamaru: what would happen to temari without me….. Soku, taking notes on her form with the keenest eye imaginable, already in love with this random woman from suna: I think she's good actually. like really good. much better then you. like. ACTUALLY. who IS she? Shikamaru: what? no, I- I could take her. Temari, yelling cause it's REALLY loud right now: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF THE DOZENS OF MEN FALLEN OVER BEGGING FOR MERCY AROUND ME, BUT I CAN SENSE YOU TALKING SHIT SHIKAMRU, YOU WANNA GO? I DON'T CARE THAT I JUST FUCKING SAVED YOU, I'LL DRAG YOUR LIMP BODY BACK TO YOUR CRAZY KAGE IF I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE OUT OF LINE AGAIN, AFTER I CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOUR BULLSHIT- Shikamaru, suddenly scared for his life: *panics and takes out gengo so they can get the fuck outta there* Temari: NOW WAS THAT REALLY SO FUCKING HARD. HE'S LITERALLY JUST A GUY!!! Soku: *heart eyes*
So….At the end of his book Shikamaru nods at Soku, and she knows somehow he means to, like, stab gengos tongue instead of…..kill him? that thing she was HIRED to do??? HELLO
LIKE. if Yano had ACTUALLY been commited to the 'shikamaru struggles over assassination' plot point. Soku was a GENIUS character to put on his team. imagine a better universe where Shikamaru has an actual BREAKDOWN after failing the assassination attempt once and being forced to retreat and try again, because he just wants this mission OVER, he just wants to NEVER think about it again, he wants to NOT get this icky feeling planning an assassination, like a coward that can't fight his own battles cause that's how he THINKS of assassination.
And he actually lowkey freaks out and turns to Ro and Soku like 'how do you do this. Literally HOW are you okay with just assassinating people. like I've been trying to make peace with it for weeks now and I just can't' and they both. stare at him a little confused.
Hey Kakashi. Come here. Sit down. what the FUCK is wrong with you. why is Soku in ANBU. she graduated either DURING the war or immediately following it. I would try and say maybe she graduated early and this is actually partially Danzo's fault, have her as one of the last root recruits still in rehabilitation or something...but NO because you said that you, Kakashi, recruited her. Which means. one of the FIRST things you did as hokage was headhunt a 12 year old to be an ASSASSIN. during peace time!!! KAKASHI.
Ro: but you get that like....obviously Soku was exagerating for effect and would never ACTUALLY dessert the village but like....that frustration doesn't come form no where. you had her use her ACTUAL gripes with the village to make it more authentic. How did you know she wouldn't actually kill us? Shikamaru: oh, you fool. I abide by the Naruto Uzumaki principle of The Power of Teamwork and Friendship. I also, as NOT an ANBU and a clan heir who's basically never even had to work outside my gennin team and/or close friends, have never been betrayed lmao. I'mma keep it real bestie I did not even THINK about a 14 year old girl outsmarting me. Soku, appearing behind him: you're fucking stupid. maybe I SHOULD kill you
aww……Soku has Levi Jordan syndrome…..She says that she doesn't kill needlessly and she doesn't LIKE killing, but as a child soilder her concept of 'needlessly' is WILDLY skewed. She doesn't kill needlessly, BUT her first response to every problem is to kill it, because that's all she's been taught to do. why don't we just kill all the guards. why don't we just kill the witness. why don't we just burn the evil town down and never think about it again. Alexa play Army Dreamers by kate bush
