#soliloquy.

[spicycurry]

Mundo real.

いつも何一つだって変わらずに、誰かに手を繋いでもらって、離した手を忘れられずに意味の分からない事をしてばかりいて、早寝早起きだってできないで、好きな人に好きって伝える事すら出来なくて、それなのに愛とか生とか言葉にしようとして、雨とか晴れとかに左右されて、こんなにちっぽけで、私よりお花達の方が綺麗で、私より猫の方が愛され方を知っていて、私より春の方が誰かを困らせて、私よりパズルの方が帰る場所を知っていて、私より貴方の方が生きるのが上手で。私は早く全てを解読し終えて言語化してしまって、全てに意味を見付けて終わらせてしまいたいのに、残念ながら宇宙の大きさはまだ分からないし、居住可能な星も分からないし、月極の読み方だって最近知ったし、全然何だって出来ない。最近は、ハッピーエンド以外が好き。回収されない伏線が好き、私と同じだから。

[spicycurry]

息が詰まるからほんの少しだけ窓を開けて風を通す、香水を首元に振って寝床につく、どんな自分なら許せるだろう。

[gladiusknight]

"A list for Wintersend? You make such lists for Wintersend?" "Uh-- Yes, Ser. It may contain things such as asking a person to smile or um, toasts and jellied ham." "So a list for odd requests? This sounds ridiculous." "Yes, I mean, no, Commander. I'm sure you'll come up with something. Lady Josephine would need them by tomorrow." "Well tell her I refuse." "By tomorrow, Commander." After the doors had closed behind Carol, one of the couriers, Cullen sat alone in his desk, obscured by the sunlight that reflected against his armor. He glanced down at the spread of polished oak, and his vision quickly lost their focus under a sea of papers and half-opened scrolls. Clearing his throat, he picked up a pen and a sheet of paper. He stared at it for a long while, his mind swimming in thoughts between asking a person to smile and toasts and jellied ham... 

For Cassandra to partake in the morning drills. Please stop asking. Craft more shields as part of Iron Bull's training exercises. We can't afford to lose any for our men's use. Reminders posted that says not to jump over the wall walks, addressed to the Inquisitor. Josephine, the coat was fine and I liked it. You may now stop sending one of Leliana's spies to take my measurements.  Thicker armor, cold resistant preferably, for all our soldiers. Boar stew and butter cookies for everyone to share. A brigade of Griffons.

He sighed, folding the paper in half, "I don't know why I'm bothering..."