#solo;projectorigin

[lgcseul]

➜ PROJECT ORIGIN 001   ┆   PARK ISEUL   ✧･ﾟ  THURSDAY RECORDING

iseul loves singing, though maybe not as much as dancing. but, practising his parts for the legacy boys songs, though tough at first, was rewarding, considering he felt comfortable in the parts he’d been given. sure, he’d like more lines, but he had to remember he was one of the last minute placements in project origin, not one of the boys who’d been in future dreams, so he had to work for what he wanted, since he had yet to prove himself as much. 

so, when it comes time to record his parts for ‘thursday’ a song which he personally liked a lot, he wasn’t so much nervous as excited. when he’d gone in to record his lines for miroh, of which there were few, he’d been so scared it’d taken about ten minutes for his hands to stop shaking and for him to feel comfortable in the recording booth. 

now, two songs later he felt far more at ease in the little booth, the producer on the other side of the glass giving him the cue to begin singing. it takes a few tries, as he gets a feel for what the producer wants, and where he wants bits louder, or more powerful, or quieter and softer. it doesn’t take much longer than when he’d recorded for miroh and round 2, despite him having more parts in this song. 

he comes out of the booth with his parts recorded and a smile on his face, feeling as though he’d finally done something right. he’d been feeling discouraged after struggling with recording the other two songs, and had been wondering whether he’d ever get it right, but finally it seemed he’d practised enough for something. 

he’s still a little jealous of the boys getting to do boss, as he’d watched them practising and loved the song, but he’d learnt the dance for it in between practising the other dances he needed to practise, just for fun. thursday, though a calm song and not one he’d usually like a lot, was one he actually enjoyed singing, although he didn’t sing much of it. it was a sort of laid back song, so he hoped his energetic self had done it well. 

[lgcseul]

➜ PROJECT ORIGIN 001   ┆   PARK ISEUL   ✧･ﾟ  MUSICAL PRACTISE

[ tw // dieting ] 

iseul had never done musical theatre type performances before, which made this entire thing an incredible challenge. singing and dancing and acting on stage in a musical theatre sense was far different to simply performing songs on stage. there were different techniques used and a different way of holding yourself, not to mention he needed to stay in character the whole time. sure, performing usually required him to keep ‘in character’ but usually that character was more so just an exaggerated version of himself, which made it easy to do. this, though, seemed harder. 

vocal practise was difficult, even though iseul liked to think he was pretty skilled already in singing. learning more about projection and the different musical theatre techniques he’d need to master, at first, just had him stressed out. but, with time and hard practise, things started to fall into place and the new skills started to mesh into those he already had until it no longer felt so scary and difficult. 

many a night he’d stayed behind after training finished and spent time working on his own until the early hours of the morning. a few times he’d be accompanied by some of the other boys who found themselves needing to put in the extra hours. iseul was pretty sure he’d never been as stressed as he was during the months leading up to the beginning of their schedules. 

he’s standing, staring at himself in the mirror that spans the length of the practise room wall and he begins to wonder if he’s even good enough. he’s been watching his diet since he got picked for project origin, trying to make himself quicker and lighter on his feet, but he’s still not sure if he’s reached the point he needs to get to to be good. it’s difficult, and he feels sort of isolated and lonely. everyone around him is working towards the same dream, the boys he spends every day with all working together and yet he feels like no one can understand how he’s feeling. 

running through all of his parts, and everything he needs to perfect he keeps finding bits he needs to fix. when he fixes one thing he finds something else to fix. sometimes he’ll fix one thing, then try and fix something else, and find out he’s just gone and forgotten to remember to fix the other thing, so he’s continually working through the problems only to keep letting himself slip up. 

it’s infuriating, and most nights he finishes practise dissatisfied and stressed, only going back to the dorm because he knows if he doesn’t get a few hours of sleep before the next day of training then he might as well not go, because his mind and body won’t be up the scratch enough to make the practise meaningful and worthwhile. 

every day is a struggle leading up to their first performance, and iseul never once stops feeling as though he’s not ready, or he’s not good enough, and never will be good enough. feeling lonely all the time only makes it worse, and he wonders if anyone will even care to see him in it, considering he’s got a minor part. no one’s going to notice him, all eyes will be on those with major parts. sure, the minor cast are important, and add depth to the whole thing, but likelihood is he won’t even be remembered after the performances. 

everything weighs heavily on him as he works through the songs over and over again, trying to ignore the stress and uncertainty eating away at him.