#wc:598

[lgcjaesun]

🌟 FUTURE DREAMS -- STAR QUALITY 🌟

star quality. those two words swirled through jaesun’s mind day in and out as he tried to figure out what he might do for this segment. he wants to do something out of the ordinary, but nothing really comes to mind. has he really boxed himself up into only knowing how to sing and dance? he racks his brain for more ideas. he supposes he could host a radio show, but he feels less confident about that.

in the end, he decides on combining two skills together -- two that were easier to combine together rather. he would sing while making kimbap. frankly, this is something that he does rather frequently anyway, and he thinks it might be more fun than to just sing or sing and dance. everyone expects that he can do those things anyway.

but then the next round of decisions comes. what song would he sing? did he go with something upbeat? something slower? it’s unlike jaesun to pick something on the slower end, to be quite honest, but he ends up doing so because he wants to do something that people wouldn’t expect from him. plus, he thinks it would be more impressive to have to sing a song with deeper emotion while making something simple like kimbap, right?

in the end, he decides on lewis capaldi’s someone you loved, and he spends most of his time practicing the stability of his voice while doing other things as well as the emotions. he’s also made way too much kimbap in the span of these few weeks, sending some home to his mother who was shocked that her son had cooked for her. the other went to friends as snacks, though he isn’t really sure if anyone enjoyed it or not.

when the day of the audition arrives, he shows up with his bag of prepared ingredients (the raw ingredients had been pre-cooked since he didn’t want to bring a whole stovetop with him as well). he quickly sets up all of the packaged items on the table and then bows to those on the panel. “hello, i am legacy’s ahn jaesun, and i will be singing and making kimbap for you all today. i hope you’re hungry.” he flashes his signature smile as he moves to the table. he gives a nod of his head and the music starts.

his smile fades as he gets into the mood of the singer. his fingers carefully open up the containers so as to not make too much noise as he’s working. sometimes, he has to remind himself not to work under muscle memory, though to be honest, at this point, making the kimbap feels a bit like so, which is good since it allows him to focus on the song. 

it feels somewhat natural to do this, though he reminds himself to look up at the audience at times just to make sure he was connecting with them and not in his own world. it seems to end faster than when he’s normally practicing, and he sees that he’s finished four rolls, one for each panelist. 

he bows once more when he’s finished and moves to where they’re sitting, setting down some napkins and a roll of kimbap in front of each of them. “it’s okay if you don’t eat them, but if you get hungry, hope you will enjoy.” he steps back and bows once more before rushing back to grab his containers, packing up. it went alright, right? he thinks to himself, only then realizing that his heart was racing in his chest.

[lgcseul]

➜ PROJECT ORIGIN 001   ┆   PARK ISEUL   ✧･ﾟ  MUSICAL PRACTISE

[ tw // dieting ] 

iseul had never done musical theatre type performances before, which made this entire thing an incredible challenge. singing and dancing and acting on stage in a musical theatre sense was far different to simply performing songs on stage. there were different techniques used and a different way of holding yourself, not to mention he needed to stay in character the whole time. sure, performing usually required him to keep ‘in character’ but usually that character was more so just an exaggerated version of himself, which made it easy to do. this, though, seemed harder. 

vocal practise was difficult, even though iseul liked to think he was pretty skilled already in singing. learning more about projection and the different musical theatre techniques he’d need to master, at first, just had him stressed out. but, with time and hard practise, things started to fall into place and the new skills started to mesh into those he already had until it no longer felt so scary and difficult. 

many a night he’d stayed behind after training finished and spent time working on his own until the early hours of the morning. a few times he’d be accompanied by some of the other boys who found themselves needing to put in the extra hours. iseul was pretty sure he’d never been as stressed as he was during the months leading up to the beginning of their schedules. 

he’s standing, staring at himself in the mirror that spans the length of the practise room wall and he begins to wonder if he’s even good enough. he’s been watching his diet since he got picked for project origin, trying to make himself quicker and lighter on his feet, but he’s still not sure if he’s reached the point he needs to get to to be good. it’s difficult, and he feels sort of isolated and lonely. everyone around him is working towards the same dream, the boys he spends every day with all working together and yet he feels like no one can understand how he’s feeling. 

running through all of his parts, and everything he needs to perfect he keeps finding bits he needs to fix. when he fixes one thing he finds something else to fix. sometimes he’ll fix one thing, then try and fix something else, and find out he’s just gone and forgotten to remember to fix the other thing, so he’s continually working through the problems only to keep letting himself slip up. 

it’s infuriating, and most nights he finishes practise dissatisfied and stressed, only going back to the dorm because he knows if he doesn’t get a few hours of sleep before the next day of training then he might as well not go, because his mind and body won’t be up the scratch enough to make the practise meaningful and worthwhile. 

every day is a struggle leading up to their first performance, and iseul never once stops feeling as though he’s not ready, or he’s not good enough, and never will be good enough. feeling lonely all the time only makes it worse, and he wonders if anyone will even care to see him in it, considering he’s got a minor part. no one’s going to notice him, all eyes will be on those with major parts. sure, the minor cast are important, and add depth to the whole thing, but likelihood is he won’t even be remembered after the performances. 

everything weighs heavily on him as he works through the songs over and over again, trying to ignore the stress and uncertainty eating away at him.