TITLE: Soul-mates
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: one-shot
AUTHOR: colifower
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki’s spotify wrapped. Wait, what’s that? They added a musical soulmate in this year’s edition?
RATING: PG
NOTES/WARNINGS: my AO3 version has Tess' spotify wrapped up and some basic mechanics behind the selection of the Soul-mates. I honestly couldn't bother to copy them here so... bon apple titty, as the youths say
"Huh," said Loki, sprawled over Thor's sofa. "Have you seen this?"
Thor peeked over his shoulder and shrugged. "With the ammount of times you've rickrolled me this year it's no wonder it's on your top five. 420 views? Seriously?"
The younger snickered. "I actually rickrolled you 413 times, but I HAD to play it up to 420. I was talking about the music soul-mate feature."
"Oh, yeah! They added the feature this year."
"Here it says it's somebody with the username Space_Stoned_420"
"With that username they need to be somewhat like you."
"I'm intrigued. I think I'm gonna find them."
"What?"
"Aren't you intrigued? Who is your music soul-mate? Show me!"
Thor took his phone out of his pocket and smashed it against the closest wall. Being the heir of a galactic empire meant that he neither had a concept of money nor was he going to start any time soon.
"I only listen to Bears and Beards," said Thor. "So it makes sense that it's Fandral and Hogun's podcast account."
"I thought they stopped uploading after the first wave of negative coments."
Thor shook his head. "They are my friends," he said full of pride. "But I would do anyways, the bear tips are just incredible."
"What do you want them for? Do you have a boyfriend or something?"
"They're not for that kind of bear. Most of the times, at least."
"Do you have a bear, Thor?"
"I like to support local queer artists."
"You have not answered my question."
"What question?"
"Do you have a bear, Thor?"
"Hm...?" said the eldest, walking slowly towards the door.
"Thor."
"...what?"
Loki sighted. Thor kept avoiding the question. He stepped once again towards the exit.
"Thor..." groaned the god of mischief. "Not this again."
"Ok, I can explain..."
Please do."
"...They are an endangered species, so I brought two with me home because here on Asgard polar bears don't have any natural predators and..."
"TWO POLAR BEARS?!"
"It is part of a rescue program. Besides, mom and dad won't even notice..."
"Thor! They hunt people! To eat them! Asgard is not prepared for another one of your experiments in invasive species."
"Yes, well, I..."
Thor sprinted out of the room and down the corridor, Loki followed suit, knife in hand.
Later on, Loki sat on his bed, feet up on the wall, staring at his email inbox. He furrowed his eyebrow. It was spotify alerting him that Spaced_Stoned_420 followed him back on the music platform."
That was the problem, wasn't it? No chat option in the music app. Loki sighted. At least he could give them a follow back. Perhaps even snoop on their playlist, surely their 'music soulmate' would have good taste.
Loki was greeted with a collaborative playlist called 'follow this n00bmaster69', you bitch.
He smiled.
The charm worked wonders on those midgardian mercenaries known as S.H.I.E.L.D. Loki was able to slide right under their noses and into the secured vault. He opened the case, as their instructions told him to. There layed...
"A cube?"
"The sexiest cube in existance ;)"
Loki blushed. The sound of the... being? reverbereated loudly in his head.
"So... Space Stoned 420?"
"You're missing a fiew _, but yes. That's me," continued the cube. "I go by Tess these days. It comes from Tesseract."
"Oh, em... Loki. I mean... I'm n00bmaster69. I think we're spotify soulmates."
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that," said the stone. "My brother has been recently involved with an AI. And by involved I mean intrinsically connected: they share a body."
"I know the kind," said the magician, thinking of his brother's 'hammered dates' where the alcohol and the palm fruits were nowhere to be found.
"Yeah... he's been trying to set me up with increasingly more complicated algorithms. My tinder match called me a bluff for posting 'unrealistic body images'. It's not my fault I'm a powerful and mysterious cube."
"That sucks, bestie."
Tess sighted. "It's difficult out here. More if you look like I do."
"I like it" said Loki. "Unexpected. Uncommon."
"Thank you. It means a lot, it really does."
"So... are you up to a date? I've heard that they sell boba tea here in Algeria. Globalization and all that."
"What doesn 'tea' mean?"
Loki wrinkled his nose. "It's... um... a drink. I think you'll like it." said the somewhat of a man, picking up the stone. He found Tess warm to the touch, and found himself fond of it."
"Hell yeah >:P"
