#solutions?

[dollsmoon]

Guys I smell so bad right now I have been neglecting basic self care I’ve been bedridden I can’t wake up in the mornings i genuinely neeeed to find a solution im the most demotivated low cortisol person ever

[2old4fun]

RP Issues: Feeling left behind or left out

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First thing to do? Take a step back and take a few deep breaths, maybe have a good cry if you need to. I know that in the moment, when the hurt and the fear are front and center, you can feel like lashing out, but don't do that. You need to be able to be objective in this situation, and if you give in to the panic, you can't be objective.

Understand that it's okay to feel what you're feeling. Don't be ashamed of your emotions, but also, don't immediately act on them, either.

Now that you're calm, let's take a look at the situation. What is causing you to feel left out or left behind?

~Is it that your usual writing group have become obsessed with something that holds no interest for you? You have a few options here. You can try and join in, try and develop even a passing interest in order to participate. Or, you can try and wait it out, finding your own things to be involved with, until your group's obsession calms down and they come back around, or that their next obsession is something that actually piques your interest. Be aware that both options run the risk of causing resentment.

:readmore:

~Is it that ships and plots that don't involve you are getting far more attention, while your own are left languishing for weeks and months? This is when it's time to polish up your communication skills, to calmly state your case to your partner/s. Have you done any planning for the given ship? Make sure you are prepared to listen with the intention of working thru issues, rather than with the intention of being proved right.

~ Does it seem like maybe you're being punished for something?

For some real or imagined slight? While such a thing is *unlikely*, I won't say it *never* happens. We're dealing with humans here, and humans get weird about things. This is where communication comes in handy. Maybe you didn't answer "fast enough", or in a way that ran contrary to what your partner wanted, or started a ship with someone who isn't part of your 'core' group; missed a character birthday or any other reason. In this instance, you need to step back and reevaluate whether this is a person/group with whom you really want to be associated. Some things in life have a finite lifespan. I know it's hard, particularly if you have trauma around being abandoned, and it's okay to mourn an ending you didn't really want.

There is a caveat here, and it's something that needs to always be at the front of your awareness:

The people that you RP with are not robots, programmed to respond to you immediately. They are, in fact, real people, with their own IRL hopes and dreams and responsibilities and issues, and all those real-life things take precedence over - and often influence and affect - role play things. They don't *owe* you time and attention, on demand. Role-playing is a hobby, not an obligation.

And sometimes, muse is just fickle. If you've been role-playing for any length of time, you've been there. Sometimes, you only have muse for a certain situation, or a certain character or ship. Sometimes it's a bad-brain day and you can only muster energy for your comfort character/ship.

Most players I know, try really hard to balance things out, but you know when you're forcing it, just phoning it in. And if you're physically ill or just not in the right headspace, it's just not going to happen. Give yourself and your writing partners space and permission to be human and to deal with the human 'stuff' that comes up.

And I understand, it can be hard when you wind up being the one to provide comfort, but don't really get that reciprocated. It happens. Here is where you need to just give everyone some grace. Life is hard, after the 'rona and everything that's happened and is still happening, we've all got some collective trauma to deal with, and that doesn't even touch on prior trauma, mental/emotional/physical issues that *will* affect mood, motivation, and muse.

Remember that you can always give yourself what you need, via fics/drabbles/one-shots with your character. {Side note: do NOT publish anything you may write while using another person's character, without their express consent. Use your own original characters, or canon characters that you like. We'll talk about plagiarism in another post.}

Communication and compassion are always your best bets.

You do have to protect yourself. Most people are good and understanding, but there are also some assholes out there.

Always remember that roleplay is supposed to be for fun and relaxation. If there's ongoing stress, up to and including causing you to lose interest, it's time to step back and figure out the cause, and some solutions that will preferably benefit everyone involved.

Remember, this is a game. It's not worth your well-being.

[serpentinesheldonserpentine]

Bars and restaurants, the causes of, and solutions for all of our problems.

[mokeqveen]

Secret 1: I love taking picture with people but I don’t have many pictures of me with people besides my family cause at some point some asshole made me feel horrible about wanting to take pictures with him and had such an adverse reaction that now I’m afraid to ask.

This was supposed to be short

[drclaudiosaracinodcsworld]

PROBLEMES DES COUPLES ET SOLUTIONS?

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[circularcatinspace]

I NEED SOME HELP!!

What do I do? I’ve looked it up and tried all the possible solutions, but it still says this! How do I fix this?! I’m just not smart enough to figure it out on my own, I would appreciate some advice!! Please? 🥹

—————— Nevermind, I fixed it

[raindjdj]