The painted figurine of a desperate heart. <-- hurt me with your Solas angst
You cannot see it, but I am giving you two looks. One that is mischievous, and one that says, “I hate you and I will kill all that you love.” But, whatever.
I had been contemplating doing this scene for awhile, so HERE YA GO. This is for @dadrunkwriting ! (Also, I fully realize that @veridium-bye may kill me for this scene and to that and I am only half sorry.)
With the major events in Crestwood taken care of, the group was set to leave within the next few days. They were in the keep at Caer Bronch, settling in after a day of battling demons and highwaymen. Adari had gone to the small room at the top of the stairs to talk to the scouts. Anything else that needed their attention needed to be taken care of soon.
Solas stood off to the side of the stairs, waiting for her to emerge. He was eager to have her attention without so many prying eyes, but he was apprehensive of his plan. It may not work, but he had to know when this was finished that he had at least tried. He couldn’t wait any longer.
Hearing her open the door and begin her descent, he calls out. “Inquisitor, may I have a moment?”
She had been reading a report, but his formality caught her attention. Looking over to him, she said, “Is everything alright? You only ever call me Inquisitor out there,” she says as she gestures with her hand. He knows what she’s implying.
“Yes, I just… I needed your attention. Forgive me.”
That seems to catch her off guard. She is quick to offer, “We don’t need titles for you to have my attention, Solas. What is it that you need?”
His chest tightens when she says his name. She so rarely does, it gives off a feeling of intimacy, of being known by someone.
“I was hoping that I might steal you away for a time. Is that alright?”
She pauses a moment to think. Finally she says, “I think I could give you the evening if you’d like? Let me go tell Cassandra in case the world decides to end before we come back.”
He chuckles, despite himself, and nods at her. “Meet me at the front gates when you are finished then.”
It isn’t long before she finds him. She holds up a basket, saying, “I didn’t know how long we’d be out, so I got us dinner.” He smiles warmly at that. He so rarely gets her to himself that he feels peculiar when faced with the reality of it.
Once they leave the Keep, he feels some of the tightness in his chest start to loosen. He wasn’t even sure that he would be able to get her away, but she was happily walking along beside him. The evening was starting off better than he had imagined.
They walk in companionable silence for a time before she asks, “Where are we going?”
“To a place not far from here. I would have shown you while we were out with the group, but I wanted it to be a surprise for you. I hope you do not mind.”
Her face seems to light up a bit at his words, which eases yet more of the anxiety away. She smiles at him and replies, “After so many demons and corpses, I could use a nice surprise. Thank you, Solas.”
He chuckles. “You don’t even know what it is, yet you want to thank me? What if you hate it?”
Adari laughs saying, “You know me too well. I don’t think you would give me a surprise that I hate!”
He looks down at his feet, smiling to himself. He thought he knew her well, yes. Hearing that being confirmed by her seemed something he should treasure.
They reached the mouth of a dark cave. He turned to her saying, “This is it. There’s an area past the cave tunnel.” He held out a hand to her, offering guidance in the dark. She smiled, taking it. They walked through the darkness quickly and quietly, and he found himself holding his breath. He tried to gain control, afraid she would hear his fumbling. They reached the inner part of the cave that expanded into a small enclosed courtyard of sorts. Adari gasped at the sight.
The area was framed by two Elven statues, with a pond in the center. The moon hung low in the sky, reflecting itself in the water. He held up a hand to examine as he said, “The Veil is thin here… can you feel it? The way it tingles on your skin?”
She looked around them for a moment before lifting up her own hand. “I can.. it.. it almost feels like drops of dew on my skin.” She smiled up at him. “Solas, this place is beautiful! Thank you. Truly. It’s refreshing to take a moment to really see everything around me.”
Good. This was what he had wanted. He gestured that they sit down near the edge of the pond to eat the food she had brought along. It was comfortable now, the time and space they were able to share together. So much of it was battles, yes, but there were other times like this. She had seemed to attach herself to him right away in Haven, as much as he tried to tell her otherwise. She came to him for guidance, for knowledge, and most surprisingly for companionship. He hadn’t understood it, but they had become fast friends.
While they ate, she talked to him happily about whatever came into her mind. She told him of latest book she had read, a small one of Dalish poems that had been given to her by the clan in the Plains as a gift. She explained how difficult it had been to see Blackwall in prison recently, and how she was grateful that she was able to offer him a second chance. On and on, she went. He was happy to let her talk as long as she wanted, as they so rarely had these moments of late. But when she leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder, he remembered why he had brought her here.
“Adari, I,.. well I brought you here for a reason. I wanted to find a way to show you, tell you, what you mean to me. And to thank you.” She sat up and turned to look at him. “What are you thanking me for?”
Taking a breath, he said, “You have so often challenged my views of not only the Dalish, but of the world as I have known it. You are unlike others, and that has been… refreshing to discover.”
She looked into the water of the pond for a moment before answering. “The Dalish are flawed, yes, but they are still my people.” Solas turned her head gently to look at him. “Yes, which is why I must tell you the truth. Your markings. They are slave markings. Originally they meant show which of the gods a slave belonged to, and well.. it has just been perversed over time.”
She stared at him for a long moment before answering. “The one thing the Dalish use to set themselves apart from others is just another thing that they misunderstood?”
Solas nods at her numbly. “I don’t say this to distress you. I know you would want the truth, as ugly as it may be. I have done some research, and I have discovered a spell to remove them. That is, if you wish.”
Adari makes a small noise in her throat before answering. “I didn’t want the markings to begin with, Solas. You know I don’t believe in the gods. To be seen as truly Dalish, to be seen as a full adult in their eyes, however, it is required.” She pauses for a moment, thinking. “But I am no longer truly Dalish. I don’t think I could be after being the Inquisitor. It would not pain me to lose the markings.”
He is relieved to hear her say this. He moves to face her fully, saying “This will not take long.” A blue green magic pulses from him as he washes her face with it. He reaches her chin and pulls back, taking in the sight of her without the markings. Taking in a breath, he says, “You… you are so beautiful, Adari.” She blushes at him, and he cannot stop himself. He moves to grab her face in both his hands. Pulling her close, he kisses her.
And she lets him. For one eternal moment, he is simply the painted figurine of a desperate heart. He puts everything he feels for her into that kiss, a kiss he has held back for months. He has waited, hoped, and dreamed, knowing it would not come into fruition. And yet here he was.
He pulled away, hesitantly. She looked up at him, surprised. “Solas?”
Taking his hands from her face, he reaches for her hands instead. He takes a shaking breath before saying, “So much has happened, and before this is over so much more will. I just.. I needed to be selfish for just a moment.” He pauses in case she wishes to speak. She seems to understand he has more to say, so he continues. “You have to know that I love you. Deeply. More than I thought I was capable of, more than I have ever been capable of. I needed this moment to be selfish, because I couldn’t bare the thought of not telling you. At least once.”
She looked down at their hands. Very quietly she said, “Solas, you know that… that I’m with Cullen. That I’m in love with him.” He sighs. Of course he knew. It’s why it had taken him this long to bare himself to her.
“I do. But can you fault me for offering the truth?”
She shakes her head, and squeezes one of his hands. Looking up, she meets his gaze with her tear filled one. “But Solas, you have to know that I love you as well. It’s not the same, but… it’s not worthless. “
He swallows before answering her. “Yes. I know. And, I am grateful for your love in whatever form you will give it.”
She reaches across to hug him, and he feels her wet cheeks on his neck. Even if her love was not the same, he knew it would be hard to leave when the time came. He holds her tighter, whispering apologies into her hair for so many things she did not yet know.
I think the Lost Elf Theme from Trespasser can work for both the Inquisitor and Solas, especially as a elf and even more so if Solas was romanced.
It’s got this sad aching quality to it which works beautifully for Solas as he is at a crossroads and makes an incredibly difficult choice. He can’t bear to not have the world he knows and he aches and mourns for the loss of it even though it was at his own hands.
Now if you take that and turn it to the Inquisitor...the events of Trespasser making it painfully aware that the Inquisition can no longer function as it has. It’s corrupted and needs reform and it does by either disbanding or reducing the size of it. Now the Inquisitor has watched their world for the past like four years come crashing down upon them. All the built in the hopes of doing good and continuing to do good have been ruined. What was supposed to be pure and a way to correct mistakes has fallen into the same trap.
A few parallels, huh?
Then you dump in the fact if Solas was romanced, he is gone from Lavellan’s life as well as the Inquisition is no longer what it was. Lavellan loses both of these things which one is heartbreaking to start with, but losing both? Devastating.
With it being valentines day yesterday, what more excuse did i need to draw more Solavellan? :p How i wish the dance at the winter palace went #solvallen #solavellan #dragonageinquisition #dragonage #fanart #art #artsy #artwork #artist #instaartist #instadraw #instaart #draw #drawing #sketches #artstag #myart https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt5Zv1YF611/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14ca861c4ahlr
Solas and My Lavallen ... i am officially Solvallen trash and i do not regret a single thing (yes i am aware theyre gonna break my heart in so many places but but... theyre too adorable not to draw) More will likely follow when i can find my actual sketchbook :p #solvallen #solas #dragonageinquisition #dragonage #sketches #fanart #traditionalart #videogames #elves #art #artist #artwork #artsy #artstag #draw #drawing #drawings #instaartist #instaart #instadraw #myart https://www.instagram.com/p/BtCUTT9lWnO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=le6fl9ylucc7
