"I love dogs" I say, while icing my thumb bc a great dane named Jasmine gets separation anxiety from her brother and decided to make a u-ey and wrap the leash around my thumb before BOLTING across the yard.

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"I love dogs" I say, while icing my thumb bc a great dane named Jasmine gets separation anxiety from her brother and decided to make a u-ey and wrap the leash around my thumb before BOLTING across the yard.
today sarah wrestled my phone away from me to post on my fb account "eatin poopy buttholes ;)" and in the process may have cracked a rib and is now in a lot of pain
me: don't ship it
brain: OH MY GOD DO YOU SEE THAT?!
me: OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?????