#sometimesithinktoomuch

[submarineforest]

- some days the city looks like a painting like you could drive forever and not see the background end some days you actually feel like driving forever just to see the background change some days you continue to hold on even when you want to let go some days are actually nights that you can't escape so you try to find things to take a bit of that feeling away some nights the city looks like a painting and that's beautiful. #FromACarWindow #FortyTwos #PhotoPoetry #photopoem #sometimesithinktoomuch #happythanksgivng (at Chicago Downtown) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWt4dCjrol7/?utm_medium=tumblr

[submarineforest]

- waiting, a feeling of vulnerability wading through the air as you walk, the air feels like a physical thing, like syrup or some kind of thinned jelly i pretend that the syrup is spiced and lovely, the jelly a festive cranberry orange but will it lift my spirits? #sometimesileavemyhouse #FortyTwos #sometimesithinktoomuch #poetry #festivedepressive (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXeSwrglwHY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[submarineforest]

- sometimes things grow in the most unexpected places and those inhospitable environments can make things more interesting than they would have otherwise been i wish this were not a view taken in regards to people like the myth of the tortured artist your surroundings build your worldview though they influence you, they aren't a part of you sometimes you can change yourself easier than changing your circumstances sometimes what you've been through is just pain. #sometimesithinktoomuch #streetart #plants #growth #iamnotbrave #chronicpain #disability #FortyTwos (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDlnItPSBq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[submarineforest]

- i haven't been feeling well lately which should not come as a shock if we're well acquainted or you may have oicked up on some things if you're fairly astute...now it's time for a story. on February 8th 2009 i woke up with a migraine level headache that never went away (the intensity does vary from day to day), random body pains, random ringing in my ears, vertigo, needles & pins nerve pain, etc... that was FOURTEEN years ago. i had been seeing doctors who told me i was very healthy & could not explain my pain (and accused me of drug seeking)... i had been on all kinds of drugs with off label uses to treat headaches (many with unacceptable side effects, none of which were effective)... i had seen chiropractors and massage therapists (weekly for many years) just to be able to function with LESS pain. the only times in 14 years that i have not been in some kind of pain was when i was so drugged up i was useless and mostly, in that uselessness i just didn't care that i was in pain but it was still there. just before the pandemic started, the working theory of what was causing my pain was changing. they started to say that they thought it was all post-viral symptoms from when i had viral meningitis about 15 years ago. i constantly lament the life i had and the life i could have had if i wasn't constantly battling to simply function. so if i seem more cautious with my health risks this is why. i have lived this for well over a decade. i HAVE TO do everything i can to not get sicker than i am... cause i don't know that i can handle that... cause i feel like i'm already behind the 8 ball. #sometimesithinktoomuch #disability #fourteenyears #FortyTwos #imnotokaybutitsokay (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/Coc8oYHPwv_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[submarineforest]

- the finish on this car got me thinking about Trapper Keepers... it was all the rage when i was young, and i remember it seeming expensive without really grasping the cost of a dollar it was possibly the first status symbols i noticed and children are very aware of certain authenticities was your shit Lisa Frank or some kind of knock off? are those authorized dolphins? #trapperkeeper #sometimesithinktoomuch #FortyTwos #carpaint #authorizeddolphins (at Chicago Downtown) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn8MG2TLuN3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[submarineforest]

- sometimes life requires abstraction like letting your mind wander through the swirls in a piece of marble something subtle to let your mind assign meaning to a sort of visual version of ambient music or a new way of looking at your surroundings a new way of viewing your life a new way of enjoying an old favorite a new way of appreciating the lights at the end of your evening #sometimesithinktoomuch #niseilounge #abstraction #desaturation #FortyTwos (at Lakeview, Chicago) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnOM625udvP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[submarineforest]

- you just keep moving, trying to find your way you look up at the sky, and still see a maze you manage to keep going, if only for this one day you find yourself dreaming, of nothing but escape... #FromACarWindow #photopoetry #poem #FortyTwos #sometimesithinktoomuch #sometimesidreamtoomuch (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clt2Pl-vbV_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[submarineforest]

- the landscape is always changing though not always for the better some things feel the same even with a coat of paint and that dulls the ache of the constant change #FromACarWindow #FortyTwos #sometimesithinktoomuch #PhotoPoetry #Poetry #ThinkingAboutEntropy (at Portage Park, Chicago) https://www.instagram.com/p/CShacG6l_oH/?utm_medium=tumblr