Fiancé
"Pretty woman
Whoa whoa you look so high-class
No matter where I look, you’re so pretty
My woman, now I know
My woman, my blue bird"
I picked up the white envelope that has been lying on my bedside table for a few days. I knew what was inside but I refuse to open it.
To: Song Minho
I took a sip of soju from my cup before placing it down on the table with a heavy thud. Every single time I look at this envelope, regrets just rush through me.
"Why did I do that…" I sighed, rubbing my palm against my forehead as I let the memories fill my mind.
"Let's break up." I announced, pushing the food around the plate with my fork.
"Seriously Minho," She lets out a long and deep sigh. "What's the problem now?"
"There's no feelings left," I said, looking up at her from my plate. "It's no use for us to keep trying to save this dead relationship. What is left to be saved?"
There was a long silence between us, the only sound was the screeching of the fork against the plate as I continue to play with the food on the plate, waiting for her reply.
Finally, she placed her utensils down on the table and I could feel her eyes on me. I look up at her directly into her eyes.
My heart stopped fluttering like how I would whenever our eyes met. There's no longer the feelings of butterflies in me. The sparks are gone, dead.
"You know what?" She runs a hand through her hair. "I'm done with all of this bullshit." She snaps.
I remained silent, slightly taken aback by her reaction. For all the times I have mentioned the topic on ending the relationship, she always persuaded me to try again. I always gave in to her because… maybe because at that point I thought things could be saved. Those feelings would come back.
"Minho," She sighed. "Love isn't about those fucking feelings you've been talking to me about. Those that you thought you've lost or you assumed you have lost because you don't feel them when you see me. I'm sure those feelings are still there but because you are so used to it, you think you stopped feeling it. Through a relationship, it is about love and about choice. Making a choice to continue it, making a choice of 'oh, I think this person is someone I'm going to spend my life with' and not based on some kind of feelings to gauge if the love between us has died down. I still love you. I do. But at this point, I don't think this relationship is going to work out with just me making a choice."
Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she sniffed, wiping away the tears.
"I'm tired." She just smiled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ears. "So, I hope you'll eventually find someone you could make a choice with and love in the future."
She stood up from her seat and left.
It took me less than a month to finally understand what she meant. But by the time I could gather the courage to find her after a year, she gave me this white envelope. At the café where we had our first date, she gave me this.
Her wedding invitation.
"My woman, now I know
My woman, my blue bird"
Everyone stood up and applause when the huge door open and the bride walks in, her arm linked with her father's.
She, who was what was my happiness, is now someone's.
She is smiling. She is happy.
Just like how she smiled at me when we were together.
Our eyes met as she slowly graces the room, she just gave a slight nod and smiled.
I'm regretting. My love.
She's now standing there on the platform with her husband-to-be. She looks happy.
This is love and choice. Not just about feelings.
"You are now husband and wife."
That could have been us. He could have been me.
Her eyes scanned the crowd and she saw me once again. We stared at each other for god knows how long and I could feel what she's trying to tell me.
She loved me and now she loves him.
She's not hurting anymore.
I love her.
I'm hurting.
With that, I gave her a smile and turned to leave the venue.
I can't let her see me cry.
A/N: FIANCE’S 1st win today on Mnet!!!!!!!!! So here’s a short story to celebrate!!!!!!
sidenote: those italics are the eng translation of Fiancé :)
