Bound
The Wedding's March sounds through the church's walls, painted angels seemingly dancing in its high ceilings. You walk through the crimson path laid in velvet, clad in white. Veiled. Slow.
A man awaits upon the altar. Tall. Red hair and red eyes, but somehow pale cheeks. Eyes sullen. As if a soldier surrendering in war.
Empress Latil sits a floor over everyone else, overseeing the union of her knight, and a scorned but powerful noble.
"As we join them in holy matrimony
Sir Sonnaught
and
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"
Voices get tuned out.
Sir Sonnaught gazes upwards, longing for the sky.
You are the river of fire under his bloody feet.
- - - - - - - - - -
When did it start?
When red hair and blazing eyes swept you off your feet. When his hands carried you back up on your soles. When a boy bent down to dust the leaves off your bubblegum pink dress.
"Forgive my carelessness, my lady. I was not aware of your presence."
Why did this kid speak like the grownups?
"I apologize for... for falling down..." you trail off. Your 6-year-old vocabulary fails you.
And maybe balance within the universe, as you heard your father speak with other bearded men, does exist in this cruel, cruel world. For just as your mouth fails you, the red-haired boy lifts his lips into a grin.
And all is all right in the world.
"I see no need for your apologies, miss. Still, I must insist that you pay a visit to my estate. Let our physician treat your knees."
And that's when you noticed blood trickle down your ankle.
When you have reached the height of a young lady, when your knees were strong enough to carry bags of books, and lugging around the palace to go from one tutor or another, that is when you met the princess. Her black hair reminds you of a starless sky. A storm.
And maybe you should have known then, when you have noticed the same fiery red mop of hair follow her around, and not you.
But all good things must come to an end.
When the empress has started taking in consorts, your family with no male heir grew shaky on their feet. They cling to who and what they can. They cling to the nearest royalty. The Melosi.
And so here you are.
Within a chamber. Listening out than in. The empress and the knight just on the other side of the door.
"I will always be your man."
For how long?
"Eternally."
No tear comes out the eyes of the wicked. No one mourns them, just as they are incapable of mourning anyone.
You are the fjord wedged between her majesty and her knight.
And what could be more wicked than that?
The knob twists. Before Sir Sonnaught could enter, you hurry to the bed, feigning sleep. But you pant. You sweat. The blankets wrinkle too much on his side.
"My lady... I... I did not think you heard it..."
"I didn't! I... I have just woken up. Goodness, what time is it?"
"...a quarter after midnight."
"Oh! See, I'm such an early riser." You yawn. "I start my day at this time. Do use the bed as long as you'd like."
"My lady..."
Your eyes are heavy, yet you stand anyway. You smile at him as you pass him by.
"My lady!" He catches your wrist.
"Sir Sonnaught...?" you freeze, unsure, like a rabbit caught by the ankle.
"You are my... I am your husband now." He says it with finality. No doubt. No celebration.
"I apologize for treating you like-"
You yank your wrist from his grip.
"There is nothing wrong, sir! See, who wouldn't love her majesty, yes?"
"Right... Her Majesty is worthy of praise, but..." he pauses, "you are worth of praise too, and I must-"
"Nonsense, dear sir! I am nothing compared to our empress."
"You are my wife."
His hands land on your shoulders. Heavy. Careful.
"Yes. And you wish it was not so."
"You are the most fitting for me. Out of all the ladies in the empire."
"That only sounds as if you compare yourself to her majesty, and you have fallen short."
He stays silent.
"It is my mistake to think we could delude ourselves, my lady, forgive me."
His hands fall to his sides, eyes downturned, staring at the floor. Anywhere but your eyes.
"I will fulfill my duty as your husband."
His hands caress your fingers.
"And you..." his fingers find their way to your chin, "fulfill your fate of enjoying your life, no matter what you must do."
Yes. And maybe then he would look at you the way he looks at her majesty.
And maybe then the aches be silenced.