#soooo true.

[dykeselfcest]

loooove the gay cashier at CVS ringing up my extremely overpriced purchase of 4 covid + flu a/b tests and 1 bottle of body wash and saying "this is why I don't shop at CVS"

[ryancartersummer]

"guy [jeek] comes to play every night...he's an absolute maniac. in a good way."

[urgeforgoing]

I thought it would kill me!!!! but it didn’t!!!!!

[aliaoftheknives]

me demetri shaking hands falling in love with women who are slightly evil for good 

[mercilessbeautifulworld]

people ask me how my drafts going...

me: man, my drafts have fucking drafts.

[the-poets-might-disagree]

If you can love your enemy you already have the victory

The help

[funfettipoopcakes]

Most girls:

some other chick: "Your boyfriend's cute!"

girlfriend: "Bitch, you will die slowly!"

Me:

some other chick: "Your boyfriend's cute!"

Me: "You know it!"

[timeschangebutweremainthesame]

Everyone thought you would be the most fucked up, and you're the best. Congratulations!

MB