Ghost of a Feeling - A Sophicus Ficlet (Downfall verse)
Sometimes he gets a feeling. not of being watched, exactly; he's too well trained to be paranoid like that. no; it's just a feeling. A kind of warmth, and a kind of sadness.
Rasoul, his new partner, watched him. Rasoul and Patrick had told him that he'd been injured, and it affected his memory. They told him he'd known that Carter was dead, Masterson defected, Jacob disappeared, and Dana was on indefinite leave. Simon was in seclusion because Mikey was gravely ill. He took their word because they were his Brothers in the Light; but it felt wrong. Or at least untruthful.
Still. They had no reason to lie to him, and doubting his Brothers was one step closer to doubting the Light. so he readjusted his ideas, tried to beleive them. But sometimes that feeling came right out of the blue, that warmth and sadness, and he had to close his eyes.
That feeling felt like the truth. And for some reason, every now and then, he thought of Mary Ellen Hallow's daughter, the girl he'd drowned because she would not come to the Light. He thought of her laughing, dark hair faling over her shoulder, and that frightened him: he'd never seen her before the day he killed her. But that had always been a problem for him, too much compassion for those that needed to be cleansed.
The next time that feeling cme over him, he made pancakes. Rasaul laughed at him; it was 8 pm. "Breakfast for midnight snack. y'want some?" he asked. Rasoul refused, eyes darkening and narrowing at him. Rich didn't understand why, and ate too many by himself.
