#sophoklesworld

[pale-silver-comb]

I'm watching an episode of B99, and Gina is distracting Boyle by asking him what the difference between a skillet and a frying pan is. This scene has such Eliot Spencer vibes and I can't stop thinking about him ranting, talking about the Very Distinctive Difference between the skillet and frying pan, and how dare Hardison implying Eliot doesn't know what he's doing in the kitchen (in the background you can see Parker stealing either some of Eliot's food or cereal and orange soda, Eliot banned.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

It starts as a way to steal food without Eliot noticing but, of course, Eliot quickly catches on and replaces all the cereal and orange soda with healthier alternatives (but putting it in the same packaging).

The first day Parker and Hardison successfully retrieve their cereal and orange soda, only to quickly discover it’s a multi-grain cereal and pure orange juice (with pulp) is the best morning Eliot has had in a month as he gets to watch his boyfriend and girlfriend stubbornly pretend to enjoy their stolen goods with Hardison making exaggerated “mmm” sounds, all the while holding Parker back who looks ready to straight up murder Eliot over her missing fortune cookies.

Over the weeks, Hardison and Parker continuously swap the food back in plain sight of Eliot with smug looks but by the next morning it’s always replaced by the healthy options again and, honestly, at this point it’s not even about the food anymore because the loft is open plan - it’s monitored on a video feed - and there’s no way Eliot should be able to sneak in to the kitchen without Hardison, at the very least, seeing him.

And oh, it is ON.

This goes on for months. Parker hiding in the vents while she plans for their next jobs. Hardison setting up motion sensors so he’s alerted to every single time someone enters the kitchen.

Sophie is contacted.

Parker begins to suspect Hardison is a double-agent.

Sex is withheld.

It’s all very tense.

It’s a year to the date when Parker and Hardison watch as Eliot, very deliberately, gets up half-way through the movie they’re watching, crosses the room to the closet where Eliot keeps his more non-essential weapons and first aid kits, only to walk inside and close the door.

Parker and Hardison share a confused look but don’t take their eyes off the door. Especially as nothing happens for several minutes.

That is, until they hear a popping sound, and one of the kitchen cupboard doors- the cereal cupboard door - swings open to reveal a small hole in the back of it and Eliot’s smug, smiling face on the other side as he shakes Parker’s favourite cereal and Hardison’s orange soda at them and winks.

The man dug a whole secret tunnel. In their own home. Just to lower Parker and Hardison’s morning sugar intake.

Hardison doesn’t know whether to be impressed or affronted.

Parker pretends to be angry but she’s too eager to crawl through the tunnel space to care.

And anyway. Not like this game was a con in itself to trick their boyfriend into making them fancy breakfasts every morning when they complained about their missing cereal and soda. No. That would be crazy.

[firewritten]

for the identity ask: 13, 15, 30 :)

inside or outdoors?

I don’t know. Both are good. I love the grass and the dirt and the trees and the sky and the rocks, and sometimes when my brain is being too silly a walk outside in the sun can really help.

But being inside can be nice too, because it’s where my computer and keyboard live, and it’s nice to be warm and dry when it’s cold and wet out.

five most influential books over your lifetime

My Bondage and My Freedom, by Frederick Douglass

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

A collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s stories and poems

all those books I read in elementary school about the Holocaust

Pickwick Papers, by Charles Dickens

pick one of your favorite quotes.

Your Honor, years ago I recognized my kinship with all living beings, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

- Eugene V. Debs

[pretentious-git]

YOU ARE A RAY OF SUNSHINE ☀SEND THIS TO 8 PEOPLE WHO DESERVE THIS AND TRY NOT TO BREAK THE CHAIN 💛

<3 <3 lovely you are lovely, 

thank you!

[pale-silver-comb]

I was about to say "imagine the leverage crew going undercover in college - like community" but then I remember they actually went undercover in Harvard. But still, Sophie taking Drama classes? Nate maybe even as a teacher - 'I tutor those people after class that's why we're in the study room together'. (they all take his class - art history or criminology) Hardison taking random classes, acing them all. Actually, him and Eliot end up competing for valedictorian. Parker takes an botany class.

I’M SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO ANSWER SOPHIE. You are such a sweetheart leaving lovely headcanons in my inbox to cheer me up when I’m down! <3

I am OBSESSED with Parker taking a botany class because “I STILL DON’T GET WHAT DO PLANTS DO.”  Then suddenly she has all this knowledge about plants and the Portland apartment is slowly filled with them, with little tags on each pot saying what it’s for and how to care for it. Hardison tries to make her a little garden, possibly in the kitchen of the Brewery, but Parker isn’t interested. She doesn’t want to garden. She just wants to put this Spider Plant in the bathroom! Meanwhile, Eliot is just edging closer and closer to the garden patch like “If Parker isn’t going to use it...can I plant some herbs here?” Periodically, you just see Hardison watering Parker’s plants in the background when the team recuperate at the apartment to discuss the con. Meanwhile, there is a scene where the whole team are arguing about something and then, in the background, there’s Eliot. Eliot’s surprised face when he spots seed packets laid out for him, smiling softly as he touches them and then frowning, embarrassed, when Hardison notices and smiles to himself. (Hardison marks it as a win when he notices the seed packets gone 30 minutes later.) 

Okay, but YES TO HARDISON AND ELIOT COMPETING. I mean, they won’t be there long, so maybe not valedictorian, but maybe for the con they need to be, like, rival students. Competing for signatures or something. Eliot flirting with everyone, petting puppies, wearing his nerdy glasses. Hardison listening to everyone’s needs and effortlessly getting rid of parking tickets for them, upgrading them to better student accommodation for free. Parker thinks it’s hilarious and you see her campaigning for both Hardison and Eliot in a series of random costumes, telling people about the time Eliot fought a bear and how Hardison is secretly Banksy. At first, people don’t know what to make of her. Some think she’s actually a twin and one twin is in Eliot’s corner and the other in Hardison’s. Finally, people decide Parker must be friends with, or is torn between dating, both Eliot and Hardison. They have a bet going on who Parker is going to end up with. Will she pick the winner or console the loser? Then, come election day, Parker surprises everyone by revealing she has the most signatures for *insert con related thing here* and has been playing Hardison and Eliot the whole time. (Nate is very proud of her.) Eliot is irked over the betting pool because “do people really think the only reason Parker would help us both is because she wants to date us? That’s just sexist” only to stop mid-rant, blushing, when he sees Sophie’s alias at the bottom, who bet Eliot’s alias is actually the one in love with Hardison and Parker’s aliases. There’s a bunch of tally marks next to Sophie’’s alias from other students. Eliot tears up the paper before Hardison or Parker can see.

Sophie taking drama classes and the Professor borderline wondering if it’s justifiable to kick a student out of class for being The Worst Drama Student He’s Ever Seen. Just. This poor woman has no future as an actress. None. Still, he can’t just kick her out. Maybe there is room for improvement. Hopefully. On opening night, all of Sophie’s acting troop comes to see her and applauds furiously because they think she’s acting bad on purpose. (Must be one of Miss Devereaux’s “bits”, they decide.) They all bring her flowers and the Professor. Just. Doesn’t. Get. It. 

The students at the college can’t tell if Nate is a Professor or a student. They keep seeing him in both capacities. Theories start developing about him. He’s clearly smart. Some think he’s some kind of crazy ex-scientist and he’s here to uncover the seedy underbelly of the college. Others swear he’s being going here for years and deliberately fails all his classes. Why? No-one knows. Others say he’s a teacher who only pretends to be a student to help him become a better teacher. Like, method-acting. Only with teaching. Even after the con is finished, students are still convinced they see him lurking in dark corners and hear rumors of classes he teaches in the dead of night. 

[pale-silver-comb]

Imagine Parker stumbling over Hardison's fanfiction about them. He started that after he found some conspiracies, headcanons and even RPF about them written by some of their clients, and surprisingly even one or two collaterals (ppl working for the CEOs they took out), so now he's fueling whatever he feels like. Imagine Parker starting to write (maybe even poetry) because "writing is cool, even though I haven't understood the use so far."

Now I am just imagining some bad guy they put away being told to channel their anger into writing for therapy reasons, and that writing turns into some kind of weird revenge fantasy on the team. The thing is, this is at a time when none of them are together, not even Hardison and Parker, and this dude is clearly writing them as some kind of romantic triad??? 

Which, you know, may or may not, lead Hardison down a rabbit hole where he stumbles upon fan-fiction or similar “therapy writing exercises” about them from other criminals or clients. It makes him weirdly happy that people see them like that, even if it is kind of weird. 

Cut to four years later and Hardison may have several aliases he’s carefully cultivated over the years where they are all in a relationship. There’s back story, drama, how they met, how they got together, their daily routine. The works. He justifies it by telling himself it’s not fantasy, just pragmatic. You know, in case they ever have to go into hiding and don’t feel like splitting up. 

Hardison gets such joy out of creating these aliases. It’s almost like his version of The Sims. He loves imagining all these other lives they could have. And yeah, one day Parker is being nosy and stumbles across them. At first Hardison is embarrassed and still tries to play it off as nothing more than back-up plans but it’s no use because it’s painfully obvious some of the aliases would be of absolutely no use if push came to shove and they needed to get out of dodge, like the alias where Eliot is a Professional Cowboy (”what does that even mean, Alec? Does he wear hats and big belt buckles for a living?”). 

Of course, Parker doesn’t make fun. Instead, she begins to add to them and comes up with all sorts of quirky new details, even suggesting some brand new aliases to add to the collection. 

They don’t tell Eliot; Hardison, out of embarrassment, and Parker because she doesn’t actually realise they aren’t telling him. 

Of course, this all comes to a head one night when Parker says she wants to do role play in the bedroom and Hardison is left speechless when Eliot comes into the room, more than a little smug, decked out in full cowboy gear saying, “the lil’ lady told me you got a wild west fantasy?”. And the drawl is so strong and Hardison is going to kill Parker, but not before he swoons just a little at the way Eliot tips his hat at him and winks like a 40s movie star, lets Hardison haul him in by his *cough* massive belt buckle and kiss him senseless. (Parker doesn’t understand the appeal of the cowboy look but she does like the low voice Eliot uses for the character and the way Hardison can’t take his eyes off of him.) 

After that, Hardison is much more willing to share his aliases with Eliot and Parker (even if he does get mocked for some of them- “professional dinosaur wrangler, Hardison, seriously??”). 

[pale-silver-comb]

The leverage team meeting the Avengers, or which of the Avengers they'd be, is kinda old news. But can you imagine Eliot's endless suffering at having to deal with Deadpool?! And even worse Wade and Peter flirting. Hardison would start a betting pool, I bet ("they're not gonna make out in the next 10 months, they're dense *whispers* (much like you)". Parker would probably just... Jump around between buildings with Peter, right? She may ask "is Deadpool from the circus?" It would be soo chaotic!!

Oh my god. Okay. So. Since you are talking Spideypool I assume we are talking about their Deadpool/Spiderman Earth 616 series?? WHICH. YES. 

Wade would be way too much for Eliot with his endless chattering but they might bond over his katanas. Also. Wade loves to cook. At least, he loves food, right? And so maybe Eliot teaches him how to make authentic chimichangas. Eliot is a little....surprised when Wade produces a french maid’s outfit when he asks if needs an apron but he’s too used to Parker wearing weird crap in the middle of jobs for no reason to comment on it. 

Parker would be instantly off with Peter, yes. She’d be fascinated with how he can crawl up buildings and since Peter’s web shooter is man-made in the series (since Deadpool sometimes uses it) he lets Parker use it and promises to send her something similar for her to use. She may be a criminal but he can appreciate she does it to help people. Plus, he’d be a hypocrite to be into friends with Wade and judge the Leverage team for what they do. (Peter both being in awe and terrified when Parker yells “you can catch me, right?” MID-LEAP OFF A BUILDING.) 

I think Sophie and Wade would also hit it off since Wade loves playing roles and dressing up. He’s half talked Sophie into letting him audition to be part of her acting troop when Peter has to put a stop to it because Wade being part of anything usually leads to carnage and he is not letting carnage happen to these people. 

Hardison and Peter bonding over tech and Peter talking about his web shooters and other things so Hardison knows how to maintain whatever he sends to Parker. Hardison giving Peter suggestions on how to improve his Spidey-gear and Peter shyly asking if he could keep in contact with him because his suggestions are, frankly, the most innovative he’s ever heard. (Meanwhile Hardison is just trying hard not to fanboy over the fact the Spider-man wants his help. He may or may not have several updated costume designs hidden in a folder on his personal computer. He refuses to let Eliot tease him about it.)  

Everyone but Parker watching in horror as Wade accidentally slices off his own hand when Eliot asks him to chop some vegetables. Peter just sighing in the background and muttering “guess I’m driving home”. (Parker asks if she can keep the hand and Eliot and Hardison shouting “NO!” at the same time Wade gasps “’I’D BE HONOURED.” ) 

PETER AND PARKER BONDING OVER THE FACT THEY SHARE A NAME and Parker telling him he’s not allowed to change it when he marries Wade (because she just learned the other day people do silly things like change their names when they marry someone???) And Peter laughing, saying it’s not like that with him and Wade, before Wade yells across the room “LIKE HELL I’D LET YOU TAKE MY NAME. I’M THE BRIDE.” Then before Peter can address any of that, Wade produces a scrapbook that says “Wade Parker-Wilson” on it with different bridal images cut out and pasted on several pages. Pushing Peter out the way, he shows Parker and says “I was thinking a Fall wedding”. (The Leverage team are the first to receive an invite 10 months later. Hardison wins the betting pool.) 

Wade asking Parker, Hardison and Eliot when they first got together and Eliot just spluttering like “we’re NOT, I mean. THEY are. But I’m not-” and Parker sighing and saying “we’ve TRIED” and Eliot’s eye begins twitching because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN. YOU. TRIED.” He’d know if they tried. Right???? He’d have noticed if the two people he loves most in the world had been trying to date him. That’s a thing he would have definitely noticed....right? “Hardison....?” “Well, I mean....” “Dammit, Hardison!” Wade laughing gleefully and singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song. (This does not go down well.)

And then there is Nate. Watching the chaos unfold like “I may as well just let this happen”” as he pours himself another drink.

[pale-silver-comb]

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

THANK YOU, SOPHIE!

❤❤❤

[pale-silver-comb]

Pass the happy along! 💛 when you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and then send this to the last 10 people in your notifications! :-)

These things are always so positive! :D

1.) My dog <3

2.) Butter icing - mmmmmm! 

3.) Anime theme tunes (why are they all so catchy???)

4.) Puns

5.) That bit in Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea when the narrator says the island of Gont is not famous for its warriors but its goat-thieves and sea-pirates (I mean, what goals???? that knowledge alone brightens my day every day, tbh)