I’m going to tell you what needs to happen
because so many things could happen.
We both fucked up. It happens. You lost a great girlfriend ( which i still dont believe) and I lost a fucking wonderful, sexual boyfriend.
Because im not sexual. I know thats what the main part of our arguments have been about these past couple of days. We have been communicating over like 4 different social media outlets.
1. We either need to sit and talk this shit out or just not fucking talk.
I am sick of crying. I am sick of seeing you upset. I want it to go back to the way it was. But that isnt going to fucking happen. You see me as sexy. i dont see me as sexy thats part of why i believe that i am asexual.
2. We could stop communicating all together. Like nothing. No talking, no saying Hi, nothing. That is probably going to hurt the worst but will help the most. Force us to get over the other. If that is even possible. First cut is the deepest.
But it typically gets better from there... or you go back to your first love. I know im not going back to the first one because i already dated him twice and dumped him with no regret and i felt bad about it because he deserved to know why we broke up instead of just breaking up...
3. Probably get back together and figure out how to work out the sex shit. ( This is probably the least likely to happen because we are both stubborn in our own ways) I could probably learn to say yes more than once a week, and you could learn how to control yourself. Because somedays i really just want to cuddle. and not be thrown around like a ragdoll.
4. If we are not going to be together we at least need to be civil for the kids. ( even though the majority of the “kids” are older than both of us) . I understand you dont like me around certain people. That shouldnt stop you from hanging out with them, just like it shouldnt stop me from hanging out with them if i dont like a certain person. We need to work together. Still be friends. okay maybe not friends but something. It hurts.
5.I dont know hide in a closet and force this shit to come out?
6.Be passive aggressive for the rest of our lives?
Personally i dont think 5 or 6 are really the best options. I mean maybe 5 is, but i am passive aggressive enough as it is, i do not want to be that way towards one person. I like talking to you. I always did and always *hopefully* will .
I just hate this cold shoulder. I hate giving it, but if i dont know what to say to you, i wont say anything. Its what i found works the best. I am sorry. For this. For everything. Im not sorry for who i am but i am sorry for the way that it seems things have turned out.
I am sure that there are so many other ways that we can work this out, but to me these are the most obvious ways.
