#sor rambles

[biderboy]

hi guys instead of sleeping i made a uquiz :p “how do you need to be loved”

[biderboy]

imagine james surviving and growing old, having smile lines and still too bright eyes and telling harry all about his first love, telling tales of a boy named after a star not many see, of a boy who held his hand and sang songs in french in the dead of night, of a boy who smiled and stole his heartbeat, that one day began to match his lovers, of a boy who’s star shone a bit brighter the year he turned 19, of a boy he never stopped loving, a boy he never will.

[biderboy]

i hate liking real men like why am i crying over him he’s not even as cool as peter parker

[biderboy]

don’t hate me but do you think james forgot the color of regulus’ eyes. do you think one day he stopped short, a random time, maybe he was in the kitchen, or walking through the garden. maybe he was on a mission, idk. but he stops, his breath catching in his throat, hands shaking, mind running in circles because he can’t remember. it’s only been a few months since his death, longer since the last time he’d seen him, but he can’t remember. he’s losing it, the imagine he’d had so carefully stored in his mind. he can still see it, but he can’t remember the precise color of his eyes. he knows they were green, knows in the right light they looks grey. but he can’t remember it.

[biderboy]

james was regulus’ sun :( and not in the “you light my world up, without you i’d succumb to the darkness” way but in the “you make me feel warm after what feels like forever being left shivering in the cold” way. in the “i hated art but i saw what the universe created with you and suddenly i know what love feels like” way. in the “if i had two minutes left to live i’d want to see you fall asleep because you’re beautiful at rest” way

[biderboy]

destiel hurts so bad cause they’re the exact opposite of “maybe in another life time, we’re meant to be” cause NO! this is the ONLY life time out of thousands and thousands that they’re together. dean and cas are meant for each other and still don’t get their happy ending. there is no other life, there is no nothing. it’s THEM ! and they don’t even get to love each other freely . i cant do this i’m gonna cry

[biderboy]

something about james falling into himself after regulus dies is so….human. he completely loses himself, he can’t eat, can’t sleep. every time he closes his eyes he sees him. he can’t do anything, he couldn’t save him, he can’t bring him back. he can’t fight this war, he can’t win it either. he can’t even look at sirius, he resembles his brother too much. he can’t be touched, he can’t touch. he doesn’t pick his wand up, doesn’t even look in its direction. he wears the same old t-shirt, his eyes don’t hold light anymore. his hands shake when he opens the door, words blur on the pages as he rereads the headlines again and again. he doesn’t fight, he doesn’t scream, he doesn’t pick up his things and run. he just exists. in the same he always has, just this time without regulus by his side.

[biderboy]

yeah ok but what if regulus was james’ best friend instead. what if, despite house differences, you would never see james without regulus, or regulus without james. attached at the hip, running through the halls too late at night, pulling pranks on every person they came across. what if, james had convinced regulus to run away, to bunk in his messy room back home, with the rest of the marauders. what if regulus got away when he was just 13, hanging onto the happiness he found with his best friend, never knowing anything different. WHAT IF