Meet my kins! (+moodboard aesthetics)
Note: All my kins exist solely for coping purposes. Some are new additions to who I am, while some have been around for as long as I can remember. All my kins are feminine in nature, and I always go by she/her or they/them while kinning.
1.) Unnamed
I usually only begin to kin her when I’m getting extremely irritated, angry, experiencing too much annoying stimulation at once (example: hearing someone eating and being unable to focus on anything else), or if a traumatic and unfair either occurs or I’ve been reminded of a previous one. When I’m de-stressing as Unnamed, I unwind by listening to DOOM (2016) OST, or the DOOM: Eternal OST. I’ve never been able to really know her name because I believe this kin is an unhealthy way of venting anger. I would count her as a half-fictionkin since there’s a LOT of overlap with Doomslayer and her; although she is not Doomslayer the character, but a Doomslayer as a concept. She is silent, and a pure characterization of my anger, trauma, and my need to let it out. I do not condone ever venting my anger physically as Unnamed, she is just there when I vent in my extensive daydreaming with music, and is always gone when I’m done daydreaming roughly 1-3 hours later.
2.) lavender
lavender has been around for almost as long as I can remember, though i do have 2 parts to myself that are similar but different enough to give lavender 2 separate paragraphs. I usually slip into being lavender when I’m listening to celtic/fantasy/cottagecore music. I also become lavender when watching cottagecore tiktoks, thrifting videos, room redecoration videos, writing or roleplaying a character who either A. has a child or is pregnant, or is B. a character who is very mature and parental+kind. I also become lavender mostly when thinking about my future, and i associate her very strongly with interior decoration, DIYs, neutral and de-saturated earthy tones paired with gentle colors, blouses, long skirts, white hair, grey eyes, maturity, and home activities such as baking, cooking, cleaning, painting, playing music. I prefer to keep lavender lowercase as it suits me more and feels more genuine to who i am. lavender is one of my most developed kins, and is an OCkin. ive been creating her as a daydream character for a while and she is so personal to me that i realized i kinned her a few months ago.
3.) Philomena
Philomena is the “second half” or “second version” of lavender. She is basically everything lavender is, except for the fact she is much much more mixed with my wiccan/pagan side. I associate Philomena with witchcore, dark cottagecore, vulture culture, dark academia, corvidcore, crystals, plants, trinkets, non-sexual nudity, intersex and trans-inclusive ideas of femininity, storms/lightning/thunder, hot mist/warm rain, bare feet, mud+dirt, voluntary isolation, heights, stone buildings, echoey acoustics, cloaks, dark earthy tones and cool colors, corsets, nighttime, the moon, tarot, intelligence/wittiness/cleverness, strangely colored lipstick, and raw power. Philomena counts both as OCkin and probably counts as magickin/sorcererkin as I oftentimes imagine her with inherent magical (not magickal) sorcerer-like abilities.
4.) [Deadname]/Childhood
This is one of the strangest, saddest, and hardest to describe kin that I have. If anyone has any way to describe or label this kin, please send me a suggestion in my asks. I have only ever switched to [Deadname] in situations of serious trauma caused by my family (witnessing arguments, witnessing destruction of physical objects during moments of anger, moments of extreme guilt, etc.) During or sometimes after those moments, I will become [Deadname]. I will usually change into more childlike clothes like onesies or fluffy pajamas, my brain will shut down and I become unable or unwilling to speak, and I will desperately try to do anything to cope. Things include blowing bubbles, hiding with stuffed animals in my closet, building a blanket/pillow nest on my bed and curling up, drinking juice, cuddling stuffed animals, and sometimes just curling up in my bed and completely shutting down. Most of the time when I become [Deadname], it will be to distract myself from my environment, but sometimes during the aftermath, I will continue to stay as [Deadname] and be in that child-like state. I am no longer myself when I am [Deadname], I feel like I am a physical representation of a silent version of my childhood (hence the other name). I heavily heavily associate this kin with trauma. I usually don’t ever switch back to something else until I have woken up the next day. I am currently unsure if this is a kin, as i do identify not as myself but something else, or if it’s just part of an underlying mental illness. I associate [Deadname] with crying/tears, trauma, childhood, silence, coping mechanisms, shaking, pajamas, juice, my bedroom, curling up, sleeping, and blankets/pillows. Whenever I curl up really tightly and snuggle up in my blankets, especially if I’m about to go to sleep, I feel myself shift slightly into being [Deadname].
So yeah! Those are my kins. If anyone has any questions, suggestions, or corrections, feel free to send them to my asks! Excuse the tag spam as well, just wanna make sure I try and get as many in there as possible because I don’t want anyone to get accidentally triggered by my post.
