I try, really hard to get my life in order and have it go my way for a bit… and things just keep getting slapped in my face.. I work really hard, I try and do things out of my comfort zone and I even try different things to see if they have different outcomes.
Nothing’s working…
The one time (probably until after summertime) that was supposed to be my “get away from everything” weekend, started out with a really bad time and just got worse throughout the evening/night.
I’ve been trying and working really hard for happiness, my own happiness… And nothing’s working.
I’m trying to be strong, I really am, I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to be who and what I used to be, back when I was happy. I’m trying to be stronger, for not only myself but, for those around me too.
I’m even worse off than I was before the convention… I just wanted a getaway from my problems for just a few days, that’s all I wanted… I wanted to have fun.. I’m back in debt, because I wanted to be helpful to some people and because I felt I kind of deserved a very small holiday after everything that had been happening..
Guess I didn’t even deserve that.