#sorta vent?

[candyflosslipgloss]

At the end of the day at least I’ll never have to be 11 again

[local-bug-boy]

New TADC episode so good it summoned the ghost that haunts me everyday.

[dragongirls-library]

i typed up a long post about self-esteem and deleted it. this time not bc it was negative, it was a post about me making some kind of, i think, i hope, permanent progress, i think it was just too verbose and getting into pointless detail. we'll see if it (the progress) sticks. this shit is hard.

the biggest takeaway is that i think i can admit that even tho i pretend to be someone who prizes being rational and objective, i think i have spent some amount of time literally blatantly lying about myself, to myself and others, just to be nastier than i need to be to myself, just to appear fair. just because i'm afraid if i'm even the teeny tiniest bit nice to myself someone will think badly of me for it (note: nobody has ever actually done this where i can observe it, this is a paranoid delusion that only lives in my head)

[to myself] it's okay. people aren't going to think i'm arrogant or selfish just because i don't say horrible things about myself and constantly berate myself. and when friends try to cheer me up when i'm negative about myself they're not just doing a chore, it's because they genuinely want me to see myself better

[little-doggy-boy-kisserstraight]

Ive been hoh since i was around 6, my hearing fluctuates and theres been times where ive been almost completely deaf. I got hearing aids at 10 and that was it.

I never learnt sign language. I never saw any deaf people on TV. I never met any deaf people due to living in a very rural area. I felt so isolated, especially since i had no one to relate too.

I desperately want to see more hoh/deaf representation, i want kids to learn sign language at school pleaseeeeeee

[plant-droid]

I don't really know how to express this properly.

I fuckin' hate E-Liter mains so much that I need to have a rivalry with one where I can just constantly say "Fuck you, asshole!" and they're just going to be a smug bastard and brush me off. Then we make out vigorously make out in the locker rooms until one of us decides to quit, and by The Great Zapfish I am not going to fucking lose to that smug E-Liter bastard.

(Translation: I'm very mad at E-Liter mains, but I respect that other people have their own favorite weapons and that I shouldn't be too mad over someone using a specific kind of weapon...)

But if you use Respawn Punisher in Turf War, you're just an asshole /j

[moxijunk]

Man, I really wished the mcyters I watch would stop making fucking four hours long videos. Like, I don't have the attention span to sit through all of that. And don't even say "oh, you can watch it over the span on a couple of days". When I see the length, it's just very discouraging.

Doing it cause it's better for the algorithm. Sir, you have enough subscribers for the video to do well either way. [heavy sighing noises] like, I can deal with two hours, but three? Pushing it a little/depends on who's video it is. But four hours? I know there's people out there who's like "yeah, longer video, more content" but I just. I can't man. My dysfunctional conscious can't.

But it could be a me problem, cause me and time does not mix well. I have mini crisises over the fact that I feel like the days go by in a blink. I'm am having a panic attack over the fact that there's not enough time in a day, and my life is a mess, and. [sighs] I already feel like my life is over even though I am, what? 18 as of this post? Legally an adult? I am just. not ready for life and I am being fucked by it. It right in the face.

But anyways, back to the topic on hand. Fucking sobbing over this, but what can I really do about it? Guess it just is what it is. I miss when mcyters had shorter videos.

[bigcanasfan95]

finished the safehouse nightmare heist for the first time, and i ran it on very hard.

so yeah i know early payday2 content is a little doodoo fart but that was easily the least fun i've played in pd2, cloakers aren't impactful if there's just a fuckin billion of them jumping ur shit every 30 seconds.

[time-jester]

*dramatically lies down on the couch*

This'll be one of the rare instances I actually "Vent", normally I'd just say these nothings to my friends, since they aren't usually that big of a deal. Hell, it still isn't, but I just wanna throw out my thoughts publicly on smth.

Gonna put it in a reblog so it doesn't clutter up the main tag I'm gonna put it on.