anyway. atr110. grabs you by the hands. sits you down. this is the one that gets really gay
yall knew this was coming from 103 i’m sure but anyway just. lays here on the ground. wait i’m still holding your hands in this metaphor. does that while also holding your hands tbh. im having Emotions and you can’t stop me. listen
thsi was like, inevitable, has been inevitable since fucking dead inside 232 though to be HONEST, i’ll admit the four years between then and now have been a long and weird ride of me still trying to backflip out of them dating because thatnks internalized homophobia??????????????? thankfully that died on its sorry little rock of my heart like at least a year ago. has it been two years??? i stopped keeping an exact timeline
the point is Don’t Ask Me About Early Potential SoShad Endings Because They Were Very Bad
i could sit here and wax poetic for a while about how atr110 is a culmination of their plotline---it is, really---and about how it’s important to me for deep reasons but tbh i just like
i love my beautiful gay sons
and i’m really glad that two months ago it was like
sora: you know that convo we had drafted about me being tired of waiting
me: yeah
sora: i wanna tell kano i love him at the end of it
me: okay but......... i didn’t want to rush it........
(two days later)
sora, banging pots and pans: HEY YOU KNOW THAT CONVO WE HAD DRAFTED ABOUT ME BEING TIRED OF WAITING
me, staring at the pieces of this puzzle which is like a box i have built around myself on accident and cannot escape: holy shit
sora: BUDDY I’M CONFESSING TO KANO JUST TRY AND STOP ME
me: ..........well now i have to rewrite three chapters so that your anxiety about waiting is palpable to the readers and not just to us but alright fine you earned this
smiles wistfully at the ceiling from where i am laying onthe ground
(yes i am still holding your hands) (at least one of your hands) (i’m squeezing the fuck out of it to try and convey my emotions, you’ve probably lost feeling in it by now, sorry)
they’re so????????????? good?????????????????????
i’m so glad i like, let msyelf do this, instead of holding back,,,
which i was really only holding back because i didn’t want to Force this to be a Big Plotpoint, a Checkmark on a list of thigns we had to do before ATR ended, i didn’t want to make them an endgame ship, etc
but this feels............ Not Like That.......... and i’m happy
and i realized that ultimately this was kind of The Ideal place to write it happenign anyway, like yes i could construct a Technically Perfect moment in for which it could happen, one that was soft and cute and good, but like, well, let me copy+paste this note i left to myself in
What’s more realistic than sora confessing in the heat of the moment because he’s mad at aqua and sick of waiting for all these things that he wants to have and maybe it’s not smart
there was no way i could construct a moment more authentic than this one
(homestuck has also taught me that sometimes Things Happen and it’s not perfect but because it’s not perfect or the technically ideal circumstances its more realistic,,,,) (thanks,,, homestuck,,,)
it’s been really fun to write sora’s overwhelmingly gay thoughts And Also Him Dying Because He’s Trying Not To Say Them Aloud for the past two months, it’s been refreshing to lean into it instead of like, shy away from it
they’re so cute and it’s so good
sora’s whole thing about choice makes me cry like a fuckin babie (this is the dialogue i was referring to that i “felt so strongly my chest ached” from this post,)
and kano being brave enough to make the choice even though he’s terrified him admitting that yes he does want this agghghhhh he’s come...... really far......... my beautfiul boy
like really the only thing i’m disappointed about in this chapter (it’s only a very low-key disappointment, too) is that like. i wrote some really cute prose about them kissing i didn’t get to use alskjflasjfsf
but in the end i was like “okay no exploring further how Kano feels about this turn of events is probably, the superior option” so i yeeted them kissing out the window
and into a separate 1800 words of prose that’s even gayer aslkfalskjf i’ll post that tomorrow or smth
I’M GLAD THAT THIS IS THE FINAL TRAJECTORY OF SOSHAD
I’M LOVE MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN
CHANCES ARE I’M CRYING OR YELLING IN EXCITEMENT OR BOTH ABOUT THIS CHAPTER AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
SQUEEZES YOUR HAND ONE FINAL TIME