Unease
“Anhkena? Are you in here?”
Sotep glanced around the seemingly empty room. Hopefully he was just hiding somewhere. Doubtful. “Anhkena please.” After a few beats of silence she gave up looking for him in his room. That just means it was going to be even more difficult to find him. Hopefully he went to seek his mwt. Or even Ipy. As long as he wasn’t alone, that’s all she cared for.
Off to search another area.
Sotep eventually found her way to the docks, knowing of his love for the lake and it’s view. But he wasn’t there either. Sotep was beginning to grow desperate and was about to go in search of her yt to find out what happened when she saw Amunet walking towards the harem. She quickened her pace to catch up with hmt nsw’s long strides.
“Amunet!”
“Oh, Sotepenre. Have you seen your sn?”
“No, I am afraid not. I was hoping you had. I’ve searched in all of his normal hiding spots but unfortunately have been unable to find him. Have you any other idea on where he might be?”
“No, I’ve no any other ideas.” Amunet paused to look the preteen over. “Why don’t you get some rest hrd. You look apprehensive. I am sure your sn is fine, we just need to respect his wishes to be alone.”
Sotep almost scoffed at these words. She looked apprehensive? Amunet was one to talk. The woman that was normally so put together and calm had a frantic look to her eye. She wore no khol around her eyes and most of her normal jewels were missing from her person. Just a simple scarab necklace graced her neck. But it was hardly fitting of those with a royal status. She hardly look like the hmt nsw Sotep has come to know. On the other hand, Sotep knew in her heart that even she must not have looked her best. Maybe Amunet was right, perhaps she should rest.
But how could she get any rest with Anhkena missing?
“Yes, you’re right. I should get some rest. I’m sure Anhkena will turn up on his own. Thank you nbt.” The two shared goodbye’s and went their separate ways. It was not Sotep’s place to tell Amunet to stop looking for her own son, especially since doing so would make her a hypocrite. Sotep would not be able to rest comfortably not knowing where her sn had gone to. When the young princess knew that she was out of sight of Amunet her pace quickened. There had to have been a place they hadn’t looked yet. Maybe he was hiding in a dark corner that none of them had noticed.
A frustrated exhale managed to escape Sotepenre’s. Another failed attempt to find Anhkena. By now most of the palace was in a panic to find him, they were just trying to hide it from the kids. Her yt had been no help at all and sent her away to attend to her studies. Sotep knew that her dismissal was just an excuse to be rid of her presence. Adding to her frustration was the way some of the women in the harem were acting. As if the young heirs disappearance was not important. The future ruler of the empire was gone and they dared to mock his frazzled mother behind her back. The cowards.
She couldn’t let her mind linger on them.
A huff passed her lips. “Why must he do this? Can he not just go to his room?”
Halting at the end of the hall she noticed a small opening between the wall and an imposing statue of Amun. It was a fairly big hole, one she could fit through with minimal effort. An even smaller space appeared to be behind the statue, perhaps a smaller statue or flower pot used to reside here? Either way as Sotep peeked into the space, her sn was not there. Disheartened, she climbed back out of the space, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. No, she couldn’t allow herself to cry.
‘Princesses don’t cry. I can’t afford it.’
Sotep sat at the base of the statue. Tilting her head back, eyes closed, she tried to think. Anhkena had been missing for most of the day and she had been searching for him for most of the time he was gone. He didn’t appear to be in any of his normal spots and it was out of the question for him to have left the palace. She said a silent prayer for his safety and opened her eyes, studying the paintings on the ceiling. The intricate designs dedicated to their protection. Singing praises to the gods and those of royal blood. Depictions of the heaven’s stretched out above her head
A strange shadow appeared on the ceiling followed by the cry of a bird. She looked up and noticed a small fluffy bird. It was probably a baby judging by its size and fluffy feathers. It perched on the edge of the top of the column. The falcon stared back at her for a few moments before a pair of small hands picked it up. Sotep felt a breath escape her chest and she took in the whole scene before her. Anhkena appeared to be sitting on the other side of the column, his tiny figure barely visible from where she stood. A birds nest next to him with that was empty, it’s occupant resting comfortably in Anhkena’s hands. A blank expression remained on his face, even as he tenderly handled the baby animal.
As she processed the scene she was witnessing, panic began to set in. “Anhkena?!” He did not falter at her panicked screech. Dulled blue eyes drifted down to her. Those eyes had become more and more frequent lately. And they frightened her. At his silence she continued, “how did you get up there?! What are you doing up there!? Wait there! I’ll get a guard!”
“No! No...I-I can get down on my own…” Voice trailing off, the baby bird was returned to its nest and Anhkena moved to the edge of the top of the column.
“No! You could fall!”
“I’m fine.” Sotep nearly began hyperventilating watching the child climb his way down from his isolated perch. She hurried the small distance to where he landed and tugged him into a hug. “Don’t do that! You could have gotten hurt!”
She felt him shrug slightly. “I would have lived.” He stepped out of her grasp, eyes flicking between hers and the ground.
“You could have gotten hurt.”
“Did you need something?”
Sotep paused to observe her little sn. Those frightening dull eyes had a red tinge and struggled to make eye contact with her. The kohl around his eyes were smudged slightly. Lips pressed firmly together. Seemingly biting down harder and harder the longer she stared. The leather strip that normally held his hair back, he played with in this hands. Tugging and stretching the material. He looked nothing like he normally did. He didn’t even look as expressionless as she thought he was when he was on the column.
He looked distraught.
And his responses to her was doing nothing to help curb her worries for him. “Anhkena, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
He growled out a yes and which made Sotep stop. Finally understanding that he was not willing to open up about what was bothering him. So she tried switching the subject.
“How did you get up there?”
He glanced up, “I climbed.”
“How did you even know the bird was up there?”
“Falcon. It’s a falcon.” He shrugged, “I heard the mother up there a few weeks ago while she was still pregnant. When I climbed up she didn’t attack, and...so I stayed.”
“That’s...nice.”
A nod was all she got before he turned his back to her. “Don’t tell yt.” The words reached her ears before he was out of sight. Quiet, yet the words reverberated in her head.
Later in the evening Sotep lay in bed thinking back on Anhkena’s punishment. He had gotten in trouble for worrying everyone. Extra studies and not being allowed to play with the others for the next few days. He took his punishment with all the grace Ramesses expected of him. Amunet looked as though she wanted to say something but held her tongue. It was probably for the best she did. He was sent to his room after the talk and hadn’t been seen for the rest of the night.
But what was it that had him acting like this? Nothing that happened that day was different than normal.
A quiet knock at her door shook her from her thoughts. It was late, Ra having long since going to make his nightly journey. Sotep hesitated before making her way to the door, grabbing a small statue along the way. “Who is it?”
“Anhkena.”
Pausing a moment to register the response, she quickly opened the door, beckoning him inside. “What are you doing out? Yt will be mad if you are caught out of your room.” Anhkena shrugged, shuffling his feet where he stood. His hair hung in his face, out once again. She reached to brush it out of his face but he stepped away. Hand dropping to her side, Sotep sighed. Instead, choosing to guide him to sit on the steps leading up to her bed. “Anhkena, what is wrong?” They sat in a silence for a while. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. He looked so lost for a moment, before he tilted his head, allowing hair to fall in his face. Sotep did not push him to talk anymore, allowing him to talk when he was ready. A feeling of unease settled in her stomach as time drew on.
“Yt hates me.”
Quiet. She almost thought she heard wrong, but looking at the small boy before her, she knew she heard right. Clenched fists began to shake, he sat hunched in on himself and buried his face in his knees.
“He hates me.”
“Do not say that. You know yt loves you. He loves all of us.”
Not looking up, he continued to shake with repressed sobs. “No. He doesn’t.” Sotep gently wrapped her arms around her sn. He flinched at first but quickly sank into her embrace, needing the stability. A small tear slipped down her cheek at his next whisper.
“I’m-...I’m not the son he wanted. I’m weak.”
mwt-mother yt-father sn-brother hmt nsw-king’s wife/great royal wife nbt-my lady hrd-child
this was so hard to write. Sorry for not posting. I just haven’t really been feeling motivated to write lately, so started focusing a lot on my art. I just hit a slump for a while, hopefully I’m back at it. Sorry again
