seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Spain
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Cyprus
seen from Canada
seen from Ukraine
seen from Ukraine
seen from Venezuela
Ugghhhh twice in 2 months I've seen my ex just randomly out driving around. Twice. We don't even live in the same city. He's not supposed to be here. We live in the two biggest cities in the entire state. Just stay in your own fucking city, douchebag; there's plenty to do there - stay the hell out of mine. Or at least wait 2 weeks. 2 weeks, that's all. I'll be 12 hours away and never have to think of you again. Why the hell did you have to be here now?!?!
That awkward moment someone "likes" an inside joke they know nothing about...
I wish I could just be paid to do art. No deadline, no required subject, just, "Here's enough money for supplies and living expenses plus a little spending money. Make something pretty whenever you feel up to it."
The interview is tomorrow. Tomorrow is what could mark the biggest day of my life. Tomorrow, I could go in there and rock it and cause the thing to happen where I get to start the rest of my life.
Or I could fail. I could walk in that room and 6 days of working my ass off preparing for this interview goes down the drain. If I don't get this, my life can't start for at least another few months - more likely, years.
But no pressure. It's just the rest of my life.
I have wanted to make this move since before I can remember. You would think that 15 some-odd years would be enough to prepare my family for this; it's certainly prepared me. I called my mom at lunch to tell her I got the interview. She couldn't answer because she was in a meeting. Ok, I get that, that's cool. But she knows I just put in for 5 positions recently. So I text her an hour later. "Now?!" and y'all she literally says "no... I'm about to watch the news. Can we just talk later?".
THE NEWS?!?!!?! I HAVE POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST NEWS OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO PUT IT ON HOLD FOR THE NEWS?!??!!?!
Omg. I'm so over this. That's the end of being excited. I should have known she'd ruin this. She's *never* supported this move. At every turn, she's been "Well, that will never work."
Oh, so but then just now, she txts me (let's count - 5 fucking hours later. Musta been real important news, Ma.) "wait...are you ok? are you mad at me?" and I'm so fucking tired of coddling her. "yeah. I am. Idk why but for some reason, I was excited to tell you something but now I'm just pissed and don't really care anymore." Then all of a sudden, everything was about her and how she was hurt that I could dare be mad at her.
Whatever. Be "hurt". Make it about you. I'm over it.
Ugh, seriously, I'm addicted. And addictions cost money. Money I don't have. I'm addicted to flowers - specifically the arranging of them. My friends keep asking me to do their weddings and it's feeding my addiction. I love it and hate it. I know, I know. #firstworldproblems. ...but seriously. I'm trying to move across-country and my storage room is over-run with glitter and wire and feathers. Someone please block me from wholesale floral sites.
I'm the kind of person who wants something really bad and then feels guilty for wanting it so I won't let anyone get it for me. But I won't get it for myself, either, cause I'm a cheap-ass. ...You see my dilemma?
You know what game I really can't stand? Guess who. Not like, the board game, but when someone walks up behind you and covers your eyes like, "Guess who?!" Cause you wanna know what goes through my head, Guess-who-er?
First, I have to think about all the people I've just seen walk in front of me so it couldn't possibly be any of them. Ok, so they're off the list - IF I can remember them all correctly. Now the question is, is the person behind me someone I see all the time so I should be expecting them? Or is this someone I haven't seen in years and I'm in for a big surprise? I don't have a sense of smell, so I can't really go off anything like that. Does the voice sound familiar? You know they always change it. Is everyone around laughing like they know the person or silent like this is someone from a different social circle?
GAMES LIKE THIS ARE TOO MUCH PRESSURE FOR PEOPLE WITH ANXIETY. JUST STOP. ...Please? I can't just guess. i can't. I'm too terrified I'll get it wrong and I just can't handle the pressure.
