This Time
Soundtrack:
All American Tragedy - Knox
This Time - Arrows in Action
Damage- The Band CAMINO
Word Count: 7.9k
__
“Ow! Watch where y— oh, hey, Luke,” Aurora said, her voice switching from annoyed to shy faster than Luke could straighten out the guitar case that had just smashed into the girl’s shoulder.
“Hey, Rory,” Luke answered with an awkward smile. “Sorry ‘bout that. I uh—” he stammered, cheeks turning red. How he had managed to grow up with this girl and still couldn’t figure out how to string more than two words together was beyond his comprehension. The girl who was so proper in her fresh and crisp school uniform. Who never had a bad thing to say about anyone. A girl who shouldn’t give him— a boy who no matter how hard he tried never seemed to have his shit together— the time of day. And yet, every day she’d say “Hey Luke,” in that shy tone and— fuck, she was talking and he hadn’t heard a god damn word.
“Luke?” she repeated, cocking her head to the side in confusion.
He shook his head, clearing it. “S—sorry, what were you saying?”
She smiled. “On your way to practice?” she asked, nodding at the guitar case slung over his shoulder.
“Oh! Heh, yeah.” His eyes glanced over at the clock down the hall. “And the guys are gonna kill me if I’m late again.”
Almost as if on cue, the school door at the end of the hallway slammed open and 2 heads poked in.
“Let’s go, Hemmings!” Calum shouted.
“Stop, he’s finally talking to her!” Michael whisper-shouted at Calum, giving the boy a shove in the process.
Aurora looked at Luke, her own eyes wide, giving Luke a chance to confirm or deny his friends’ proclamations.
Luke shrugged his shoulders, giving her a sheepish grin in response. “We, uh, got a show on Saturday. Maybe I’ll see you there?”
“Maybe you will.”
“Heh, cool. I’ll uh, I’ll be the one on stage.” He walked backwards a few steps, still facing her, waving awkwardly before turning on his heel to follow his friends out and into reality.
“Luke!” Aurora called out, taking a few rushing steps towards him.
He paused in his tracks, looking at her in wonder and confusion.
“You, um, you never told me where on Saturday. Or when.”
Luke brought up a hand to smack himself in the forehead. “Shoot! Right. Uh…”
“Maybe text it to me?” she prompted as he stood there sputtering.
“Great idea! God, you’re so smart,” he muttered, his cheeks permanently stained red as he pulled out his phone and typed.
A few seconds later, her own phone pinged in her pocket. “Well, I guess I’ll see you Saturday,” she told him, before placing a quick kiss on his cheek. “Bye, Luke.” She waved and by the time Luke could make sense of what just happened, Aurora was gone, and her in place were Calum and Michael clapping him on the shoulder.
“Holy crap, did you finally ask her out?” Calum wondered in amazement.
“I think he did!” Michael grinned, and pretended to dab at his eyes. “Our little Lukey is all grown up, Cal!”
~~~
Playing in front of a crowd made Luke nervous on a normal day. But seeing Aurora standing near the front of the stage with a few other girls from their grade? To say his stomach was in knots was the understatement of his lifetime.
“Would you relax?” Calum asked with an annoyed huff. “In case you were still wondering, she likes ya, mate.”
“She does?!” Luke asked, perking up at the idea.
“She’s here, isn’t she?”
Luke waved him off. “Rory’s just nice. And it’s not like I put her in a position to say no.”
“Or,” Ashton put in, “maybe she likes you, Luke. And why wouldn’t she? You’re a likeable guy.”
“Luke the Likeable,” Calum teased, sweeping his hands over the front of Luke’s face like he was imagining their name up on a marquee.
“Super punk rock,” Michael commented.
Luke sat down on the small couch in the room with a defeated sigh. “Seriously… She’s Aurora Hudson. And I’m just Luke. In what world does a girl like her go for a boy like me?”
“Because,” Ashton said, sitting down next to him and placing a gentle hand on his knee. “You are Luke Hemmings. And if that’s not enough for her, so be it. But I’m betting that Cal’s right. She’s here for a reason. And that reason, mate, is you. So go out there on that stage with us, give it your all, kiss the girl after, and figure out the rest later.”
Well, putting it that way seemed easy enough for Luke to manage. So he did.
On stage Luke didn’t let the nerves get to him. He was just a boy playing guitar and singing some songs with his closest friends. And when Aurora came up to congratulate him afterwards, he kissed her. And then he asked to be her boyfriend. And when she said yes, he kissed her again.
~~~
“Mom, Dad, this is Luke,” Aurora introduced a few months later.
“Nice to meet you both,” Luke said politely, offering out his hand. He never had a girlfriend before, so he wasn’t sure how meeting parents worked. But his brothers, and Ashton had told him all roughly the same thing. To be polite, to be himself, and let them know how much he cared for Aurora.
“So Luke,” Mr. Hudson said, gesturing for the boy to sit on the couch. “Rory tells us you’re in a band?”
Luke nodded as he took a seat, Aurora sitting down next to him. “Y—yes, sir. I play guitar and sing sometimes.”
“Mmm,” the man murmured more to himself than to Luke. “And is this band something long term?”
Again, Luke nodded. “Y—yes, sir. It’s something my band mates and I are serious about.”
“I see. And how does my daughter fit into this… fantasy life of yours?”
“Dad!” Aurora gasped in horror.
“I’m not sure I understand the question, sir,” Luke answered as Aurora alternated from glaring at her father to sending pleading looks to her mother to help salvage this meeting gone wrong.
“I think,” Mrs. Hudson finally said, “what my husband is trying to say is that we care about Rory’s future. And while it’s all good and well you have an idealistic look about your own future, we worry it may not be realistic where Rory is concerned.”
“I care about Rory’s future, too,” Luke said. “And my own. I wouldn’t hold Rory back from doing anything that she wants to do. I just want to be part of it, that's all.”
“With all due respect son,” Mr. Hudson told him, “I’m not gonna let my daughter throw her life away for some guitar player in a punk band.”
“Dad!” Aurora gasped again, this time standing up from her spot next to Luke. “I’m not throwing my life away! Jesus, it’s not like he’s dropping out of school to galavant around the world.”
Luke coughed into his hand awkwardly. “Well… about that…”
Two confessions and three screaming matches later, Aurora walked out of her house hand in hand with Luke. “I’m sorry about that,” she apologized as Luke drove them silently away from the house. “I’ve been talking to them about you for a while to prepare them. And I thought once they met you, they would see what I see, and—”
“It’s fine, Rory,” Luke interrupted, reaching over and placing a hand on her thigh. “And if you change your mind about this…” the hand on her thigh lifted so he could spin a finger in a circle before the hand returned to rest on her thigh, “about me, I’ll understand.”
Aurora smiled softly over at Luke, noting the details of his face. The usually soft blue eyes set with an edge of determination. The corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile, but with his teeth biting in his lower lip with worry. A man steadfast in his decisions about his future. But a scared boy all the same. Scared that the girl beside him wouldn’t choose him the way he would always choose her. “Luke, I meant what I told my parents. My future is wherever you are.”
~~~
Six years later found Aurora sitting around the house she shared with Ashton and Luke, wondering where the latter was as the hour grew later and later.
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, trying to stem off an all too familiar wave of what ifs.
“You alright?” Ashton asked from where he was sitting next to Calum, both of the men strumming mindlessly on guitars, compositions books sprawled across the coffee table in front of them.
“Yeah,” she started to lie. “I just— No. I’m not fine.”
Calum quirked an eyebrow in her direction. “You and Luke fighting?”
“Can’t fight someone who’s not around…”
Ashton shared a glance with Calum. Over the years they had naturally developed a bond with Aurora that was as unbreakable as her own bond with Luke. And their own bond with Luke aside, if he was fucking up, they’d tear him to shreds for Aurora’s sake. “This doesn’t sound like a new feeling,” Ashton said, proceeding carefully. “What’s going on?”
She tilted her head back, and tried to steady her breathing. “It’s not,” her voice cracked with raw emotion. “It’s not worth causing a rift.”
Calum set his guitar aside, scooching away from Ashton to create a spot between the men for Aurora to squeeze in between them. “C’mon,” he said, patting the empty spot. “It’s us, Rory. We’ve been through everything together. Don’t tell me you’re scared to talk to us now.”
“I’m not scared,” she ground out through gritted teeth, moving to sit between Ashton and Calum against her better judgement. “I just— I don’t know how to feel anymore. Luke— And this isn’t to talk badly about him because I love him. I truly do. But— How do you know when you think it’s time to let someone go?”
Ashton’s eyes went wide and Calum swore softly. “You’re thinking of breaking up with Luke?” Calum was brave enough to ask.
Aurora only nodded. “We’re just not the same people we were. And I know that that’s supposed to be the point. We grew up. That’s what people are supposed to do. But— I didn’t think we’d grow up like this. That he could grow up to be someone I don’t know.” A shuddering sob broke through as Aurora buried her face in her hands. “What do I do?”
Not knowing what to say, Ashton and Calum each rested a hand on the woman’s shoulders and let her cry. None of them knew how long they sat that way, only that they were still sitting that way when Luke finally came stumbling through the doorway.
“Oh, you’re still u— what’s wrong?” Luke asked, his voice slightly slurred, blue eyes glassy as he took in the scene.
Ashton couldn’t help the protective mentality take over as he rose to his feet. “Please tell me you didn’t drive, Luke.”
Luke waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, cab. What’s going on?”
“Nothing that can’t wait until you’ve sobered up, mate,” Ashton continued, keeping his voice gentle.
Luke rolled his eyes, arms crossing over his chest. “My girl is crying on the couch with you lot over her and it’s ‘nothing that can’t wait’? Pfft, gimme a break.”
“She’s crying over you, you drunk idiot,” Calum scoffed with an eye roll of his own.
Luke blinked slowly. “What?”
Calum rolled his eyes again as he gathered his things. “Nothing. It’s not my business. And Ash,” he added, throwing a warning glance at the other man. “It’s not yours either. But Rory, however you want to handle this, do it when he’s sober. And we’ll be okay. All of us. We’re gonna be okay.”
Luke blinked again, having absolutely zero clue what covert ass shit Calum was spewing, and frankly not giving a damn. All he knew was drunk or not, he wanted to know why Aurora was crying.
“Not tonight, mate,” Ashton told him, and Luke wondered momentarily if he had spoken his thoughts out loud or if Ashton was just that good at reading people.
“Please, Luke,” Aurora whispered, “Let’s just go to bed.”
Luke nodded, accepting that. Accepting that in the morning, everyone could brush off whatever the fuck was happening in this moment.
But when Luke woke up the next morning to find the bed empty, he had a feeling nothing about last night was going to be easy to undo.
“Morning,” he greeted Aurora when he found her in the kitchen, placing a kiss on top of her head. “Sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be out so late. I didn’t drive though, if that was your concern,” he explained as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
Aurora shook her head from where she sat at the table, sipping on her own coffee. “It wasn’t. But that’s good to know. Maybe Ash can drive you later to pick up your car.”
“Yeah, and you can come with us and then we’ll go off and do our own thing. Spend the day together,” he suggested. “Been a minute since we’ve gotten to do that.” He leaned against the kitchen counter, his coffee mug cradled in his hands as he looked at her, a hopeful smile on his lips.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? Is this about whatever happened last night? Look, I said I was sorry. And now I want to try to make it up to you. Why can’t I do that, baby? Why can’t I apologize and then try to make up for whatever stupid shit I did or didn’t do?”
“Because that in itself is the problem Luke. You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.”
He set the mug down next to him with a rattle. “Then why don’t you tell me,” he said, raking his hands through his hair and letting out a frustrated sigh. “God, I have no idea what’s fuckin’ happening, baby, but can’t you see I’m trying to fix it? Could you maybe stop being cryptic and help me out here?”
“There’s nothing to fix, Luke.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” He laughed in frustration as he raked his hands through his hair again. “I— God, I feel like I’m losing you, baby. Is that what’s happening right now? Am I losing you? Are you breaking up with me?”
Aurora didn’t say anything as a tear slid down her cheek.
Luke felt his heart crack wide open in his chest. “Please tell me this isn’t happening,” he begged, feeling his throat close up, his hands now permanently tangled in his hair as he tried to process what Aurora was saying, or more accurately what she wasn’t saying. “I— We love each other. Don’t we?”
She nodded. “Yes, of course,” she assured him, her voice wobbling a little but holding steady. God, how long as she’d been thinking this over to be this stable? This okay with letting him go while he just fucking stood there like a blindsided idiot. “But it’s not that simple anymore, Luke.”
“Baby, please. Tell me how to fix this. I— do we need to talk to Ash about getting a place without him? Do you want to go pick out wedding rings? What do you need from me? Please. Anything. Whatever it takes. Whatever you want. It’s yours. Just please. Baby, I’ve been in love with you my whole life. I don’t know how to do any of this without you.” As he spoke, he crossed over to her, falling on his knees in front of her, grabbing her hands in his and clinging on as tightly as he could. This couldn’t be how it ended. God, how could he be so blind to not see this coming?
“I don’t think there’s anything to fix, Luke. We just— we grew up.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing!” she said, yanking her hands out of Luke’s grasp, her chair scraping harshly against the kitchen floor. “Nothing… We’re just not the same people anymore.”
“And the person you are isn’t in love with the person I am,” Luke concluded.
“I’m always going to love you, Luke.”
“Then fuckin’ try with me, Rory! I’m literally on my fuckin’ knees for you! Just— Can you at least tell me what changed? How you can seem so okay with letting go while I’ve been clueless to this the whole time? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t I know?!”
“It’s just something that happened Luke. A trajectory of little things that snow balled and now I don’t know how to stop it.”
“But maybe I do! Maybe I can stop it! Rory… Baby… Please,” Luke sobbed into his hands. “What the fuck is happening?!”
“One day we were 17, and then we were 23. That’s what happened.”
“So what? Are you saying that I somehow held you back? You chose this life with me, Rory! I asked you if this was what you wanted every step of the way! And every time you said that your future was wherever I was!” He raised his head to look at her, anger, confusion, and heartbreak etched on every part of his perfect face.
“You also said you would understand if I changed my mind!”
“So that’s it? You changed your mind?”
“Yeah…”
His fists came down on the floor next to him. “That’s not good enough!” he exploded, rising to his feet. “That’s not a good enough reason! I— I still don’t understand! You say that you love me, but you can’t stay with me?! Make it make sense, baby, I’m begging you!”
“I’m going to stay with Cal for a while. Figure out my next move. But I can’t do this anymore Luke. I’ve tried to work through it in my head for so long and I can’t seem to find a way out. A way where this doesn’t hurt. But we don’t know each other anymore. And I can’t keep holding onto something that doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
He sniffed, wiping at his face, the finality of it all settling in. She was Aurora Hudson, and once she made up her mind, that was it. And he was still Luke, the boy who loved her long before he even knew what love meant. “And you’re sure of this? You’re sure there’s nothing I can do to fix it? I just have to accept it? I can’t fight for you?”
“I’m so sorry, Luke.”
“Yeah… yeah me too… But I said I would understand so I’m gonna try.”
~~~
A year and a city change later, Aurora was packing up her guitar case when a trio of men approached her. Two of them were tall, the third one about her own height, and all of them wore matching friendly smiles.
“Hey,” one of the tall ones spoke first, his tone as warm and friendly as the smile on his face. “You’re Rory, yeah? From the coffee shop off of Holt?”
Alarm bells went off in her head as she crossed her arms. “Can I help you?” she asked, avoiding the question.
The man laughed. “Sorry, that was terrible. I meant, I’ve seen you working there a few times. We’re friends with the owner. I’m Matt, and this is Jesse and Vic.”
She looked them all up and down, her face staying neutral. “That’s nice…?”
The short one, Vic, coughed into his hand. “Sorry we’re kinda bad at this. Uh, we noticed your set. Are you the musician type?”
She snorted, “Oh, if only you knew.”
“Well, that’s kinda the point… We’re a band and we lost our bassist a while back. You wouldn’t be interested in joining forces sometime, would you?”
She blinked at them. Her life had been on a near permanent display for the better part of her short adulthood. And now these three were approaching her with a band prospect? They were either clueless or reckless. Possibly both. “You want me to join your band?”
“Well not in so many words,” Vic told her. “Like look, we’re not much. But we got a pretty solid following and can help you get out of playing college bars if you’re interested.”
She snorted again, “Respectfully, I don’t need help getting a following. I have plenty of connections of my own.”
Jesse, the other tall one whistled low, rocking back on the heels of his feet. “Okay, this is going like really badly. We’re not trying to offend you or make it sound like we know what we’re doing. We just like your sound and think it could mesh well with ours. But like, there’s no hard feelings. You don’t know us, and we certainly don’t know you. But the offer’s out there if you’re ever interested.”
Aurora shook her head, clearing it. “Sorry… you don’t know me?”
“Are we supposed to?” Matt asked with a nervous chuckle.
“N— No! I mean… Most people do. Not that it’s a bad thing that you don’t. That’s actually—“ She laughed in relief. “That’s actually really fuckin’ great.”
“Yeah…” Vic said slowly. “Anyway, like we were saying, we’re looking for a bassist if you’re interested.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that would be great,” Aurora smiled.
~~~
An hour later, Aurora was sitting on the floor of Matt and Vic’s living room, having deja vu flashes of similar moments in the home she once shared with Ashton and Luke. “So you’re both in relationships, and you’re just Vic?” she clarified with a laugh. “But you’re the front man, how does that happen?”
Vic laughed with her, shrugging his shoulders. “Just the way the cards were dealt, man. Like I tried dating. Shit just didn’t stick. I’m not lucky that way like these two.”
She raised her White Claw can in a cheer, Vic clinking his own can into hers. “I hear you on that. I’ve had one relationship and—” Aurora let her voice trail off. “Well, I just don’t really date anymore because of it. Especially musicians.”
“Damn, and here I thought I had a shot,” Vic joked, clutching dramatically at his chest. “Just love gone wrong or what?”
“Eh, something like that. We got together when we were kids. And then his band got really successful. And one day it just didn’t seem like we knew each other anymore. So I left.”
Vic whistled low, knowingly. “Amen to that.”
“What band?” Jesse asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. “If we’re swapping war stories anyway.”
Aurora rubbed at the back of her neck. “Uh… 5 Seconds of Summer?”
Matt’s White Claw came out his nose. “Excuse me? Ow.. shit, that burned. What the fuck did you say?”
Aurora laughed, and shrugged sheepishly. “Yeah, I dated Luke for about 6 and a half years.”
“You’re THAT Rory?!” Jesse spluttered. “Holy shit… fuck no wonder you told us to fuck off.”
“I did not tell you to fuck off.”
“Maybe not in those words,” Vic amended, “but the tone was there. But holy shit. So, you’re not fucking around when you say you have connections?”
“Nope,” she grinned. “I’m really not. Got Ashton Irwin on speed dial still. They’re great guys. A lot like you actually.” She sniffed at the realization, rubbing at her nose. “Shit, sorry. It’s uh, still hard sometimes. It was the 5 of us for so long.”
“Nothing to be sorry about it, they’re part of your story,” Vic said, reaching to lay a hand on her thigh, the gesture both comforting and strangely intimate. “And uh, if you ever wanna use that part of your story to help out the new part of your story…” he added suggestively.
Matt shoved him, “Shut up, Vic, don’t ruin it.”
“Yeah, Victor!” Jess fake scolded.
Aurora laughed for what felt like the millionth time, each laugh feeling more genuine than the last. Like she finally belonged again. “Maybe let’s try being a band before I go making phone calls. Make sure I like y’all first.”
~~~
It was another year before she made that phone call. A year of building a bond with the three members of Arrows in Action and getting accustomed to life with them. A year in where, for the first time in a long time, Aurora truly felt like herself and had a place where she belonged. No longer a shadow following around Luke like a lost puppy.
The realization was both terrifying and freeing. At the time when she had ended things with Luke, she had thought he was the stranger she grew to not know. But it turned out that she was the stranger all along. Sure, there had been parts of Luke that she wasn’t overly fond of. The party boy image that fame tried to paint him as and that he played into was tough to swallow even at the best moments. But at his heart, the heart he loved her with, he had always been Luke. And she had completely shattered his heart with no real reasoning. At least not a reasoning she had been able to explain at the time. She just threw his words to her in his face like that was reason enough and left.
And now her hand was shaking as she held the phone, Ashton’s contact pulled up on the screen. Contacting Ashton seemed easier than contacting Luke directly. He had always been like an older brother, watching out for all of them. If anyone would answer and be glad it was her on the other end— who wouldn’t make her feel like shit for leaving all of them— it would be Ashton. But, God, if her hand could stop shaking, and if she could just bring herself to hit the damn call icon.
A hand reached around her wrist, steadying the shaking. “You don’t have to do this,” Vic said softly. “We’ve been managing just fine on our own.”
She smiled at the man she had shared a home with for the past several months. Moving in with Vic had been such a natural choice when Matt moved out to his own place with his girlfriend. Ending up in his bed on occasion had been just as easy. They had made it clear from the start that it was just for fun. A way to blow off steam without risking their hearts or time with someone else. And it made sense to be together with each other that way. They had an understanding of how deep the relationship trauma of first love gone horribly wrong that others just didn’t get. And despite the fact that each of them bore too many similarities of their exes that it was almost unnerving, the fact that they bore no physical resemblances made it easier to remember where the line was.
Jesse and Matt had accepted what Aurora and Vic became on the sole condition that the band came first. Which Aurora and Vic were more than okay to agree with.
“I want to do this, Vic. Not just for you guys. But for me too. And honestly, a little bit for them too. It wasn’t just Luke’s heart I broke by leaving. I broke theirs, too. And they didn’t get an explanation from me, either.”
Vic nodded. “I understand. But I also understand if you don’t make the call. I’ll support you either way. We all will.”
He squeezed her hand and gave her a quick kiss for good luck. Aurora took a breath to steady herself and hit the call icon.
“Hello, you’ve reached the one and only Ashton Irwin. How lucky for you,” Ashton’s voice sounded after the third ring.
“Shit, I think I got his voicemail,” Aurora said out loud for Vic’s sake. “Uh, hey Ash. It’s me. Rory.”
“Rory?!” Ashton’s voice asked back over the line.
“This isn’t your voicemail?”
Ashton laughed. “No! Who would make their voicemail message be that?”
“Who answers the phone like that?” she laughed back.
“I dunno, thought I’d try it out,” Ashton giggled some more before sighing. “God, Rory, is that really you? How are you? Where are you?”
She could hear the protectiveness building so she quickly cut him off with a “I’m fine, Ash. Everything is fine. Great, even. I just uh, well, I had a question for you, if you’ve got some time to talk.”
“I always have time for you, Rory. Lay it on me.”
~~~
“Yeah, no problem at all. Yeah, it was great talking to you too. See you soon, Rory. Thanks for calling,” Ashton said, before ending the call.
When he turned, three sets of bewildered eyes were staring at him. Calum was the quickest to recover enough to say, “Rory?”
“As in the Rory?” Michael asked.
“My Rory?” Luke’s question came out in a small squeak, wondering if he was dreaming.
Ashton grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. “The one and only. She uh, she’s asking us to come to Nashville. And, well, I probably should have asked you guys how you felt about it first but—”
“When’s the next flight to Nashville?” Luke asked.
“Whoa, slow down, mate,” Ashton encouraged.
“Slow down? Ash, it’s Rory. If she’s asking for us, we’re going. Case closed.”
“Case open, actually. Look, Luke, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but she called me.”
“You’re not gonna stop me from getting on that plane, Ash.”
Ashton held up his hands in surrender. “Take a beat, Luke. I never said I was.”
“Then, why are we still standing around? Let’s fuckin’ go!”
“Luke, slow down,” Ashton said, his voice low and threatening. “Let me explain everything first.”
Luke let out a huff of air through his nose, but waved a hand for Ashton to proceed. The sooner Ashton said his piece, the sooner he could be on that plane to Nashville. To Rory.
“So, to be clear, we’re not going out there to re-hash or start shit. We’re just going out there to listen to this band she’s part of to see if we have a new opening act. Strictly business. And if this is too difficult for anyone, there’s no hard feelings of staying here. And if it’s too difficult after seeing her that even one of us can’t stomach it, we leave it at that. Rory understands either way, but she wants to at least give her band a shot. So, who’s coming to Nashville with me?”
All three hands shot up. “It’s Rory, mate,” Calum said.
“Yeah, you really didn’t have to do all that, we were in the second you ended the call,” Michael added.
They all looked at Luke, quirking eyebrows at his raised hand. “You sure about this, Luke?” Ashton asked.
Luke only nodded. “I’ll be professional,” he promised. “But then… I need some answers. We all do. So I want to talk to her afterwards. I’ll catch a separate flight home if needed, but— I need to talk to her.”
The other three men nodded in understanding. It hadn’t been easy handling the loss of Rory and the impact it had on Luke. A struggle two years in the making. And facing Rory again might set them all back to square one. Or it might finally fix everything that had broken in her absence. And there was only one way to find out.
~~~
“Nervous?” Vic asked as his lips stamped a kiss right below her ear.
“About what? Seeing my ex after two years and showing off my world to him and hoping he likes it more than he hates me? Pfft, why would that make me nervous?”
“Luke would be stupid to hate you,” Vic assured her.
“I wouldn’t blame him if he did though.”
“I know that it’s useless for me to say this because you’re gonna worry anyway, but don’t stress too much, okay? Just let today play out however it plays out. If they’re half the men you claim they are, they’ll be able to set their personal feelings aside for this. Or at the very least they’ll be honest if that’s their reasoning for not wanting to give us a chance.”
“I hope you’re right, Vic.”
He gave her a tight hug. “Ready to confront the past?”
“Will we last if I don’t?” she asked, cracking a grin at the reference despite herself.
“Us Arrows will keep in Actioning no matter what happens,” Jesse piped up from where he was standing watch by the front window. “By the way a cab just pulled up.”
“Battle stations!” Matt declared.
Aurora laughed, appreciating all their efforts to help defuse the tension. “Alright, let’s do this.”
The doorbell rang, and every thought of how Aurora imagined this moment playing out disappeared from her head when she pulled the door open and Ashton swept her into a crushing bear hug. “God, I’ve fuckin’ missed you!” he beamed at her as he set her on her feet. “Wow,” he continued beaming, holding her out at arm’s length. “Yup, you’re still Rory.”
“Hi, Ash. I’ve missed you too. All of you,” she smiled at him and at Calum, Luke, and Michael crowding the porch step behind him, before sweeping her arm for them to all come inside, “C’mon in.”
“We totally voted on who would get to hug you first, and then Ash overruled the vote,” Calum complained, giving Aurora a hug as he followed Ashton inside the house. “It’s so good to fuckin’ see you,” he whispered before letting Michael have his turn.
“We’ve really missed you,” Michael told her when he hugged her. “But looks like you’ve kept busy,” he added with an eyebrow waggle at the other three men all crammed together on the couch to make room for the newest arrivals.
“You’re really gonna like them, Michael,” she grinned. “Jesse and Matt are big gamers.”
“That’s my girl!” Michael whooped in triumph. “Finally, people who get me.”
Luke let each of his bandmates have their reunion moment with Aurora, lingering out on the porch, his heart hammering in his chest. He thought he was ready for this. He felt his throat starting to close, unwelcome tears springing into his eyes. He blinked furiously, looking skyward, hoping gravity would reverse the tears back into his eyes.
“Luke?” Aurora asked him, her voice too quiet, the hand she placed on his arm too gentle. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Really?”
“Of course I am. I’ve missed you.”
“Then why’d you call Ash instead of me?” The question came out cracked, wobbly, and without permission. “I—” Luke cleared his throat, clamping down tightly on the emotions swirling up inside him. “Sorry, I promised the guys I wouldn’t do this.”
“It’s okay, Luke. Take all the time you need.”
He took a shuddering breath, then wrapped her tightly in his arms, her head instinctively tucking up her chin. He inhaled deeply, her familiar scent and feel of her in his arms grounding him. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he murmured in her hair.
Her arms snaked around his waist, holding him just as tightly, reveling in the fact that for all that may have changed between them, at least they still fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces. “I think I have a pretty accurate idea, actually,” she whispered into his chest.
They stood there locked in their embrace for at least long enough for the men waiting inside to start clearing their throats loudly, while drumming on their legs, muttering half awkward pleasantries.
Aurora and Luke let go at the same moment, each stepping back and sharing a small laugh, each going to wipe at the tears on the other’s face and laughing some more. “C’mon, let me introduce you to everyone.”
~~~
After a round of introduction, Matt dragged the chairs from the kitchen table into the living room so there would be more places to sit. Once everyone had a seat— Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Michael in the kitchen chairs, Aurora on the couch sandwiched between Matt and Vic, and Jesse at the desk in the corner— Jesse took the lead of playing some of the Arrows in Action discography, talking at lengths afterwards about the process and who contributed what.
Calum and Michael were captivated, asking more questions about the process and who was doing the production of each song.
“Well, originally it was me and Matt. We worked with some producers in the past who taught us a few tricks and whatnot. And we shell out the money for when we actually put together our albums. But day to day production has usually been me and Matt. Until Rory came along anyway. Said she did it in college, right, Rory?”
Aurora and Michael nodded at the same time. “Yeah, Rory did more college than all of us,” Michael said, and Aurora noted the pride in his voice. “Calum and I took a few courses with her in music production though. Figured it would be a good skill to know.”
“Yeah, and Rory mentioned you guys taught her how to play the bass and stuff. Are you guys self-taught?” Matt asked, always eager to know about how a musician became a musician.
“More or less,” Ashton said. “Learned on our own or from those around us. I think Luke was the only one who got actual lessons.”
“Hey, Michael and I sold out stadiums on Guitar Hero. Respect the hustle, Ash,” Calum interjected, earning a laugh from everyone in the room. “But seriously, on a business front, your guys’ sound is some solid shit. And from a former best friend front, Rory, I think I speak for all of us when I say how fuckin’ proud I am of you. You did good for yourself. Real good. I just wish— I— nevermind, not my place.”
Aurora smiled softly at the man. “I know. And thank you.” She turned her gaze from Calum to look at all the 5SOS members— her former friends and brothers, and the only love of her life. “I really appreciate that you guys took the time to come out for me despite everything. And while I’m truly sorry and would love to explain it all to each of you, I think there’s a song that Vic and I wrote that better explains my head space back then. Jesse?”
“On it,” the man said, understanding his cue and hitting play on This Time.
Keychains and flowers couldn’t fix what I was
Silence and habit made me think we could keep this
What doesn’t kill me makes me worse than I was
If I close my eyes then it still feels like the first kiss
Nothing is quite the same
But we just keep avoiding this
Speak slowly, couldn’t know me
We won’t confront the past
Despite the fact that if we don’t then this won’t last
Maybe this time was the last time
I think we’re running out of luck
Maybe enough was just too much
“Wow…” Luke murmured to himself as silence crashed down around the room. “That was… Jesus, Rory, all that was in your head that whole time? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Aurora shrugged, her lower lip starting to quiver. “I don’t know,” she mouthed, the words coming out with no sound.
“Maybe this would be a good time to show you guys our makeshift studio,” Matt said, standing up quickly.
“That is a great idea,” Vic seconded, also standing up.
Everyone else with the exception of Aurora and Luke followed suit, Matt leading the charge out to the studio that was really just the garage, Vic squeezing Aurora’s shoulder on his way out as a silent confirmation that he had her back however this conversation played out.
“Okay…” Luke said slowly once they were alone. “Can I just say that I hate whatever that was?”
“Whatever what was?” Aurora asked, confused. “The songs?”
“What? No, those are amazing. You and him.”
“Me and Vic? You’re joking.”
“No, I’m not fuckin’ joking. I— God, Rory, is it so wrong of me to hate that you basically replaced me? Replaced us?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I didn’t replace anybody. And you’re seriously gonna sit there and act like you haven’t slept with anybody since me?”
Luke’s mouth gaped open both at the accusation and the confession that her and Vic were at least somewhat together romantically. “I— Well, no. Of course I’ve slept with other people. But I’m not in a relationship with those girls, either.”
“Who said Vic and I were in a relationship?”
Luke gestured around the house. “You fuckin’ live with him for fuck’s sake!”
Aurora tipped her head back, roaring with laughter. “Oh my God, could you just admit that you’re jealous?”
“Fine, I’m jealous! I’m jealous as hell, Rory. Like c’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t see all the similarities between us and these guys.”
“Of course I see the similarities, Luke. Which is why Vic and I are not together. Look— Vic and I understand each other, that’s all. We both had this one great love, and we both royally fucked it up because we couldn’t face the truth. And yeah, we hook up sometimes. But it’s to prevent us from hooking up with someone else and risking everything we fought so hard to move on from. From something I don’t think I’ll ever move on from.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know if that’s supposed to make me feel better or not. I— I’m not sure what to feel actually.”
“Join the club.”
“I— Can I ask one question? We don’t have to hash out our whole past, but there’s a question I once asked you and I dunno… I feel like I never got a real answer. What happened? Cuz I’ve tried so many times to put the pieces together in my head, trying to figure out what went wrong, and I just end up more confused.”
Aurora sighed, slumping into the couch cushions. “At first I thought that you had become a stranger to me. Like one day we were 17 and I knew everything about you, and the next day we were 23 and I had no idea who you were. And a part of me still thinks that’s true. I mean obviously you weren’t the same anymore. Honestly, the drinking and partying version of you was really hard to handle. But the part that scared me the most was that I changed and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Like you and the guys were all finding yourselves as you grew as a band. And I just ended up getting more and more lost. And no matter what I tried to do to find me, I just ended up more lost. It wasn’t that you became a stranger to me, Luke. I became a stranger to myself.”
“Ba— Rory, I would have helped you through that. We all would have. Why didn’t you say something?”
She shook her head and shrugged. “I— I don’t think it would have mattered. It wasn’t something I could fix by staying with you. Like slowly over time I went from being Aurora Hudson to just being the girl dating Luke Hemmings of 5SOS. I didn’t have an identity to myself that wasn’t somehow tied to you. And that was terrifying. Like I was just a kid, Luke. I didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that I was so fuckin’ lost and needed to find myself. It absolutely fuckin’ sucked that there was nothing to pin the blame on— no way to fix it by staying with you. Do you really think I would have left you if I thought there was another way for me to save me from myself?! Of course I would have stayed with you! But I was just a fuckin’ kid, Luke!”
“I was a fuckin kid, too!” he shouted, standing up suddenly and pointing a shaking finger in front of her face. “I was a fuckin’ kid too, Rory. And I fuckin’ loved you. And you said your future was wherever I was and like a fuckin’ idiot I believed you, because I stupidly thought you loved me too!”
She rose to her feet too, matching his anger with her own. “I did, Luke! I fuckin’ did! I loved you with everything I fuckin’ had and if I had a fuckin’ time machine I would go back and re-do this whole fuckin’ thing! Because even after all this time, I’m still fuckin’ in love with you! But I don’t think that matters anymore.” She slumped back down onto the couch, defeated and exhausted.
“Of course it fuckin’ matters! It fuckin’ matters because I’m still in love with you, too! And I tried not to be! God, I tried so fuckin’ hard to get over you! I turned into the worst version of myself because what was the point of being the best version of myself if you wouldn’t love me anyway?!” His chest heaved as the words spilled in an angry flurry. “And then— I don’t exactly know but everything was a complete fuckin’ mess and then I got sober. Well… sort of. I cleaned up my act. Severely limited my drinking and partying habits. 1.) because no matter how drunk or sober I was I still saw you in everything I did and at least being sober didn’t leave me with the wicked hangover in addition to the heartache 2.) because I stupidly thought that maybe if I put myself back together then maybe you’d come back. Like we were connected on a level that I couldn’t understand and you would know and you would come back because that’s what happens in all the romance books and movies you like so much. And then you called. And you called fuckin’ Ashton.”
Aurora tried to laugh at that but it came out as a half garbled sob. “I thought you would hang up. I thought you hated me. I would hate me. Fuck, I do hate me.”
“Aurora Marie Hudson, I have been in love with you since I was six fuckin’ years old. And absolutely nothing since then has ever changed that. And nothing ever will.”
“So if you kiss me right now, and we both close our eyes, do you think we can be 17 again?”
Despite everything, Luke chuckled as he sat down next to her, his arm going across her shoulders. “No. No, I don’t think that.”
“Oh, I see,” she mumbled, looking down to study the tips of her shoes. If after all this he was going to reject her, she didn’t want to bear witness to it, even if she would deserve it. She was stupid to think that it could really be that simple. That a slight screaming match voicing years of pent up truths would be the magic needed to fix everything.
Luke’s fingers hooked up under her jaw, forcing her to look up at him as he again shifted, leaning down to help close what little distance between them remained. “I think that if I kiss you, we’ll stay 25. But this time we’ll be better. Better at figuring our shit out. Together. The way we were meant to. And I’m scared to close my eyes because I don’t want to miss hearing you say—”
“My future is wherever you are,” she whispered, as their lips connected.