#source: malachichi

[beelzeboobs-central]

Lucifer: Everyone, pick a buddy, hold their hand Asmo: Hiii buddy Solomon: I would like to formally request a different buddy Lucifer: It's either him or Mephisto Solomon: Hi buddy.

[incorrectnnt]

Howzer: dude, me an Elizabeth go waaaaaay back.

Meliodas: *pulls out a knife* do you wanna fucking die?

Escanor: oh he has a knife.

[beelzeboobs-central]

[about Lucifer] Barbatos: His power level's not even over 9000

Diavolo: NOT EVEN OVER 9000? Maybe he's just hiding it!! Barbatos: The only thing he's hiding is his sexuality Diavolo: NO HE'S NOT! That's clear as day, he's clearly gay

[beelzeboobs-central]

Mephisto: Never thought I'd be so bricked up at work Raphael: You work in construction?

[beelzeboobs-central]

Lucifer: We're going to an amusement park, is there anyone you'd like to invite? Asmo: My bitches Mephisto: My boyfriend? Levi: You don't have any bitches, stupid Asmo: I got bitches. I got three bitches that are coming. doorbell rings Lucifer: You already invited them? Mephisto: I hope that's my boyfriend Lucifer: How did you know that this was happening already? Asmo: Cuz I got bitches Satan: Can I bring my realtor? I was thinking about buying the amusement park...

[beelzeboobs-central]

Thirteen: Raphael! It's always god this, god that! Why don't you be the god of some bitches!!? Raphael: *turns around and leaves silently*

[beelzeboobs-central]

Diavolo: That's not Satan, that's Lucifer. He's like a sexier version of you Satan: WHAT

[beelzeboobs-central]

Lucifer: Oh my god. How did you get in my car? MC: It's not that hard. I have powers. What're you doing here? Lucifer: Going on a double date MC: Are you open? Lucifer: No MC: I guess I'll just go with him Lucifer: How did YOU get in here?? Mammon: I was in the glove compartment