“i will never de-center men” obviously caught my eye when i first saw it. i saved it thinking it would just lean into patriarchal thinking.
i’m glad i was wrong. i’m actually quite emotional right now. i feel heavy… perhaps with grief, maybe empathy. op speaks about their childhood rape in a selectively detailed way. the repetition and the italicized him; scenes of their everyday— nothing much at first but over the course of the article become corroded by their trauma.
what i understood was that the “de-centering men” mantra (trend ?) is not trauma inclusive. which speaks on online feminism as well.
this makes me wonder how the mantra can be more trauma inclusive—to where someone like op doesn’t lose hope in the practice. even with the traumatic experience, there could be a way of giving it less power, for the body to heal and become desensitized to typical triggers
when the doomscroll finally turns into something noteworthy,,
op describes their experience with watching jjba and how it reflects or enriches their journey of being nonbinary. you don’t have to get rid of more “sensitive” parts of yourself to be taken more seriously; it’s okay to let go of old versions of yourself (and old traditions/customs) to make room for something new and more true to yourself; and the path of self discovery isn’t straightforward, set backs are expected, but persist to a point you’re satisfied with who you are
lemme show u something that resonated with me
which of these are actually mine?
this is a process i’m going through now honestly, it was nice to see it articulated here.
somewhat unrelated (for whenever i take this into the digital garden) but i don’t correct ppl irl. i’m frequently clocked—for lack of better words, 2 am type shit—as a woman. it surprises me that i haven’t become numb to the feeling yet. instead, it’s just something i’ve accepted that will happen, and don’t correct anyone out of fear. it genuinely makes my day when im misgendered as a man, though. it’s happening more frequently, which obv makes me happy. i strive for the initial confusion, the stutter of “which one..?” upon first meeting.
i typically have to quietly reassure myself that i am nonbinary, since i don’t receive that validation irl. my online peers are much better about this. altho, it just feels easier to tell them more queer sides of myself. there are irls who have changed their vocabulary for me, which i have deeply appreciated. i tend to smile a little wider, and engage more when they see me for ME !! :) i also just need to get better at confrontation, instead of rationalizing it. i would speak up for someone else, but not myself? so silly of me honestly!
wow i’m reading badmouthing as im decompressing for the day (a substack pub) and the writer’s voice is so distinct and insanely funny. (i read “substack is still social media u cunt” and “FUCK NOTES!”)
they are direct, raw and unapologetic with their words. unyielding with their thoughts on substack as a platform and how shallow users and the platform itself has become (based off the last couple articles i have read)
i might read more tonight. i still feel like being on my phone but i fear im consuming bc i feel the need to consume, instead of consuming mindfully.
stop using ur notes app essay on substack but i use tumblr n NOT my notes app !!
essay is by megan of typewriter time
quote—
“… I can’t remember the last time I was scrolling in my notes app to find a specific thing I remembered writing there. I always seem to use it as a written out pinterest board instead.”
just had the moment of. “wow this actually goes hard” bc it’s such a great description of all the miscellaneous creative tidbits stored on our notes apps
after reading the article tho, OP is stressing the importance of using physical media by using anecdotes. she’s a writer and i think that’s what kept me reading. now that she keeps a messy, chaotic but alive “creative writing only” journal, she slows down and is more intentional with journaling but also her process with writing. digital notes r also a out of sight out of mind type of thing. u forget abt it eventually then come back almost surprised you wrote the note.
one interesting thing she also mentioned was comparing closing an app vs closing a journal. you can close the app but since it’s on your phone, the thought still lingers and it doesn’t give you the satisfaction of putting something “away.” physical journals do, tho. you can shelve or store it away and dusts off your hands feeling a bit of weight is lifted off your shoulders.
one thing i found myself disagreeing on tho (as im note taking) is how we make the note and then forget. it’s definitely a case by case scenario but im sure there are people that reference their notes app a lot for their creative endeavors.
