Person A: You really wanna go there with me?
Person B: Oh, I went there, bought a house and moved in, bitch. And now I'm remodeling the kitchen.
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Person A: You really wanna go there with me?
Person B: Oh, I went there, bought a house and moved in, bitch. And now I'm remodeling the kitchen.
Person A: Can you please cut me a little bit of slack?
Person B: “Slack”?!
Person A: SLACK!
Person B:
Person A: I have been here for less than two weeks. I’ve been starved out… felt up… teased… stalked… threatened… and CALLED TAYLOR SWIFT!
Person A, trying to pray: Dear Jesus-
Person B: That's awfully familiar for someone who doesn't give him the time of day.
Person A: Dear... Mr. Christ?
Person A: Have you ever seen that movie, the one where there's the cowboy and he's, like, the 'king of the castle' and then this astronaut shows up and tries to take over and so the cowboy attempts to murder him, but instead the astronaut is taken hostage by, like, this evil psychopath and the cowboy has to rescue him and then they end up becoming really good friends?
Person B: Toy story?
Person A: Oh my god! Toy Story! That's it, that's it. I love that movie.
Person A: You know why they call me The Sparrow?
Person B: Because you made it up. No one calls you that. Your name is Person A.
Person A: You should style your hair. I think a nice faux hawk will give that "don't fuck with me" vibe, y'know?
Person B: I mostly use my face for that.
Person A, about Person C: They gave me that look that makes my ass leak.
Person B: I am familiar with that look.
Person A: I think I've moved beyond stress to something more deeply disturbing.