#southern native

[tangerineseed]

Happy Indigenous Peoples day! may our people thrive and let's celebrate our determination and resiliance today!

[falkonryderz]

[yaqamole]

THE SUN

UPRIGHT: Positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitality

REVERSED: Inner child, feeling down, overly optimistic

[yaqamole]

My dad and I have a difficult relationship. It’s one that’s been damaged because of a lot of things. His alcoholism especially being a big part of what destroyed my ability to ever put my faith in him entirely because no matter how many times he promised, he slipped.

And sometimes it’s not his fault. Sometimes my family mocks him for being sober and pushes him until he breaks.

But it doesn’t mean I’m not devastated and hurt.

Still, despite that and the struggle of being able to fully trust my dad, nothing means more to me than when he looked me in the eyes and said he was proud of me.

I don’t think he understands how much I craved hearing those words for years. Constantly chasing dreams, pushing myself to my limits, ignoring my mental health, and doing everything and anything for just a shred of my parents’ attention.

How many extracurriculars I dropped because nobody showed up to my games, recitals, or competitions. How many chances I turned away from because it didn’t feel worth it anymore.

And now I’m back in college after having dropped out because of COVID, I’m learning Nahuatl, I’m engaging and thrilled with our cultural practices that I was denied for so long. I have an ancestor altar in the works as I learn the names of those who fought until the end to preserve who we are.

And my dad looking me in the eyes, hugging me, kissing my forehead - all for the first time in years. And for him to tell me he’s so proud of me..

Nothing on this Earth I’ll ever treasure more than that.

I’m doing what he couldn’t and it’s been a hard, confusing, and lonely journey to reconnect and break the cycles colonization forced on my family. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I’m native. I know who I am. And I am happy.

[yaqamole]

My parents raised me on the lie that we were European because they were made to feel ashamed of being indigenous.

So perhaps my journey to self love has been odd and complicated but frankly I dislike the amount of people who treat me as lesser because it turns out I'm not a little Spanish/Italian doll for them to use to talk down on other natives.

[dodinaslesavage]

[dodinaslesavage]

[falkonryderz]

Blackfoot "Southern Native" /// official video featuring Rickey Medlocke