To prove that this blog is in fact not dead, 8 months on from its last post and having achieved nothing of any great significance in that time I have made the decision to “jump the shark”. I present to you the masterpiece of the century, “Rtas ‘Vadum serves Miles Edgeworth at Burger King”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“And would you like fries with that, human?”
The Half-Jaw leaned awkwardly on the counter. As part of a diplomatic program to improve human-sangheili relations, the Arbiter Thel ‘Vadam had decided to purchase a franchise of a popular human fast food chain. He then made the obvious decision to assign his finest Shipmaster, Rtas ‘Vadum, to manage this franchise. The Arbiter did not consider however, that very few sangheili were particularly keen to go into a line of work requiring them to act in servitude to humans. This lack of staff had lead to the Half-Jaw being asked to man the tills himself on a near daily basis. This was not the most honourable position for the commander of the Shadow of Intent, but he begrudgingly agreed to comply on the promise of a better future for his people
The man in the burgundy suit awkwardly shuffled in place, staring intently at the menu ahead of him. “Erm... well... perhaps...” “YES!” The Half-Jaw looked behind the floundering patron to see a considerably more enthused female human sitting next to a male in a blue suit. The customer’s shoulders sagged as he looked directly at the Half-Jaw. “Yes... yes we will.” “As you wish human. Will that be all?” “I... suppose so.” The Shipmaster’s mandibles trembled as he punched the man’s order into the computer. He knew that following company policy he was required to speak the infernal phrase, and while he technically answered only to the Arbiter himself he also knew that he needed to set an example for the sangheili working under him; but the phrase was so painfully, disgustingly, infuriatingly... awful. He stuttered for a few moments, before finally spitting it out in a dreary, tired tone. “Then it is an even bite.” -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yup. If the shark wasn’t jumped then, it sure is now. The Ace Attorney and Halo crossover nobody ever asked for. Even I think it’s a terrible idea. But it exists, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it... God I hate my inability to do anything of any value.
