This has been rattling round in my head for the last week or so, and so here it is. A Steddie/Spaced AU that no one asked for and will appeal to a pretty niche market in general (Although, Tim Bisley would fucking love Stranger Things)
Ok, you were born in Kentucky on 17 September 1974 and live with your Uncle, Wayne Munson
Right
You keep an eye on the girl over the road from you, who once attempted to share your Heavy Metal magazine collection with her middle school friends. In your attempt to prevent her, you tripped over your own feet, fell down the stairs of your trailer, hitting your head, which is where you got your scar
Yup
Uhm, You have a best friend, Chrissy, who is a Sports Promoter
Uhh Yeah sort of
You have a fatal allergy to pecan nuts
Yes, I have no memory of Thanksgiving 1980. Mind you, I’ve got no memory of Thanksgiving 1994 either
Oh? Why not?
I don’t know
Right…. You are an aspiring metal guitarist and your band is called
Corroded Coffin
Corroded Coffin, yeah. Your work to date includes playing a party for your drummers, sister’s boyfriend’s birthday. You supplement the $40 you got from that by working part time at a book store called “All That Glitters
Yeah, I’m the assistant manager
Oh, how many people work for you
Oh, it’s just me and Jeff
Who’s Jeff?
He’s the manager
Hang on, you’re not one of those fantasy nerds, are you?
No?
You don’t spend your evening on the internet discussing allegory and Lord of the Rings?
Look, fantasy writers allow us to explore the full extent of the human condition. Fantasy novels are more closely aligned with the desires of humans than ever before and exploring that is for the betterment of all mankind
Right… Your preferred mode of transport is your van. You like music, dungeons and dragons and regularly masturbate over images of Harrison Ford
Who told you that?!
It was a joke!
Yeah well People Magazine voted him the sexiest man alive in 1998
And what about you?
I wasn't placed
You recently split up with your boyfriend who got off with a friend of yours called Jason
He’s NOT my friend
Alright, well, we don’t need to talk about that. I mean, we can, if you want, because it obviously hit you hard.
No
You prefer a loose cotton boxer as opposed to a brief
Is all this really necessary
Well yes! What if we are asked a number of intimate personal questions? We’re supposed to be a couple! Come on, do me
Okaay, You were born in Hawkins Indiana in 1975 to Benjamin and Emily Harrington. You have a sort of brother-friend thing going with a teenager called Dustin
Yeah
You attend an Ivy League School
Ivy Tech College
Whatever
It’s a community college, which is fine. It’s better actually, gives me some more freedom. Did you know Oprah went to community college? Anyway, it’s not where you go to school, it’s the experience that counts, ok?
Alright… You have an on off thing with a girl, Nancy, who is at university in Beardstown
Boston
Oops! Boston. But we are not going to mention her. You want to be a teacher, but you haven’t thought that all the way through, and your best friend is called Robin and she works in Film
Uh something like that
You have an extensive hair care routine. You are scared of dogs and bats, but oh so much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross breed, forming an all powerful race of DogBats who will immobilise human beings in a giant vine based hive mind in order to eat cats.
I never said that….
Yeah, but it’d be good though
...I dunno
Alright! That’s it!!
Oh, by the way, my name’s Steve
Oh, right, I’m Eddie. Hi.
