#spapi

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Ratings for garchomp line attacks? (If you’ve been hit by them, I can see why not if not ofc pseudos may not be a strong as legendarys but they definitely are formidable in their strength.)

I have been attacked by legendaries. I would not stop at pseudo-legendaries.

RATINGS:

#443: Gible (Dragon Breath) - 2 / 4 A sharper version of the tingling of a limb falling asleep paired with the whip of pain felt by strong cold winds nipping at your skin. Can cause minor burns and temporary numbness or cramping of muscles in areas directly hit.

#444: Gabite (Bite) - 3 / 4 Exactly what you would expect from a bite. Gabite are prone to shaking their heads violently after clamping onto prey to expand the wound created by the initial bite. Will break bones, and the head-shaking will sometimes cause the bone-shards to pierce the skin.

#445: Garchomp (Take Down) - 4 / 4 Your ribs are shattered. Pieces will pierce your lungs, adding a stinging pain to the blunt pain that overtakes your entire body. The air is knocked out of you and when you gasp for breath, no matter how much you try, it never feels like enough. The texture of Garchomps skin will also grind away at any flesh directly touched like you've dragged sandpaper against it.

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So I’ve been seeing a lot of physical attacks mentioned which is cool or whatever but I HAVE to know. Could you rate Reuniclus’ Future Sight ( @solosissupposes )

Physical attacks are mentioned most often because people have a harder time understanding the MENTAL pain many SPECIAL attacks cause compared to the much more easy to comprehend nature of PHYSICAL pain.

#579: Reuniclus (Future Sight) - 3 / 4 A mix of feeling impending doom and Deja Vu. A sharp pain snakes from your head down your spine, leaving behind the tingling numbness of a limb 'falling asleep' in its wake. Rating psychological pain is difficult, but the feeling that something bad will happen and has already happened sticks for hours, a disorienting dread that must be accounted for.

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How much does it hurt to be attacked by a beautifly? I heard they're dangerous and I stay indoors when the wild one is in my garden, but are they really that dangerous?

All Pokemon can be dangerous, as can all people. It depends on circumstances. I would advise not to get near it while it is feeding, but it probably will not attack you unprovoked- especially if it is made aware you are maintaining the garden it feeds from. Do not take my word solely however, I am not a behavioral expert. As for the rating:

#267: Beautifly (Poison Sting) - 2 / 4 Like the burn of cool soda fizz, a sensation not quite painful but without another name to call it. Poisonings causes migraines, nausea, lack of balance, and an intense itchiness at the location of the sting. Poison is usually not fatal, symptoms lasting one to two weeks, but can be more extreme especially in children.

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HELLO can you PLEASE RATE the MAGIKARP line? Magikarp is famously useless, but man I figure the bounce landing from that thing must be insane considering its got bones of STEEL and jumps MOUNTAINS

I feel like you are MOCKING me. REGARDLESS:

#129: Magikarp (Tackle) - 1 / 4 You're laying down and a child jumps on your stomach unexpectedly. It hurts in the moment, sure, but there isn't enough force or weight to cause any real damage or lasting pain.

#130: Gyarados (Thrash) - 4 / 4 You are hit by a semi-truck and slammed into a wall, only for the truck to back up and do it again. If you're lucky, it'll stop at two hits. It probably won't, though. The sound of bones breaking causes a splintering pain in one's psyche in and of itself. Most wild Pokemon aren't trying to fatally wound humans when attacking, just chase them away. Gyarados don't care either way and are half the length of a semi-truck.

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Have you done the Venipede line yet?

Got charged by a Scolipede once and it felt like getting hit by a truck... so I am curious if battle moves match that.

I HOPE you were able to RECOVER from that COMPLETELY!

#543: Venipede (Bug Bite) - 1 / 4 A burning sting of pain, like a drop of hot oil on your skin.

#544: Whirlipede (Rollout) - 2 / 4 You trip and fall several feet into a pile of legos at a considerable speed. There's the pain of sharpness, but not often sharp enough to tear the skin. The true pain comes from the force of the impact. Broken bones are a possibility at its highest speeds.

#545: Scolipede (Double-Edge) - 3 / 4 A car slams into you and you're pierced by poison tipped glass. Broken bones are likely. Poisoning is likely if cut by its claws. The toxins make your blood feels like its bubbling.

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Hello! Could you rate Zubat, Golbat, and Crobat?

I must say answering for an actual Proper researcher that does much more Normal Work than myself is rather Intimidating.

#041: Zubat (Leech Life) - 1/4 Like getting blood drawn, the initial bite stings a bit but is otherwise painless. Might feel a bit woozy if the Zubat clings for long but there's no real danger here.

#042: Golbat (Wing Attack) - 1/4 Sharp sting, a hardy slap. The stinging lingers for a bit from the force.

#169: Crobat (Poison Fang) - 3/4 The sting of a bit is only the beginning. Veins burn and bubble, the longer the Crobat is latched on the worse it gets. Even when removed the searing pain radiates outward, spreading. Medical attention is always necessary, few people can tolerate the venom and one should not gamble on if they are one of them.

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perish song … -sunshine (@sunshine-arcanine)

You did NOT specify a POKEMON. Regardless;

#???: Unspecified (Perish Song) - 0/4 The song buzzes in your head after the singing stops. The echo of the music grows louder as your heart grows quieter. It doesn't go away until you reawaken, if you ever do.

I am LEGALLY and MORALLY required to tell you that using PERISH SONG on a HUMAN will slowly KILL them via CARDIAC ARREST if there is not IMMEDIATE MEDICAL STAFF present to RESUSCITATE them. This is MURDER and you will go to JAIL. The true sound of PERISH SONG can only be HEARD by its TARGET, accidents CANNOT occur.

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(@friendball-irl) I have the utmost respect for you and your work. I would never have the guts to even consider doing something like this and I am terrified at the power of your resolve. 10/10 blog.

Anyways, how bad has the Noibat line fucked you up?

THANK you. I am fairly certain I have DIED several times by now. I would NOT advise doing THIS.

#714: Noibat (Supersonic) - 2 / 4 You start playing thirty anti-asmr videos at once on max volume. The noise comes out of the speakers with enough force to move your hair like your standing in a storm. You're left with a headache and trouble hearing for the next few days at best.

#715: Noivern (Boomburst) - 4 / 4 Planes are taking off all around you and exploding in the air. It feels like something's exploding in your head too. The force of it knocks you off your feet. There's the tingling of something warm dripping from your ears. Permanent damage is almost guaranteed unless the Noivern uses great restraint.