I GET ATTACKED BY POKEMON AND RATE HOW PAINFUL IT IS.

I'M MIKE. ASK ME ABOUT A POKEMON AND OR MOVE AND I WILL RATE THE PAIN ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 4- CHECK THE NAME OF THE INBOX TO SEE IF PAIN RATINGS ARE OPEN OR CLOSED!!!!

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I get ATTACKED by POKEMON and rate how PAINFUL it is on a scale of 1-4. ASK ME and I will tell you how painful a Pokemon’s attacks are. 

I am a PROFESSIONAL. Do NOT try this at HOME. You WILL DIE.

PERSONAL BLOG @researcher-schmidt​

(ooc: inspired by a post made by @/adobe-outdesign. While the concept of the pain scale is based on a real life person’s (Justin Schmidt, Rest in Peace) work, and the last name of the character is also derived from it, the character himself is not based on the person even remotely.)

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Ratings for garchomp line attacks? (If you’ve been hit by them, I can see why not if not ofc pseudos may not be a strong as legendarys but they definitely are formidable in their strength.)

I have been attacked by legendaries. I would not stop at pseudo-legendaries.

RATINGS:

#443: Gible (Dragon Breath) - 2 / 4 A sharper version of the tingling of a limb falling asleep paired with the whip of pain felt by strong cold winds nipping at your skin. Can cause minor burns and temporary numbness or cramping of muscles in areas directly hit.

#444: Gabite (Bite) - 3 / 4 Exactly what you would expect from a bite. Gabite are prone to shaking their heads violently after clamping onto prey to expand the wound created by the initial bite. Will break bones, and the head-shaking will sometimes cause the bone-shards to pierce the skin.

#445: Garchomp (Take Down) - 4 / 4 Your ribs are shattered. Pieces will pierce your lungs, adding a stinging pain to the blunt pain that overtakes your entire body. The air is knocked out of you and when you gasp for breath, no matter how much you try, it never feels like enough. The texture of Garchomps skin will also grind away at any flesh directly touched like you've dragged sandpaper against it.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

HELLO. Long time no see. How is everyone?

Ratings are open again but I have a very large backlog I must go through, and an update to how I rate them is perhaps needed...

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

How much does it hurt to be attacked by a beautifly? I heard they're dangerous and I stay indoors when the wild one is in my garden, but are they really that dangerous?

All Pokemon can be dangerous, as can all people. It depends on circumstances. I would advise not to get near it while it is feeding, but it probably will not attack you unprovoked- especially if it is made aware you are maintaining the garden it feeds from. Do not take my word solely however, I am not a behavioral expert. As for the rating:

#267: Beautifly (Poison Sting) - 2 / 4 Like the burn of cool soda fizz, a sensation not quite painful but without another name to call it. Poisonings causes migraines, nausea, lack of balance, and an intense itchiness at the location of the sting. Poison is usually not fatal, symptoms lasting one to two weeks, but can be more extreme especially in children.

[researcher-schmidt]

HI! I'm MIKE! This is the PERSONAL blog of @schmidt-attack-pain-index. Please direct any rating questions to that blog. I have created this blog to answer more personal questions and to socialize more, as I've been told I need to interact with others more. I prefer to be called by He/Him.

Here are some of my Pokemon I have with me most frequently, but I have others:

(ooc: a more rp-blog for Schmidt since I accidently made him an actual character. Sorry. This is also where Mike will leave responses on other people's posts. He specializes in ghost types due to them liking his Constant Teetering on the Edge of Death. )

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

perish song … -sunshine (@sunshine-arcanine)

You did NOT specify a POKEMON. Regardless;

#???: Unspecified (Perish Song) - 0/4 The song buzzes in your head after the singing stops. The echo of the music grows louder as your heart grows quieter. It doesn't go away until you reawaken, if you ever do.

I am LEGALLY and MORALLY required to tell you that using PERISH SONG on a HUMAN will slowly KILL them via CARDIAC ARREST if there is not IMMEDIATE MEDICAL STAFF present to RESUSCITATE them. This is MURDER and you will go to JAIL. The true sound of PERISH SONG can only be HEARD by its TARGET, accidents CANNOT occur.

[occulticvioletdepths]

Important to know: While you'll definitely know when you're being Perish Songed merely from the song, there is also this sense of IMPENDING IMMEDIATE DOOM. As in, Perish Song is not a gentle lulling drift into nothingness. The moment your body realizes your heart is stopping IT WILL SCREAM WITH EVERY CELL, EVERY FIBRE, EVERY NEURON IN YOUR BODY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT.

Especially if you suffer from anxiety issues, you will KNOW this is different. THIS IS A SIGN OF IMMINENT ORGAN FAILURE. SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY.

Sincerely, someone who almost died from Perish Song as a kid.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I clarified this initially, but since this is causing some concern- it really shouldn’t, the fact that your body TELLS YOU something is wrong is a GOOD thing- PERISH SONG WILL NOT AFFECT EVERYONE WHO ‘HEARS’ IT. 

Only the TARGET will hear the true Perish Song, and POKEMON are NOT in life-threatening danger when hearing it. HUMANS are only.

POKEMON do not just randomly use Perish Song. This will not happen to you randomly. You will know something’s wrong before the SONG even ENDS- and if you manage to block out the song before hearing the whole thing, it won’t take effect. Humans are not a prey item of any Pokemon that can learn PERISH SONG and thus will only use it when in extreme distress or similar cases. 

YES, POKEMON can be dangerous and you should treat them with RESPECT but you do not need to be AFRAID of Pokemon. Don’t be an IDIOT and you will be fine. 

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

a gardevour's hypnosis perhaps? (@pokedelivery-girl)

Well, this doesn't do damage. Its a nice way to help with insomnia. Gardevoir's hypnosis doesn't last very long compared to Pokemon like Hypno but if you have trouble sleeping something's better than nothing.

Just like normal sleep, you just fall into it faster. Nothing really unique to say. I've asked Omen (Gengar) to use it on me before, though ghost types using hypnosis tends to cause strange dreams- not always scary ones, but strange.

Here is another post with Gardevoir in it, if that's the interest.

[friendball-irl]

Btw, anybody got a way to talk to Zekrom?

I've got moral dilemmas that I feel only it can answer plz and thanks

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Would Reshiram not be the Pokemon to seek out for an answer? The brutal truth and gentle honesty, as opposed to grand ideals and hopeful paradigms?  

[friendball-irl]

Hnnnnggggg I mean yeahhhh, but I'm scared of finding out what the answer would be

I'm more going for a "hey, these are my ideals, how do I work to reach them?"

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Sometimes you must accept some hard truths to reach your ideals. Sometimes those hard truths will be that your ideals are not possible, or that you need to reassess them. I know this first hand quite well. I think if you do manage to reach out to one, it would be wise to reach out the other as well.

It was a subject of a rather intense war, choosing to only accept one side of the coin, wasn’t it? Something to think about I suppose.

[friendball-irl]

Btw, anybody got a way to talk to Zekrom?

I've got moral dilemmas that I feel only it can answer plz and thanks

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Would Reshiram not be the Pokemon to seek out for an answer? The brutal truth and gentle honesty, as opposed to grand ideals and hopeful paradigms?  

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I admittedly don’t socialize with others much and tend to be very behind on the news of the world as a result. Anything of note going on? Good, bad, small, big. I’d just like to hear what’s going on in everyone’s world right now. 

As I said, I do not socialize much so I do not have much news to share. Doctors said the break in my fibula has healed completely so I can be more up and about again. I’ve spent most of the past few days sorting through files. Had V visit again, gave it an oran berry.  

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

Glad you’re healing up! Earlier this year I got hit by some particularly rough moves by a weird Gallade in Paldea and it put me out of commission for like, three months. Your dedication to your job is really incredible that you keep on going after so much!

As for news, I recently found a Porygon that I’m taking care of. I’ve been trying to find the original owner but as the days go on, I suspect more and more that the fella was left behind.

I also recently started working on some research with the PFDA (Pokémon Food and Drug Administration) on how to best provide nutrition for your Pokémon! I’m excited to share my finds.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Oh I wonder if the Gallade in question might’ve been an ‘Iron Valiant’? There is a strong resemblance. Very rare, I have one for study and I can say they do pack one hell of a punch. I must admit I’m not sure that I can solely take credit for my ability to recover from all the injuries I sustain, but my determination wouldn’t falter even if I didn’t recover so well. 

Abandoned Pokemon are always a sad story, but the kind of trainers to intentionally abandon a Pokemon often aren’t the kind that are good for a Pokemon to stay with to begin with, so there is a silver lining- the chance for it to go to a better home. 

Also a grand achievement! You’re doing wonderful work, I’m excited to see you help the world with your research there! 

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

IRON VALIANT IS REAL???

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Sort of. There is a pokemon that resembles the urban legend of an ‘Iron Valiant’ and might have been the inspiration of the idea, thus why it was named such when discovered, but a lot of information about the actual Pokemon was exaggerated or just incorrect. Bit of a Torchic or the Egg situation with whether it spawned the rumors or if the rumors existed first and have simply been assigned to a Pokemon that coincidentally resembled them. 

Here’s a picture of the one I captured, Melody:

Keep reading

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

Incredible! It seems I have a lot to learn about this Pokémon! It certainly does look like the Pokémon I saw- I would recognize those blades on the arms anywhere! It’s an impressive Pokémon to be sure. Thank you for the insight!!

If you’re ever in Johto and feel like stopping by, you’re welcome to come to the lab off Bellchime trail! It’d be cool to see Melody in person.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I would be happy to visit Johto to give you a chance to see Melody in person, but it will have to be set up with care. While much more passive than they were initially, they are prone to outbursts which could lead to harm if precautions aren’t taken. Its a behavior I have been working to train out of them and they have made a lot of progress with but is still somewhat present. 

i do have another specimen originating from Area Zero, a ‘Slither Wing’ I’ve dubbed Furball, which is much more passive and doesn’t attack without warning, should you be interested in meeting them instead. Or meeting both.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I admittedly don’t socialize with others much and tend to be very behind on the news of the world as a result. Anything of note going on? Good, bad, small, big. I’d just like to hear what’s going on in everyone’s world right now. 

As I said, I do not socialize much so I do not have much news to share. Doctors said the break in my fibula has healed completely so I can be more up and about again. I’ve spent most of the past few days sorting through files. Had V visit again, gave it an oran berry.  

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

Glad you’re healing up! Earlier this year I got hit by some particularly rough moves by a weird Gallade in Paldea and it put me out of commission for like, three months. Your dedication to your job is really incredible that you keep on going after so much!

As for news, I recently found a Porygon that I’m taking care of. I’ve been trying to find the original owner but as the days go on, I suspect more and more that the fella was left behind.

I also recently started working on some research with the PFDA (Pokémon Food and Drug Administration) on how to best provide nutrition for your Pokémon! I’m excited to share my finds.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Oh I wonder if the Gallade in question might’ve been an ‘Iron Valiant’? There is a strong resemblance. Very rare, I have one for study and I can say they do pack one hell of a punch. I must admit I’m not sure that I can solely take credit for my ability to recover from all the injuries I sustain, but my determination wouldn’t falter even if I didn’t recover so well. 

Abandoned Pokemon are always a sad story, but the kind of trainers to intentionally abandon a Pokemon often aren’t the kind that are good for a Pokemon to stay with to begin with, so there is a silver lining- the chance for it to go to a better home. 

Also a grand achievement! You’re doing wonderful work, I’m excited to see you help the world with your research there! 

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

IRON VALIANT IS REAL???

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Sort of. There is a pokemon that resembles the urban legend of an ‘Iron Valiant’ and might have been the inspiration of the idea, thus why it was named such when discovered, but a lot of information about the actual Pokemon was exaggerated or just incorrect. Bit of a Torchic or the Egg situation with whether it spawned the rumors or if the rumors existed first and have simply been assigned to a Pokemon that coincidentally resembled them. 

Here’s a picture of the one I captured, Melody:

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I admittedly don’t socialize with others much and tend to be very behind on the news of the world as a result. Anything of note going on? Good, bad, small, big. I’d just like to hear what’s going on in everyone’s world right now. 

As I said, I do not socialize much so I do not have much news to share. Doctors said the break in my fibula has healed completely so I can be more up and about again. I’ve spent most of the past few days sorting through files. Had V visit again, gave it an oran berry.  

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

Glad you’re healing up! Earlier this year I got hit by some particularly rough moves by a weird Gallade in Paldea and it put me out of commission for like, three months. Your dedication to your job is really incredible that you keep on going after so much!

As for news, I recently found a Porygon that I’m taking care of. I’ve been trying to find the original owner but as the days go on, I suspect more and more that the fella was left behind.

I also recently started working on some research with the PFDA (Pokémon Food and Drug Administration) on how to best provide nutrition for your Pokémon! I’m excited to share my finds.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Oh I wonder if the Gallade in question might’ve been an ‘Iron Valiant’? There is a strong resemblance. Very rare, I have one for study and I can say they do pack one hell of a punch. I must admit I’m not sure that I can solely take credit for my ability to recover from all the injuries I sustain, but my determination wouldn’t falter even if I didn’t recover so well. 

Abandoned Pokemon are always a sad story, but the kind of trainers to intentionally abandon a Pokemon often aren’t the kind that are good for a Pokemon to stay with to begin with, so there is a silver lining- the chance for it to go to a better home. 

Also a grand achievement! You’re doing wonderful work, I’m excited to see you help the world with your research there! 

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

I admittedly don’t socialize with others much and tend to be very behind on the news of the world as a result. Anything of note going on? Good, bad, small, big. I’d just like to hear what’s going on in everyone’s world right now. 

As I said, I do not socialize much so I do not have much news to share. Doctors said the break in my fibula has healed completely so I can be more up and about again. I’ve spent most of the past few days sorting through files. Had V visit again, gave it an oran berry.  

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Not damaging moves but what does Trick or Treat and Forest's Curse feel like?

These moves don't really work on humans. We're typeless, and nothing works to add a type. It might trigger an immune system response like sneezing, coughing, etc, but otherwise doesn't really do anything or feel like anything.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Hello! Could you rate Zubat, Golbat, and Crobat?

I must say answering for an actual Proper researcher that does much more Normal Work than myself is rather Intimidating.

#041: Zubat (Leech Life) - 1/4 Like getting blood drawn, the initial bite stings a bit but is otherwise painless. Might feel a bit woozy if the Zubat clings for long but there's no real danger here.

#042: Golbat (Wing Attack) - 1/4 Sharp sting, a hardy slap. The stinging lingers for a bit from the force.

#169: Crobat (Poison Fang) - 3/4 The sting of a bit is only the beginning. Veins burn and bubble, the longer the Crobat is latched on the worse it gets. Even when removed the searing pain radiates outward, spreading. Medical attention is always necessary, few people can tolerate the venom and one should not gamble on if they are one of them.

[schmidt-attack-pain-index]

Rate how much areceus hurts

dont make me tap the sign.

[pokemon-researcher-cross]

Do my Pokémon understand me?

This question is a complex one that depends highly on species, training, and socialization, but in general the answer is: Yes, to an extent.

Pokémon tend to have really strong pattern recognition and a good grasp on things like object permanence and displacement. Generally, a Pokémon can understand a vocabulary of a couple hundred words. They can remember and respond to their names, nicknames, the commands of their trainers, and the moves their trainers ask them to use. They can also pick up on words that get used around them often (for example, my Crobat hears the word “treat” and immediately shuffles over to me to beg.)

Some Pokémon, like Lapras, the Abra line, the Ralts line, Shuppet’s line, Chansey, Audino, and a surprising amount of others have a lot stronger of a grasp on language. While they might not pick up on all the subtleties of things like grammar and syntax, they can understand and internalize information that they hear. You may have read a famous story a few years back about a Lapras from the Whirl Islands. It found an injured surfer who told it to go find help on the mainland and bring medical help. The Lapras understood him and was able to actually find a Nurse Joy who it ferried out, saving the surfer’s life. This was a really clear example of the Pokémon understanding that the man was hurt, listening to his request, and then choosing to fulfill it.

Pokémon are incredibly smart creatures. Some of them are far more intelligent than humans. Even those who don’t have “an IQ of over 5,000” (looking at you Alakazam. We all know that you made that up,) are able to listen to and understand their trainers. That, combined with things like empathic abilities, body language, and nonverbal makers of communication all add up to a very strong bond between Pokémon and their partners