“I broke my rules for you" with janti (sorry im so weak and a hoe for them)
i got a little carried away with this one so i put a read more fdsfsfsdfds it was just really fun to write seán being an angery boy. i love ur boys sm sparkles so of course i had to write with them again. also this was written with the help of my cat lily! she leant on my arm the entire time.
Something wakes him up in the middle of the night. On instinct, Seán reaches for the bat leaning against his bedside table, clutching it in both hands as he shakily gets out of bed.
He can hear shuffling as he walks down the hall to his living room and his heart pounds in his chest. Does he really have such bad luck that after everything, someone is breaking into his apartment? Holding the bat tighter, he carefully peeks his head around the corner.
The first thing he spots is his curtains, flowing in the breeze coming from outside. Usually, he would frown, and swear that he had closed them before going to bed, especially since that particular window leads out to the fire escape, but this time, he doesn't need to wonder. Someone is there, slowly and carefully pushing his window back down, and his breath catches in his throat. He stands there, frozen, staring, until his eyes adjust further to the darkness and he narrows them into a glare.
He recognises that figure.
And he's going to fucking kill him.
There's no point trying to sneak up on him, so Seán steps forward, reaching over to slam the light switch on the wall. The figure jumps and whips around to face him, and in the sudden light of the room, he can see Abél's face clear as day.
Abél simply stares back at him, a sheepish smile starting to form on his face until it drops in fear as Seán glares back at him. He's hurt, and he's shocked and he's confused and it's all stoking the quiet burn of anger into a hot rage, and as he tightens his grip on the bat, an idea pops into his head that he's not quite rational enough to deny.
Raising the bat, he charges at Abél, the knowledge that Abél will probably hardly feel it making sure that he feels no guilt in swinging it with all his strength. He lets out a cry as it slams down onto the man's outstretched arms, and as he raises the bat again, he lets go of the tidal wave he's been holding back.
"You twat!" he screams. "You absolute! Fucking! Dickhead! You left! You disappeared! I thought you were dead, you little shit! And now! You think you can just- fucking- waltz back in? Through my fucking window?!"
He brings the bat down over and over again onto Abél's arms as he uses them to shield himself, and although he can feel himself starting to feel bad, he takes comfort in the fact that each hit makes Abél do little more than a small flinch.
"Seán, ow, Jesus Christ, slow do-"
"Slow down?! It's been months! Fucking months! You're such! A fucking! Twat! I'd kick your fucking ass if you'd actually feel it!" His swings start to slow down as he gets out of breath, his energy and his fury slowly waning, and eventually Abél reaches out and catches the bat. He's still staring at Seán with apprehension, and he can't help but feel a little bit of pride that he managed that. Still, he lets the bat slip out of his hands, his shoulders slumping, and the rest of his emotions crash over him.
"Seven months." His voice is quiet now, barely a whisper compared to his shouting before. The tears that had been welling up in his eyes finally spill over and he takes shaky breaths as he tries to carry on.
"Seven months... without a word, Abél. Not a single word. It's hell. You've put me through hell, don't you understand that? I tried so hard to find you. It hurt so bad to give up but I had to. I had to try and move on. And now you show up again? Like nothing happened? I can't... I can't, Abél." As he speaks, Abél places the bat on the floor, moving closer and carefully taking hold of Seán's arms. When Seán doesn't protest it, Abél steps even closer, his arms wrapping around Seán's waist and pulling him closer. He takes the opportunity to hit Abél's chest with his fists, but it's so light he doubts even a normal person would feel it. He's tired, everything so overwhelming now as the adrenaline rush fades, and he can't stop the quiet sob that escapes his mouth.
"I'm sorry. I had to," Abél whispers, and Seán only answers with another sob, the tears coming fast and hot now. His hands clench into fists again, but this time Abél's dumb suit is crumpled up in his hands as he holds on tight, like Abél could slip right through his fingers again any second.
"I changed everything for you. I broke my rules for you. I gave up... everything for you.” His voice wavers. He rests his head on Abél's chest, feeling it rise and fall as the man takes a shaky breath.
"I know. I gave up everything too." Abél pulls him closer, burying his face in Seán's shoulder.
"I gave up you," he adds, so quietly that Seán isn't completely sure that he heard him.
"Someone figured out who I was. Someone dangerous. I had to make sure they couldn't trace me to you. I knew that leaving you was keeping you safe, but it still felt like losing you. Especially since I knew it would hurt you, and I wouldn't be able to do anything to help. I'm so sorry, Seán, I really am. I'm here now, but if... if you don't want me here, I understand." Before Abél can say any more, Seán cuts him off with a scoff. He tightens his grip on the man's suit and pulls him minutely closer before letting go, only to wrap his arms around Abél's shoulders.
"Don't you even fucking think about leaving again," he mutters, and there's still heat to it, but the sheer relief of having Abél back makes it sound more exasperated than anything. He closes his eyes, letting himself focus on the warmth of Abél in his arms.
"Once is more than enough. I think you might actually kill me if I leave again." Seán lets himself laugh, lets all those emotions go to the back of his mind for now. In this moment, Abél is here, and his heart can finally start to heal.
“I think I will always look for you, no matter what world we live in.”
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It’s @sparklepines boy’s birthday today!
I wanted to make something based on Sparkle’s idea that each story is connected. It’s always Abél, in a different life, a different timeline, but always the same grumpy ginger man looking for his boy. [more on that here and here].
I was also gonna link each story but just go visit Sparkle’s AO3 and read them all yourself. You’ll thank me later.
Finally got @sparklepines 's version of Anti done! Since it's the spooky season i decided to give Abel a jack o' lantern look. Made his eyebrow scar into a crack coming from the eye hole cuz i thought it would look cool. The green cowlick is supposed to represent the stem and leaf on a pumpkin.
