I don't need my eyes to hurt you (Speaker)
Summary: Speaker should not be allowed on tumblr during breaks!
Warnings: None
Notes: This is really just a very silly story based off a situation from college and a quote I said to my roommate then. (See above title) I couldn’t get the concept of these characters in this scenario out of my head soooo here!
It’s one of those nights where it is too late and everyone has been at work for much too long in the Delaney household. Everyone sits around the living room with varying bits of research in front of each of them. Nellie and Laurie huddle on the sofa leaning over the map on the coffee table. Azalea and Sebastian are sticking posted notes along the white board and connecting them with dry erase markers. Josephine and Li sit back to back on the floor next to Barkspawn surrounded by books.
With a heavy sigh Josephine leans back on Li folding them over the book she has in her lap uncomfortably. “Break time! I’m calling it!” “Yeah yeah. Get up then.” Li says trying to straighten back up. Josephine just slides to the side off of Li and cuddles into Barkspawn.
“Let us finish this up first.” Laurie says, still very interested in the map.
“You at least love me. Don’t you?” She pets Barkspawn as she speaks, Li just rolls her eyes. His tail starts wagging whether at her words or the pets she can’t be sure. Josephine pulls out her phone to check her phone and scrolls through her notifications until she sees one from tumblr. She opens her phone to a post about fanfictions with terrible crackships, so naturally she has to share with the class. Moving to stand in the middle of the room she holds her phone up and starts with an introduction. “So I found this post on Tumblr.” “Well that doesn’t bode well.” Sebastian sits in the free chair, him and Azalea having found a breaking point. This comment earns him a hush and a playful glare.
Looking back at her phone Josephine returns to her mission. “It’s all about terrible terrible crackships. We start off easy with Steve Rogers/Clint Barton, lord farquaad/thelonious, Berry B Benso-”
“No the moment you bring up the Bee Movie nothing good can follow. Stop.” Laurie says.
“What exactly is a crackship?” Azalea chimes perched on the arm of the sofa. “A relationship that fans pair from characters that don’t really seem to match up.” Li explains. She gives Josephine a mischievous side glance. “And Laurie is right nothing good follows Berry B Benson in these conversations.”
“I take that to mean you are encouraging her?” Sebastian observes, somewhat defeated. Best to let this play out, it’s only a tumblr post, right?
“Go ahead, finish the post.” Nellie offers, good naturedly. “Uh-hum. Berry B Benson/Shrek,” An evil smile spreads across Josephines face as her sister lets out a sound of frustration that sounds like “see!” Josephine continues on the list that only gets worse. “Sonic the HedgeHog/Waluigi, Spongebob/Barney,” “These don’t make any sense!” Laurie screams with genuine confusion. Josephine bursts out laughing while everyone else just watches with varying degrees of just waiting to be over and enjoying the show (Li) “Why do they exist!?”
From her peels of laughter, Josephine manages, “Oh, dear sister mine, there is someone on the internet for everything! You have to admit they are funny! Anywho, Dr. Phil/Peppa Pig, Shrek/Toothpaste!!” Josephine has to stop to catch her breath from laughter and Laurie takes the opening to get up and try to wrestle her phone away. She makes her way around the coffee table but Josephine runs around it keeping the table between them. Both Cowles siblings move their limbs out of the way, enjoying the chaos. “Get the phone! Stop her!” Laurie pleas for anyone. Both Cowles siblings shake their heads. Azalea blocks off the room past the chairs and sofa while Sebastian just stays in his place not blocking the path between the chair and coffee table but not giving an easy escape. This causes Josephine have to shimmy in place long enough that her sister rounds the table. In Josephine’s attempt at a quick escape past Sebastian she manages to catch her feet on something and trip herself. Landing herself right on top of Sebastian in the chair. He manages to grab the phone from her before she can regain her bearings and hold it out of reach. Laurie lets out a whoop of victory.
“Draco/Hogwarts squid….., Robbie Rotten/…..Elmo,” Josephine squints towards her phone screen still in view. Laurie covers her eyes so that she can’t see anything let alone the phone. “Citizen Can/Fred Jones, Naruto/SansUndertale.” “Stop!”
“I don’t need my eye to hurt you.” Josephine laughs getting ready to think up more as her sister moves her hands to cover her mouth. As an after thought she covers her nose lightly enough that it only looks like attempted murder.
“Shhhh go to sleep go to sleep.” She releases after the joke is over though.
“Alright you win.” Josephine says getting off Sebastian’s lap. “Sorry about that Sebastian. Can I have my phone back.”
“I think you’ve lost phone privileges for now. Some of those were really terrible.” He says pocketing the phone.