I don’t think I’ve ever really felt my deities in the way that other people talk about. Such as: feeling like they’re a best friend, something to touch (physically), or having extreme frequent signs of them.
Now, I don’t think that means my deities are uncaring of me. I know it’s the opposite, but not having these same experiences as every other person has also always made me feel isolated; like I’m doing something wrong.
And I’m realizing that because my relationship with my deities are different, that doesn’t mean they’re bad or incorrect. I feel my deities through a song, I like to devote certain hours to them and then go about my day. I pray to them daily/nightly and feel them in certain mundane daily things. And for me that’s more than enough, something I’m glad for.
Lord Apollo and Lord Lucifer are a friend, a parent, a guide, and a guardian. But they are those things in the way they are protective, stern, want me to make mistakes and most importantly grow for them. Maybe my needs are a lot different than other people’s needs, but that’s okay.