#speckledskin

[thespeckledskin]

Unlisting All My YouTube Videos

I will soon be making the videos on my youtube channel ‘Unlisted’. This means they will not be able to be searched for on YouTube or through Google.

Unfortunately, a member of my immediate family has become aware of a bald patch on my scalp. I fear she may be likely trying to research why I may have it, and I’m simply not ready/don’t want to discuss it. The idea of telling my family makes me feel embarrassed, stupid, pathetic and so very ashamed. I realise when it come to mental health it’s ‘important to talk’ but it is so difficult.

The thought of her finding key words related to my channel mortifies me. I feel she’d likely only think me pathetic. Seeing as my video “How do I know I have Dermatillomania?...” is one of the first to come up when searching for Derma, I’ve decided to Unlist it. Maybe for just a while or maybe indefinitely.  Originally I made my vlogs for others with the condition to be able to learn and share in their experiences so knowing that this won’t be visible on YouTube searches is upsetting.

My videos will however be viewable through visiting the ‘Playlists’ tab at the top of my channel and seeing them all through there.

I know this is not practicing what so many preach, but I’m at a time in my life with no job and these conditions help me get through the weeks. I feel they are the only gratification I have left. Ironically: the only thing keeping me sane and feeling alive.

I’m very sorry that I’m not doing what is ‘right’. But for me, right now, I won’t allow those around me to know of these  conditions.

[thespeckledskin]

Hi guys. Hope you’re all doing well. I’ll speak soon! x

[thespeckledskin]

Most of the images of my skin can be viewed in far greater detail: Click on image > Right click larger photo > Select 'Open Imagine in New Tab'.

[thespeckledskin]

i have picked at my lips all my life til they bleed usually, and in the last year i started picking at my ears. do i have dermatillomania? i thinks so but i dont pick at the rest of my face? its really bad and my ears look so gross and i am super self consious about it. any tips for how i can not do it at work?

Your comment suggests you find it difficult to stop/control and that it makes you feel negative, so yes, I would say you have Dermatillomania.

My best advice is to keep fidget toys at hand! I carry two small bean bags which fit into my palm and I swear by them. :) In the mean time, carry a small tube of antiseptic cream or moisturiser with you. If you have the urge to pick, massage them into the damaged areas and keep your hands slightly greasy so it’s physically more difficult to pick. It may not necessary stop you picking but it will make it more difficult while also aiding healing.

I pick and bite the skin around my fingernails constantly while working too and my best advice would be to keep idle hands busy. x

[thespeckledskin]

Finally another #SkinUpdate!

[thespeckledskin]

Trich Or Treat | Fear is wearing my hair down.

[thespeckledskin]

Here's a really simple tutorial on how I make my Mini Bean Bags.

[thespeckledskin]

So idk how to ask this exactly but I am going to try my best. Mostly I've noticed that I scratch at my scalp when I am stressed or upset or sometimes for seemingly no reason at all. I also used to have really dry lips and I would pick at the skin on those until they bled. I had a hard time not picking my lips and still have a hard time not scratching at my scalp. But I've never created lesions. I have made my lips bleed and my scalp very tender and red but never lesions. 1/2

"…I know you mentioned that someone doesn’t have to necessarily fit every one of the criteria but I was wondering if this sounds like derma to you? Is it unusual to scratch at specific spots because that is mostly what I do with my scalp. The only time I’ve picked or scratched at another place that I can remember was when my lips were dry or my back got sunburn and peeled. Then I picked and scratched at my back until it bled. I don’t think this is normal behavior but idk.”

Hi, thanks for your comment.

Again, I’d like to point out that I have never had any sort of medical training, but from my experience with Derma and the details you described I would consider it to be Dermatillomania.

You mentioned you found it hard not to pick or scratch (whether that be a incessant need or desire to do so) and I think that, that is the important aspect in this particular situation.It is not where or how badly you pick which is important.

I believe that if a self-inflicted action brings you any level of prolonged stress/discomfort/guilt, then it is outside the realm of normal behaviour for you.

(If you would like to ask a qualified therapist then I would suggest katimorton. She works on a lot of social media platforms including YouTube and each weekday answers questions sent to her using the hashtag #KatiFAQ.) x