#spendie

[mikechang]

BEEP

A confession via text

[ sms ;; ] You can’t hate me.[ sms ;; ] Addie, I need you to promise…[ sms ;; ] I knew.[ sms ;; ] I know it was wrong and I don’t expect you to forgive me…[ sms ;; ] I’m just sorry.[ sms ;; ] You deserve better than any of this.

[mikechang]

🐻

🐻   :   give my muse a valentine’s teddy bear.

Valentine’s Day was something which had always felt like it would come easily to Spencer. When he was younger, he had loved it. All of the pinks and reds associated with it, the cards, the candy, and - of course - the stuffed animals. So when he’d started getting into relationships, he always had a lot of fun with it. The feeling was intensified when he’d gotten into his relationship with Addie. She was the woman of his dreams and all of that other mushy stuff.

Flowers were out of the question. They had a garden full of them and it wasn’t worth it to waste their money on it. There had been some candy thrown into their cart throughout the beginning of the month. That left him with stuffed animals. 

(He could have given her the ring hidden in his sock drawer, gotten down on one knee, and all of the important things… that, however, was too scary… So bear it was.)

“Wait there!” he said as he ran to the garage to receive her gift. It wasn’t wrapped, the bear itself being too large for it to be feasible. Instead, he’d slapped a bow on its head. Walking in with a three foot tall bear, he shifted so that he could make the arm wave. He raised the pitch of his voice. “Hi, Addie! I’m your new best friend!”

[mikechang]

‘i wish you were here.’

There was a gentle smile on his face as he looked down at his phone. Addie couldn’t see him, shirtless and reclining in his childhood bed. His father’s birthday was tomorrow and he’d made a promise he would come to his parents’ for the party. Spencer felt it would have been more fun if Addie had been able to come along with him. She’d had prior commitments through work. As much as he had begged her to shrug them off (and it wasn’t possible to count the amount of times he had done so), it hadn’t been doable. Hence, his phone was on speaker lying next to him and his arms were crossed behind his head.

“Do you?” he asked, as if he didn’t believe her. He had to, if only because he felt the same way. “Is it lonely without me?” The size of their new place was a little larger than people would have chosen for a young couple. It suited them though. Each corner of the strange house had their names written all over it. She might not have seen it at first, but he hoped it was growing on her. 

He laughed softly. “Only one day and I’ll be back home with you. We can get the garden going like we promised we would and I’ll paint the kitchen like I promised to three weeks ago.”

[mikechang]

‘i don’t know who i am.’

This wasn’t supposed happen. None of it was supposed to happen. Cabinets swinging open on their own was one thing. It could be explained away with the claim the house was drafty in certain areas. It was, or there were cold spots. Chances were, the latter was far more accurate. And such a concept should have excited him. It would have in the past. Somehow, the past few months had caused nearly everything to change. His desire to interact with anything otherworldly had waned the more those things forced their way into their lives. 

Rather, Addie’s life. They seemed far more interested in her than they were him. He couldn’t figure out their fixation on her. She hadn’t sat there, legs crossed as with a ouija board which hadn’t yielded any results. If she would have done it… well, he didn’t want to think about it. Clearly, she was terrified. How could he comfort her now? He couldn’t take the spirits away. If he could… for once in his life, he’d want to get rid of the paranormal.

He cupped her face in his hands and shook his head. “No, come on. Addie, don’t…” Spencer wanted to say it wasn’t her, but clearly she knew it. Whatever was making her feel this way, not herself, had to be some affect the house was having on her. They needed...  to do something. “Maybe we should get out for the night. Mandi and Jonah would probably let us stay the night at their apartment. We’ll just.. get out of here.”

[mikechang]

‘something strange happened here.’

His fingers brushed against the freshly painted walls of the entryway. A stark white color brightened the room. Spencer’s gut instinct was to paint them a richer color. He wanted there to be warmth in the house. There was a strange aura to the house he couldn’t place. Had he not known the history, his mind would be racing with ideas as to what had occurred here. Addie had no idea. He wouldn’t let her know. There was something about this place which was perfect. And it wasn’t the possible spirits lurking. This felt like it could be their home -- the place they married, got a pet, maybe even have children some time in the future. The ring box would be buried in his sock drawer would move here and things would be good. 

The energy was clearly off to Addie. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t want to lie about it. Pulling his hand away from the wall, he made his way over and laced those same fingers with hers. Giving it a quick squeeze, he began to lead her around the room. 

“What do you mean? It feels like people have lived their lives here! It’s an old house! Of course things have happened here!” He gestured towards the large staircase which had a polished wooden railing. It wouldn’t need any updating, unlike much of the house. Other than the backstory, it was one of the things which drew him in when he had saw the listing. Though he wasn’t quite experienced with a hammer or a drill, Spencer thought it would be fun to have some projects around the house. He lacked creative prospects in his day job and this seemed like a good outlet. 

The tour he’d taken on his own had gone far better. He knew he had gotten the real estate agent’s hopes up. Now, she was giving him a look like he’d cancelled her birthday party. “I’m not going to say I love it if you hate it, but... maybe we should give it a chance.”

[mikechang]

❛ Are you coming or not? ❜

see, the fact of the matter was spencer was usually up for anything. whether it put him into immediate danger or not. however, he was normally the person who had the ideas on hand. the fact it was coming from addie.. it should have made it a tad more enticing. instead, it raised a slight fear in the pit of his stomach. 

the laugh which escaped was tinged with nerves. she would be able to pick up on it, easily. she picked up on most things about him. sometimes, she knew spencer better than he knew himself. it was invigorating. 

( and in the end, what pushed him over the edge. ) 

“yes, dear.”

[mikechang]

"I messed this up haven't i?"

somebody had told spencer once, ‘happily ever after doesn’t exist’. and he had believed them… right up until his eyes caught sight of addie. he hadn’t told her. she was too practical, would likely argue with him about the concept of love at first sight. yet, he knew in his heart it was what had occurred for him, the way his heart had skipped a beat as he saw her soft smile speaking with her friends and the overwhelming urge to cross over to her. spencer’s first words to her were about how he was going to marry her one day. she had taken it as a cheesy pick up line, but he had meant each word he said. 

“no,” he said softly. no matter what mistakes she made, he couldn’t blame her. spencer knew he should carry the burden and the majority of the blame. “there’s no way, you know. no way you could mess anything up. you’re perfect.”

[mikechang]

❝ It’s not your fault. ❞

Not his… what world was Addie living in? He knew she loved him, but her comforting him about the situation? It seemed fucked up in more ways than he was willing to address. Shaking his head, Spencer looked down at his girlfriend. “Wait, are you forgetting about who chose the listing and made a fucking PowerPoint about why we should purchase the house?” Granted, it was nothing compared to what Addie would have done, but he had had the idea that it would sway her. And it had.

“And the fact that I knew about everything? And was super stoked about the activity at first? Do we need to get you to a doctor for those memory problems?”